Friday, February 28, 2014

Party Time!

Musashi Sez:

So Mom is travelling this weekend, so I has to whole place to maiself, an also Anna an Irene. I figger we kin have a wild party. I noe that Mom sed, "Yu be gud now, Musashi," but I figger that since she wore her winter hat insted of the noo pift helmet ("Silly Musashi, that ar a summer hat"), that mean that now all the adventchoors are belong to ME.

I might has mentchuned to her that I was plannin a little get together wift mai frends Mr. Tyger an Rex an all the writer bunnies. She sed, "That's nice, Musashi," an I figger that she is imaginining a tea party like what that Mad Hatter feller was known fer, since he also had a kittee frend.

I akshullee had somethin else in mind, but if you don't tell her, I won't neither!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Hats an Blogs...

Musashi Sez:

Ok, folks, I has ben thinkin verree hard. Mom sez I has the pink smok comin out of my perty black eerz. I think this troo, cz they are warm eevn when ther is all that whit stuffs outside.

I has ben havin the mixed feelins about mai noo rhinocerosaucerous/ponee frend, whu is apparently not ust visitin but going to liv her from now on. Also, I has been runnin an jumpin, becuz yu noe, spring. It ar comin.

Also, side note, mom got a pift helmut like half off when the army an navy store died suddenlike. So she is all like "All the adventchoorz are belonging to ME!"

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Poetree an Frends are a Gud Combinayshun

 Musashi Sez:

So Mom has been explaining to me about how yu kin learn stuffs about poetree by readin teh work of peeples who is reallee good at it and trying to do what they has did. Most recently, our frend Pamler, whu is a skoler type when it come to that Inglush literachoor, writed us a poem!!! We are verree excited about this, but we make time to give yu the original first.

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
by Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove

That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,

Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,

Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,

By shallow rivers to whose falls

Melodious birds sing madrigals.

The Passionate Musashi to His Rhino
By Pamler

Come live with me and be my ponee
And we will eat all the macaroni
Or boot noodles that Mom Sue can make
And all the firstest drafts we can take.

And we will sit upon the bed,
Seeing Sue sigh and bang her head
Upon the desk when writing gets tough
And remind her why they call drafts “rough.”

Works Cited
Marlowe, Christopher. "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love."
Siska, Pamler. "The Passionate Musashi to His Rhino." MusashiGuide. 8 Feb. 2014 Web 8 Feb. 2014. in teh comments sekshun.


Musashi Sez:

So I not eevn noe wher to start. Hmm. Now We Are Six wud be gud cuz we is, or at least, I ar.

But mor than that, yu all noe how hard I hav been campaigning fer a ponee of mai veree own so I kin practice ridin him so I kin go on to become a cowboy in the mooveez. An Mom allus sez NO. Huh.

Except that this time, she finallee wentid to a store that sell poneez!!! I not eevn noe that Brookline had sutch a thing. I thoughtid that she wud hav to go verree far awae, like Texas or Collarraddo or mebbe eevn West Virginia. But no.

Now I am not sayin it wentid the way I wud hav wanted it to, or eevn the wae she egspectid. She went in an talked to a whole bunch of ponees, incloodin a purple one whu had perty shiny perpul ribbons fer her mane and tale an also one whu looked like a giraffe wift a really short neck. And to each of these ponee folks, she sed, “Hullo. Wud yu lik to be mai kittee Musashi’s ponee? He wants help in becoming a cowboy kittee.”

An all of them sed the same thin: “Wait, Musashi is yer kittee? That feller wift the blog? And the reallee, reallee sharp CLAWS???”
“Um,” said Mom. “So yu has heard of him?” Which, it turn out was not the bestest answer if what we wer lookin fer was a ponee in the horsie family to com liv wift us an teach me cowboy stuffs.

But Mom is flexibobbul (problee from all that yoger latelee), so she luks around to see if there were anee peeples whu were mostly poneez but not so skittish. So she luks at the bunneez (but we gots three (3) bunnee types here an onlee one (1) typewriter, so she figgered another bunnee wud not work). An she talked to the lion person, but he seemed wae too innerested in how many bunneez lived wift us, which also not seem so gud.

