Sunday, January 29, 2012

Musashi: Theesis Coatch Extrordinarlee

Musashi Sez:

So mai mom is writin her theesis, wich ar a reellee big paypr wift argyoomints in it. Hers is moslee about good ol’ Noah, whu we reellee liks, an also som big ol ship naymed “Reelee Big Ship,” whut sinkd 100 yeerz ago. It is verree faymus, eevn tho I had not heard of it befor. Parintlee, they has eevn mayd mooveez about it. Huh.

But eevn tho mai mom has writid theeseez (this the ploorul of theesis, go figgr) befor—2 of them eevn—this one is givin her the crayzeez. Seems lik her othr onez wuz fikshun storeez, verree long. This one she can’t jus mayk up, an it onlee 50 payjiz, which is lik about 2.7777 timz all mai set of toez.

Now if ther one thin I has lernd about writin this heer blog, it is eezier to writ somthin long than somthin short, moslee cuz if yu writs short, peeples payz attenshun to the whol darn thin an all its deetaylz. If yu writs long, they just skims an yu kin gets awae wift, fer instins, creativ spellin an grammr.

So mai mom is jus suffrin. It tookt her 9 hours to writ 3 and a haf payjiz, which isn’t eevn one back paw! So I reelizd that it wuz mai dootee to halp her.

Don’t git me rong. I ben halpin all along, yu noe, sittin between her an the kapyutr skreen to mayk shur them radeeayshun wayvs doezn’t overwelm her. But it was tim to tayk mai gaym to a whol noo bottul of gummeewerms! Yus.

Now mai mom somtimz giv talks about writin yer theesis or dissertayshun (which iz the dance verzhun of the theesis). I has sleepd on her notcards, so I noe all the thins yu has to do. I tell yu her roolz an how I halpd her.

1) Stay Wadderaytid. Evrytim I went into the bedrum where she wuz typin, I drinkd out of my wadder fountain, cuz it jus lik yawnin and stretchin. If one persin does it, evrboddee start doin it.

2) Stay Egzersized. This was fun, cuz I got to be spy-lik AN athletik. Ther she’d be, sittin at the kapyutr, wift her bak to the dor an I’d com runnin! in an jump up behind her an smak her on the bak of the hed. (It not eezee to get a typin-peeple’s attenshun. Yu gots to put in the effert.) Then she say, “Huh. Musashi! Yu rigt. We needz to plae.” An then she’d chays me out of the rum an play sokkr wift me.

3) Rembember that Writin is Hard. I gets on the desk an I murmurz into her mouft, “It not eezee bein brillyunt writrz lik we is. But we suffrs fer our art, yus?” An of cors, she agree wift me.

4) Keep Singin. This a no braynr. Which is yoosful, unner the circumstensiz.

5) There was another thin, but I needed to nap, so I fergettid it. But wen she finlee clapse on the bed, I snuggle up to her nee an goez to sleep wift her. Solidity wift the suffrin is verree importint, theolojiklee speekin.

If yu is writin yer theesis too, yu shud get a frend to do thees thins fer yu!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Happee Draggon Yeer! Woo hoo!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom studdee that Chineez kungfoo stuff, wift them tigrz an craynz an somtimz eevn monkeez. So I am verree multicultchurul. Todae is the beginnin of the Yeer of the Draggon, whu is a scayree fellr whu breethe fir an somtimz ligtnin or wadder, dependin.

Mai onkul Stan is a draggon typ. I don’t thingk he breethe the ligtnin or wadder, tho. Meenwhil, I wuz probbabul bornd in 2008, in the yeer of the rat, which ar jus ridiklus. Huh. How cud a kittee be bornd in a yeer of the rat?

So I am not convinsd of this Chinese astrolojee. Them Greeks wud hav sed I wuz a Capricorn, which is a big goet, or Aqwayreeyus, which hav to do wift wadder. I am on wun of them an on the kusp of the othr, whatevr that meen.

