Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Naytchur of Diffrint Eekonomeez

Musashi Sez:

Wull, parentlee, I confuzzld som hoomin peeples a few daez ago wen I sed I hads a payin gig, cuz they thogts that I wuz getting payd in Unitee Stayts monee, lik dollerz an sutch. But I not too into that particler eekonomee, cuz it go up an down bfor yu noez it. I perfer barter an lik that.

Fer this heer coatchin gig, I is getting paid by mai mom (fer whoom mai pertisipayshun mayk her lif mor easier) in hugs an kissiz. I mae not like it mutch (cuz I is a boy, an, lik, eeeewww!) but it mayks her happy. An mebbe I gets kittee treets to as a frentch benefit. Whu noe?
Meenwhil I am bildin up my curriculikular viter, or somthin; this lik a rezoomay, but smallerer. Mom sez if it don’t mayks yu fat an it adds to her curricuiku—rezoomay, it hafta be a gud thin.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Luk at Me, I’m Dansin!

Musashi Sez:

So yestrdae I sed that I wuzn’t mutch fer dansin, but I haz discovrd maiself in a misstaytmint. I doez dans! I jus doezn’t mutch Amerikan dans.

Yestrdae, aftr she lookd at the mos brillyunt websit, (of cors), Mom showd me a video of one of mai heeroz in the biznis: Maru, the Japaneez kittee whu lov boxis. I am not mutch of a box fan, unless they is sidwaez an yu kin run throo them lik a tunnl. But Maru is one of them cool, hip, innernashunl starz. An he do the Paypr Flamenco.

Mom sez she thinks the video clip we leavz yu wift is a SoleĆ : a slowr song about pain, dispair, an ironee. Verree dramatical. I sez it also have a definit ayr of attak. Watch the clip an see whut yu thinks!

Yu'r goin to haf to writ it down an then typ it in, cuz the Link applikayshun is fuxd. This a teknikul term I lernd from the cheezburger sit, wher they noe lotsa tecknikul termz, altho not so mutch about the kapyootrz. An if wers com to wers, yu jus go to an yu tells them yu wants Maru an payper. It caym out onlee a coupla daez ago.

Huh. So mutch fer this Hoo-Har Hoomin Teknolojee. I NOT thingk mutch of it.

PS: Yu gets egstra poynts if yu kin tell me the orijin of mai titul.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Shud be a Geststar on Glee

Musashi Sez:

So mai mom is sutcha nerd. She watch Glee lik it goin out of biznis. So does all her frends at her school wher they lern about Ceiling Cat an Jeezus an Croosaydz an stuff. Pertee borin, egsept fer mebbe the Croosaydz. I’m goin to look into that som mor. But aneewae, this bad habbit is onlee cauzin her to leep into singin! an occayzhunul eevn dansin! An somtimz she scups me up an I has to dans wift her. Huh. So not fayr.

But she’s tellin me how these kidz ar gettin into the magrzeenz, cuz they ar “tryin noo stuff an braykin boundreez” an stuff lik that. Also, they gots Kirstin Chenowith an Gwyneth Paltrow as gest starz. Huh. I cud be a gest star. OK, so I not so down wift the whol dansin thin, but Kermit the Frog wasn’t Fred Astayr an he has a grayt career AND he onlee a frong! An he got to sing wift Elton John, an Julie Androoz, an John Denvr, an lik that.

Everboddee sez “if yu kin talk, yu kin sing!” so I ben praktissin talking. I sez, “Yo!” to mai mom wen I com into the room. Somtimz I sez, “Pay attenshun!” or “Whut a lovlee carpit.” I eevn manidged, “Did yer boss giv yu the dae off?” this morning, but mom thogt I wuz akskin fer brkfist.

So that werkd out. I figger that, sins Glee had got “pikt up” fer another seezin, I gots at leest 6 monfts to lern to talk an to start mai singin carreeer. Then I figgr sins they gots most colrz of hoomins, an eevn a fellr whu has wheelz, they be opin to havin a actor whu gots pawz.

It ar troolee a whol noo werld.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Mai Noo Gig!!!

Musashi Sez:

OK, I am verree egsytid, cuz I got mai firstest payin writin gig. This meenz I writ an somboddee pae me. Mom sez that if I am verree gud, I cud eevn pay for a bottul of treets! O BOY!

An whut is this job, you asks? I am writin in a blog fer mai mom’s MIT Get Fit Team’s blog. I is the Gud Coatch. She got that meen laydee from Glee on TV to be the Bad Coatch, cuz som folks need to be bulleed an som needz to be cuddld. I’m the cuddlr, as long as it is short-term, lik 1-9 minits, cuz aftr that I has to leep awae! an go finds adventchur or cruntchee fud or possibul a warm plays unner the lamp.