Then she talked to a couple of differint elerphants (one was dark bloo an the other was ligt bloo; I figger one was from Indier an the other was from Afriker, although I kin never rememberrer which is which). All of them seemed nice but near-sigted, an not likely to want to charge into a gunfigt at the Alrigt Corral.

Finalee, she say sadlee, “Doesn’t aneebodee want to get adopted an com be mai kittee’s ponee? He’s akshullee qwite nice most of the time.”

An just as she was draggin herself out of the store, a big low voice sed, “I’m not afraid of kittee claws. I am quite tougf akshullee, an also I hav alwaes wanted to be a cowboy.”

Wull, Mom turned around an there was this big Rhinocerosaucerous, wift a real live horn on his nose! An he was corduroy, which we are also boft qwite fond of in our blankies an clotheses an peeples. 

An she say cautiously, "Um, what yu eat, if yu don't mind my askskin, an also how mutch of it? Cuz we are on a limited budjit."

An he soun verree sad then, an he sez, "Oh, that not gud. I eats Firstest Drafts of Writin. I prefer handrigtin. I kin digest the typed kind, but then I has to hav a mint to make it go down properlee."
An Mom nearly shout wift joy, cuz if there one thing we gots more of than pens that don't work an poops, it hafta be our Firstsest Drafts. She write hers in pen an marker an I perfer to yooz crayons (speshullee purpul). But she is cayrful by naytchur, so she asksk, "Does yu has a fayvoritest snack?"

An he say shyly, "Wull, I like to has a few bloo-berries now an then to keep my pertee powdr bloo color up, and I nom on boot noodles when I kin get them, so mai teeft stays healthee."

"Huh," sez Mom to hersalf. "This soun too good to be troo." So she asksk him (out loud, so he kin hear her), "Are yu afraid of anythin I shud noe about? Plumbers? Vacuums? Lightning?"

"Wull," he says slowly, "I not fond of fire, cuz it make me want to run an stamp it out, altho the laydee who own this stor has ben explainin to me about the 'gas stofe' and how yoosful it kin be. I not like it, but I kin manidge mai instinkt to put the fire out if it bloo. I like bloo."

So this is the guy whu yoozed to be named Roy, but he akssked to be called Rex instead. He has come to liv wift us an be mai ponee, although I am still a little nervuss around him, on account of the horn. But he seem pertee happy to have been adopted (an I certainlee unnerstand that!). Mom sez that the whol point is that he has much thickerer skin than the other poneez, and that will be helpful in the days to com.

So I kinder has a ponee! Finlee! After all theez years!

Friday, February 7, 2014

Mai Lastest Ditch Efferts

Musashi Sez:

So, as the mime artist seds, here goes nothing. (Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!)*

I has ben asksin mai mom fer a ponee fer, like, years an years. Mebbe evn FIVE years, which are like a whole paw or mor, depending. But she keep sayin, Poneez is egspensive. They are big. They eets a lotta straw. They mayk way bigger poops than I does (an whu gonna clean that up?). They reqwire the egsersize. They makes noise wift their hoofs, so the folks downstairs will complain… Blah, blah, blah.

Against these argyoomints I sez, Yus, but wiftout a ponee to practice wift, how am I goin to prepare fer my fyootchr career as a movie cowboy?
So I has been thinking about last-ditch efferts. This is whut Sir Terry Pratchett sometimes call the “Million-to-One” Inevitability. I shows yu a “quote that is important to think about”**:

“When you need them, million-to-one chances always crop up….You know, that when there’s just one chance which might just work—well, it works. Otherwise, there’d be no—…I mean, it stands to reason, if last desperate chances didn’t work, there’d be no…well, the gods wouldn’t let it be any other way. They wouldn’t.”***

So I has decide that when we finalee go to beds tonigt an she is fallin asleep, I will verree softlee tell her a buncha cowboy stories, the ones where the cowboy kittee an his brayv horsee sidekik save the day from wandering bandits, an buffallos and also, possibul erpublicans, tho I am not shur about this last categoree. Mebbee we kin just stick wift cattle wrasslers. Cuz the cattle are busy enugf wiftout having to wrassle wift each other. Huh.