Yah, rigt, me a goet whu lik wadder. This almos as stoopid as egspektin me to be a rat, when I ar cleerlee a kittee persin.

I not too impressed by this strolojee thin. Huh. I wud hav been a grayt dragon thogh, breethin fir an ligtnin at that littul red dot…

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Gard Kittee vs. the Steemeraytr

Musashi Sez:

Wull, we wuz reedin buks todae, wen all of a suddin ther started beein sqweekee noiziz frum the cornr of the room. Mom sed it wuz jus the steemeraytr, but thingkd it wuz mousseez. Yu can’t trust them mousseez. If yu let them sqweek unnr yer florbordz they will tayk ovr the whol partment. So I jumpt up on the bak of the coutch, cuz I has reeded the Art of War and that fellr Klawzwitz, an they say it is verree importint to tayk the high ground, and mom sed that cud inclood coutchiz.

She is verree luckee that I am so flexobbul in all the things I kin do. I bet my unkulz whu are doggeez aren’t neerlee as gud as I am at gardin. Huh.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Mai Continyooin Edumakayshun an Career Planz

Musashi Sez:

OK, so mai mom is a gud writr. Peeplez pay her to halp them to figgr out their writin problimz. So wen she is confuzzled about writin, it ar a big deel.

Now she is writin her sekund Master Theesis, only this one is verree small, onlee 12% of her othr Mastrz Thesis, an onlee 27% of her Batchlr’z thesis, so this mayk her less than entirelee happee wift her school, given that she gots less time to thingk about thesis stuffs an mor dezyr to sayv the werld wift it.

Still she and me are thingkin verree hard. Also, our frend Pamler has ben halpin. She com ovr on las Frydae to halp mai mom thingk thru all the cirkyoolr stuffs she had ben thingkin throo. I not follr all of it, but it seem lik the mayn problim has to do wift talkin about storeez folk alreddee noe. How yu do that wiftout them taykin suddin naps?

So cleerlee, I has ben thingkin about how I cud becom somthin innerestin, lik a chef or a spai, cuz cleerlee the writer/Inglish teetchr thing is not so re-myoonrative. Huh.

Which is not so sae that I has givn up the ideer of somdae getting a ponee an praktissin at becoming a cowboy-kittee. Yu has to hold onto yer dreemz, aftr all.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Our Noo Yeer Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, Mom is at it agen, tryin to get me to rezoloot maiself to do stuffs she want me to do. An whut she want me to do is verree sneekylee lik whut she want to do herselfs. Fer example, she thingk I need mor egsersyz. Huh. An also, she want me to werk on the blog mor. Huh. An she thingk I cud be yoozin mai tim mor constructiv-lik if I wuzn’t alwayz nappin. Huh.

Wull, I has som rezolootin fer her too. I thingk she shud let us hav the FudNetwerk on the TV, cuz then I cud lern to cook reel gud whil she isn’t eevn hom to worree about it. She has toldid me about this cool stayshun that she somtim watch when she is at the jym on them eliptickle masheenz. She has lernd about Hollundayz saus an also how to peel a garlik thing properlee.

Sekund, she shud plae wift me mor. Yu noe, runnin an jumpin, an playin sokker wift the ballz wift bellz in them, an of cors the layzr pointr.

Lastest, we shud hav mor movie tim, lik that noo one wift that fellr Antonio the Spaynish kittee, wift the cayp an sord, cuz that wud be inspirayshunul fer us boft.

Cleerlee, if we boft wer to fix ourselfs lik we want to, we cud probablee rool the werld, or at leest becom Governaytr of part of it, lik Noo Inglund, fer egzampul. Then, wen we hasds our own flag, an maybee our own verree partikler donut, we wuds have so mutch powr, the werld wud finlee recognyz our genral amazingness an let us rool the whol werld.

I figgr we shud acheev this by the middul of Martch at the laytest.