Luk at me. I’am goin perfeshunnul!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Turnin the Werld Insid Owt

Musashi Sez:

I ben thingkin about how it wud be if kittee peeplez wer lik twentee feets tall an ownd the werld the wae hoomin peeples doez now. An if we had “pets” of hoomin peeples…

Ther wud havta be stors fer buyin soccr ballz an books an “caffeen,” an also spunjiz, cuz of cors hoomins don’t lik the catnip an they doezn’t hav propr tungs fer givin themselves bafts.

Mom callz this typ of thingkin “what ifs” an sez it is verree norml fer novulists an such peeplez whu thingks throo all kindsa stuff to figgr out whut migt happn. She sez that ScyensFikshun an Fantasee novulists do this kinda thin all the tim, an the bettrer they doez it, the bettrer their storeez ar...

Monday, January 17, 2011

Mor Trubbl wift Mai Novul

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom an I finishd reedin/sleepin-on that novul about them kittee wizrdz, and it wuz thrilling an a littul sad, wift som reellee egsitin parts!!! So of cors I akskd her about how I cud writ an egsitin buk wiftout havin to writ sad bits, cuz I NOT lik them. An she sed it wuz moslee a cays of “jhanra”: diffrint kindsa buks has diffrint kindsa egspektayshunz attatchd to them, an yu gotta gives folks whut they egspekts. I NOT thingk mutch of this wae of tellin storeez. Mom sez that I kin do whut I want fer mai Art, but I gotta egspekts that I migt mayk a whol lot less monnee, cuz peeples don’t pae fer to be surpryzd or dissrpoyntid. It lik the noospaypr: they not reellee pae fer noos; they pae fer “oldz.”

Huh. Stoopid hoominz. Dismotivaytin mai hihg art wen I i'z not jus a arteest’s protazhay or somthin, but a Reellee Troollee Arteest all bai maiself. HUH!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Novulz ar Hardr than they Looks

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I have ben hard at werk laytlee, tryin hard to werk on mai Noo Yeer Rezolooshunz, partiklree the one about mai novul. Mom sez that novulz is hardr than they seem, an yu gots to hav lotsa nots an owtlinz an such, an yu gots to hav a verree strong feelin about yer Mayn Chariktrz, lik whut they ar wantin, an why, an whut they are willin to do to acheev it. I toldz her that all this wuz too abstrak fer me, an cud she finds me a more spersifik egzampul? An she did.

Todae, she caym hom wift the novul by Diane Duane (whu she has red befor) calld The Book of Night with Moon.
It about som kittee wizrdz whu ar holdin the fabrik of spays an tim togethr by their clawz, whil figtin som bad gyz. It is troollee inspirin. I has mutch mor to thingk about now that I has joind mai mom whu is reedin this grayt book by sleepin on top of it whil my mom is sleepin in her bed, in between mai shifts on her knee. (This importint werk, maykin her kneez feel yoosful an stuffs.)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Epiphunnee: Kings an Crowns an Parteez!

Musashi Sez:

Happee epiphunnee! This the dae wen the three kings (or wiz-gyz, which is the meenin of the werd magi) rod into Jerusalem on a camul, which musta ben pertee crowdid, cuz camelz are the ones that has onlee one hump to sit on. I figgrz that this is proof that the wyz-gyz wer kittee peeples insted of hoomin peeplez, as is offin assoomd wen this storee gets toldid. Or mebbe they jus tookd turns. Aftr all, it wuz Christmous, an yu’r spozd to be nice to folks on Christmous.

If this is tru, then we has to chanj the song. So heer it is, chanjd. WTK = We Three Kittees

We three kitteez, whu don’t has a car
Travulz on our feetsis so far
Field and mountain, but no fountains,
Becuz we NOT lik bafts. O-O!
Star of wundr, star of perfekshun
Yu gydz us so we not needz direkshunz.
Headin west, yu still the bestest!
Now we needz a nap.

Ther ar a buntcha versiz too, but they tayks me mor tim to remembmembr.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Som Rezolooshunz, Bai ME!!!

Musashi Sez:

Heer ar som Noo Yeer’s Rezolooshunz. They follrz the tips from Mom that I toldid yu about yestrdae. Yu kin borro them if yu needz som.

1. Sleep at leest 4 hourz a nigt an 4 hours a dae.
2. Not to eets the ice creem. At all. Evr.
3. Not to get caugt sleepin unnr the heet lamp on the taybul by Karli.
4. Halp Mom gets her egsersiz by chaysin me aroun.
5. Not to mayk faysiz wen Mom insist on watchin Glee. (I’m allowd to sleep throogh it tho.)
6. Halp Mom wift her relernin Frentch, cuz I is tres fluid in the Frentch.
7. Not to get unnerfuts wen folks is cookin.
8. Writ at leest 1 blog per dae.
9. Start thingkin about a novul.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Noo Yeer’s Rezolooshunz: Sciens vs Mai Mom!

