Saturday, August 14, 2010
Somtimz wen writrz is workin verree hard on a storee, they has to studdee a plays or a tim that isn’t wher an wen they ar livin. This reqwyr “research.” Research meen yu has to go othr playsiz an tayk lotsa noets, an if yu got a camera, yu tayks piktchurz too.
Laytlee, I has ben floppt around the hous an Mom callz me Collapso Kittee. She sez this lik Calypso kittee egsept wiftout the steel drumz an littul umbrellrz. Parentlee, faymus writrz do this calypso-research-thin. Ernee Heminwae livd lik this. An although he murdrd som rhinoserosausiz, an wuz cleerlee a verree bad hoomin, parentlee he wus a gud writr.
(We dedrkayts this blog to mai mom’s frend Jennr, whu needs to get a funding fer goin to Inglund, wher her 1st novul is taykin plays. Wift lov.)
Friday, August 13, 2010
Wull, it’s Augrst, an so I went to the vet agen. Mos peeples (whu isn’t me or mai mom) go on vacayshun in Augrst. Me, I has to go to the vet. Huh.
Now, heer the reellee stoopid part. The las 2 yeerz, wen I went to the vet, they givd me shots, which not hurt mutch, an then they givd me a shinee medul. This tim, they stuk me an mayd me go to sleep an messd wift mai teeft an gumz, an wok me up feelin yukkee. But does I get givd a medul fer this? No! What kinda sens is that?
An we’r talking about dentul stuff heer. Eevin hoomin peeplez, who is larjlee big an not scayrd of truks an loud noiziz, is scayrd of dentists. Somtimz wen hoominz go to the dentist, they get givd a bloon. Admitlee, this not so gud as a medul, but it also pertee cool.
So how com I not get a bloon?
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Wen yu writs stuff that is verree, verree long—lik a whole payj or mor—it kin be diffrcult to remembrer whut yu’r goin to writ at the end. So yu has to writ it down befor yu forgets. This called a “outlin” but it not mayk sens, cuz if yu kin writ it down, yu dint fergit, rigt?
Mom sez that outlinz don’t hav to be detayld, an yu dosn’t eeven hav to writ egzaktlee. Yu kin drawr piktchurz, lik wift crayonz.
She sez that Mistr Wil Shaykspeer problee yoozd outlinz, cuz all his playz hav 5 parts borkd into bits wift numbrz, an mos of his pomz has 14 linz. An lotsa peeples lov his writin, so probabul outlinz arnt so stoopid aftr all. Huh.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Wull, todae is a speshul dae, cuz I has livd wift mai mom now fer 2 whol yeerz. Mom sang Fer He’z a Jolly Gud Fellr to me wen she wuz feedin me mai noms, an she givd me a nu toy, a cattrpillr gy wift bukwheet in him to mayk him cruntchee wen I squish his tummy. I lik his sounz. I also lik bells wift ballz in them—no, wayt, the othr wae round. An mom’s voice sayin, “Hnrf, yeah, I’m awayk, I feed yu,” or somtimz “Dinnr tim, Musashi, toonr, toonr, toonr,” or “Yu wants to plae wift the layzr pointr? OK!”
Also birdeez singin. An Mistr Tygr, when we wrasslz, sez, “Nommin yer hed! Nommin yer toez! Nommin yer tummy an yer Isles of Langerhans!” I not entirelee shur whut the Isles of Langerhans is, but mom sez they ar importint, an if I reellee want to noe, I shud sleep on the ensyclrpeedia.
Ovr at mai spy blog, the bunny rabbit writrz ar taykin the dae off, but yu won’t heer about it til tomorrer at the earliest, cuz aftr thoz crayzee gys has gon wild wift the gingko-infyoozd carrot joos, it tayk them a whil to recovr.