*In case yu not noe by now, this last bit is the soun of me larfing. Some peeples larf “hee haw” or eevn “har har har.” I do it mai way instead.
**This is a veree neer parafraze from one of mai mom’s stoodint’s paypers. I wud hav quoted direkly, but then I wud hav had to tell yu his name, which we think not a good idear.
***Pratchett, Terry. Guards! Guards! New York: HarperTorch, 1989, p. 292. Go read it.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Mor of Mai Dierbolikul Plans

Musashi Sez:

So there I was sittin in my kittee bed watchin the neighbors cleen all the sno off their cars, when Mom came home from work. She say, “Musashi, hav yu been usin mai libraree card again?”

Natchurallee I sez, “Whu me? What make yu think that?”

An she say, “Cuz when I went to the libraree, they had books they said I reqwested on the computer, but I not reqwest them.”
An she showed me them: Being the Owner Yer Pony Would Choose fer Himself, Horse Nutrition fer Dummies, and Cowboy Stuntmen on the Silver Screen.

I gived her mai most innocentest look and sed, “I’m prettee shur that yu reqwested the first two fer yer steampunk novel, cuz rememberer how you toldid me that in the olden days, everbody went to work on horsies instead of cars. You called it Researtch.”

“Mm hmm,” she sed. “An the othr one?”

“Um,” I sed helpfully, thinking verree fast. “I not noe why yu reqwested that one, but if yu not innerested in reading in, I kin read it fer yu instead!”
She huffed one of them big Sighs she alwaes do an sez, “Musashi, what am I goin to do wift yu?”

An I decided this migt not be the bestest time to sugjest she get me a ponee fer mai birftdae…

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Turtul fer a Day

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I has been readin othr peeple's blogs fer inspirayshun, an mai Mom's frend Amandr wrote one about sesame oil that not evr mention Aladdin an his Fansee Cave, but had a cute piktchur of a turtul.

So, since Mom is back at werk full time again, I has decided to spend the day pertending to be a turtul. This migt sound diffrcult, but it is not hard if yu noe how. I tells yu.

1. This first part is lik that yogr thing Mom has been tryin, egsept wiftout all the gruntin. Yu has to get in w hat she call VW Bug Poz. A Bug is a car that sit on its haunches, not showin its paws, like this.

2. I also shows yu the unnerside so yu noes wher to put yer paws, cause it is not immediately obvious.

3. Yu stis like this an thingk veree hard about stuffs, like whut you want fer yer birftdae (fer example) or if yu fergettid to turn off the coffee pot inside yer shell.

4. If thinkin like this make yu worree, yu kin go inside yer shell to turn off the coffee pot an get som paper an a crayon an make a list. I recommend green or bloo, cuz these are turtul colors.

5. While yu is inside ther, yu kin take a nap.

6. When yu wakes up, yu stretches an then yu walks veree slowlee into the kitchen. This cud take a veree long time, an yu may has to stop fer anothr nap, but since nobody home, they are not goin to trip over yu.

7. This the trickee part, cuz yu probablee want noms rigt about now, but it seem that turtuls can't jump. But it is okay, because kangaroos kin jump lik nobody's bizness, eevn betterer than kittehs, if yu kin believe it. So yu pertends to be a kangaree who gots a turtul in yer pocket and yu JUMPS!!! up to wher yer fud is. The kangaroo an the turtul has lunch togethr. Whil they are there next to the erfidgiator, they kin leev yer list, cuz that is often where Mom put her grossery list, to remind her to buy all that gross stuff lik orinje joos an spinach. I give yu a example of a list.


Then she will just think that it is her list and she will buy stuff.