Musashi Sez:

Parentlee, evr yeer hoomin peeplez mayks speshul promissiz to therselfs to get biggr or smallr or bettr at stuff. They does this in Janooary, an it is calld “Noo Year’s Rezolooshunz.” Mai mom does it too, but she do it bettrer than lotsa folks, cuz she gots the plan.

Accordin to Wikrpedia, “Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. A separate study in 2007 by Richard Wisemen from the University of Bristol showed that 78% of those who set New Year resolutions fail…”

Huh. Whut they noe? They jus scientitsts. Mai mom wuz a percastinayshun coatch, and she noe lots an lots about motrvaytin peeplez to a-cheev their golz. An Mom sez:

1. Has at leest 1 (an mebbe mor) no-braynr rezolooshun(z) that yu can keep wift yer eyz clozd. (I assoom this pertaynz moslee to nappin or mebbee sniffin thingz.)
2. Is importint to rezolv to halp othrz. (I is mor likelier to halp mai mom wift importint stuff ((lik nappin an egzersiz)) than to halp me.))
3. Enligted self-intrist sound bad to som peeplez but it reellee werk!!
4. Has at leest 1 hard rezolooshun, lik “Figgr plan fer werld pees” or “get shots at vet” or “NOT to eetz the ice creem!” or like that. Mom sez yu shud strectch yerself. She stretchiz bfor shovellin or doin kung fu, or somtimz cookin, if the resipee luk reellee complkaytid. She NEVER pullz muskl, so it mus werk.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The Blog Aftr the Lastest Wun Is the Firstst

Mom Says:

Now we join Captain Musashi in the winter of his discontent, or at least the winter of his inability to concentrate, as he steers closer to the fake Greanpeace ship, wift—er, I mean, with—Haidee readying the cannons, packing them with gunpowder as Josh sticks the “verree speshul” ammunition in and rams it home with the ramrod. Then the two struggle to swivel the cannons back to bear on the enemy vessel. From there, Haidee can fire them herself. Josh goes above.

Musashi Sez:

Ther I am at the wheel, watchin as we gits closerer to the…pirate ship. I shouts to Josh, “Avast, matey, hoist the mainsaylz!”

“Hoist the mainslz, aye, aye!’

“Brace the yardslz!”

“Brace the yardslz, aye, aye!”

“Steady… steady…” I watch Onkul—I meens, First Mayt Josh scramblin up an down the masts an fussin wift all the rops and maykin the big whit saylz go WHOOMP! wift wind! A sigt that will keep me at sea fer dayz an dayz!

“Hoist the garagesaylz!” I calls out grandlee.

“Hoist the—whot? Cap’n, we ain’t got no garagesaylz!”

“Oop. Belay that, Mayt. Gettin carried awae agen. Perpayr fer boarding collies, or possibul som big egsplozhunz.”

“Er, aye, aye, Cap’n.”

(Then I wentid ovr in mai hed the ordrz I had givd to Haydee fer jus about this momint: Don’t fir until yu seez the whit in their eyz! Sound gud, no? But she sez, “Cap’n, I won’t be seein their eyz from below deks.”

“Oh, uh, yus, of cors. Wull, kin yu smell their breft?”

“Onlee if it’s reellee, reellee bad.”

“Huh. Wull, Haydee, yu got that fansee degree from Oxferd Yooniversitee. I figgr yu’ll noe when’s gud to fir. Um. Fir at will, Qwartrmastr!”

“Aye, Cap’n.”)

“Steady…Here we go, mayts!”

Fire spurtid out of their hull an jus missd us. I tookd a big breft. One-missississippi, BOOM; Two-Missippi, BOOM; Three-Mispi-ispi, BOOM! (Huh!) Montana, BOOM!”

An ther they wer, sprayin up into them pirates’ riggin an either getting stuck ther or fallin down to the ravening jawz of them colleez. Togethr, Me an Josh yelld, “Look: SQWIRRLZ!”

Abord the emenee ship wuz chaos, doggeez chaysin the grey sock puppits we’d mayd, sowin on silvr tinsel taylz, an yoozin them instead of thoz bowlin ballz, which wud hav jus sinkd the ship—an then how we gets the pirate trezhur?

(See captinz gots to thingk of thins lik this…Is verree responsibobbul job.)

Anneewae, by now, Captin Morgin wuz clingin to his maynmast, waving his big whit lacee hankee in surrendr, whil one crayzd collee wuz chewin on his boot from belo.

MOREL OF THE STOREE: Eevn soopr-smartypants doggeez got their Achilleez noezez.