Monday, July 13, 2009

Not Apollojetik

Musashi Sez:

Som of yu reedr peeples ben complaynin about mai spellin again, so I figgerd I wud writ yu a verree stiff not. Mom sez I cud call it an “apollojetik” cuz I am speekin in defens of mai pozishun. She sez thoz old Greek gyz inventid the ideer, so I spoz it’s based on that god-fellr, Apollo, whu was prettee gud at talkin an singin. But is sillee. Apollojee is wen yu haz to say “sorree.” An I am not sorree about mai spellin.

1 of mom’s frends sez mai spellin is awful, an I has desydid to beleev she reellee meens awsom, like inspirin “Awww!” from peeples cuz they’r so impressd. Mai granma keeps sayin that I shud “praktis mai spellin,” but is sillee, cuz I am praktissin all the tim! She sez, “Whut ar peeples goin to thingk? Yer mom is a Inglish teetchr an she spozd to check yer spellin. An it luk lik this?” (I’m whut mom callz parafrazin heer, OK?)

See writin tayks lotsa tim. That’s why somtimz I don’t publish mai blog everdae. Cuz somtim mom is too bizee graydin her students payprs to tayk the tim we need to argyoo ovr ever wurd. Lik this:

How manee tim I tell yu? “Might” got an H in it.

Musashi: How yu noe? All yu heers is the M, I, an T. I jus throws in the G cuz yu lik it an it look lik a kittee tail.

Mom: Yu don’t beleev in dikshunareez, do yu?

Musashi: Cors not. Somtim nex yeer I’m goin to writ mai own dikshunaree. Yu kin hav yers, an I’m havin myn.

Mom: Well, kin yu at leest be consistent an spell the saym wurd the saym wae all the tim?

Musashi: I spell it how I feel it at the tim. Som wurds mayk me feel happier on Toozdaes than they do on Windzdaes.

Mom: OK. Fergit the apollojetik. What yu ar writin is, ahem, “An Epistemological Study of Empathetic Orthographical Reform (Feline Dialect).”

Musashi: Wow. I had no ideer I was so smarteepants…

Now we do this fer evree wurd. So yu'r all jus luckee we evr finish theez blogs at all.


Pamela said...

Hey! Why are you writing about spelling: aren't you supposed to be preparing for your mission??

Musashi said...

1. Peeples keep menshunnin this, an mom had a nigtmayr about it.
2. Wher wer yer smartypants commentz wen I wuz writin about the egsitin stuff? Hmm?


Pamela said...

The egsitin stuff didn't need any comments! You are good to your mom.

Musashi said...

Lik mos writrz (I akskd mom), I figgr if noboddee commint, then it meen that noboddee cayr, or wors, noboddee reed it at all.

She sez that writrz ar para-noyd. That seem lik too big a wurd. But we cayrz about it a whol awful lots!!!

Pamela said...

I had a pair o' noids once, but I lost one.

Musashi said...

Haha. Yu is verree amyoozin.

But I onlee gots 4 reederz that I'm shur of. Mebbe ther is also 2 or 3 whu ar shai an won't evr commint, or who ar lik mai granparinst whu contak me bai emayl if I luckee.

But I am countin on yu an a chik in Texis (mai ont, akshullee) to keep maykin commints that a kittee kin respon to. This is verree halpful in en-jen-durin ideers. Is cleerlee part of mai creaytiv prosesss.

MY said...

Me, Too says:

U spel awlrite. Culd bee wurs. Doughnt eet plantz. They mayk u shaykee.