Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Innerlopr Goz Hom, an Also Cupcayks

Musashi Sez:

Befor I tellz yu about mai cupcayk birftdae surpryz parteez, I gotsta tell yu about whut happind wift Jaspr an his hoomin.

So Karlee & Carlos (K&C) moovd the Naymless Kittee into Karlee’s room fer the tim bein. They caym an went, an wen they wer gond, the kittee cried an scratchd at the dor. It wuz a confuzzlin tim.

Mom pikkt me up an tryd to egsplayn me whut wuz goin on. She sed, “Musashi! Yu’r mai buddee!” an she gives me lotsa kissiz an tell me mai fur smell gud. An she sez, “Wen somboddee havn’t got a hom, we gotsta halp them, rigt?”

“Huh. OK.”

“Wull, ther ar another kind of homlessness, too. It called temperaree, lik wen somboddee akshul got a hom, but their hoomin gets lostid. Then we gotsta tayk cayr of the kittee whu is heer whil we finds the hoomin whu got lostid.”

“Huh. If yu sae so.”

“This calld hosprtalitee. In forrin contreez wher they gots big mountins or big hot dezzerts, hosprtalitee is a Law.”

“Yus,” I sez, “but if we don’t has thoz thins, it not a law heer!”

“Wull,” sez she, “but we gots big, scaree truks. Yu remembrer las Jooly, wen we vizitid the Vet Laydee? The one whu givd yu the shinee bloo medul fer bein brayv wen she givd yu the raybeez shot?”

“Huh. Why I not get a medul fer being brayv on the sidwalk in mai carryin thin? I NOT lik sidwalk!”

“Egzaktlee!” shouts Mom. “Sidwalk is danjruss fer kitteez! So we is being hosprtabul whil we try to find this kittee’s companyun hoomin.”


Mom’s doin that annoyin Bein Rigt Thin agen, an I NOT lik it. She sez the other kittee is a gest, but he seem mor lik a innerlopr to me!

So laytr, K&C goes out, an Mom an me sits on the coutch wift our blankeez, cuz it wuz a cold dae and the othrz hads their windoz opn a littul. But that wuz OK, cuz it wuz verree cozy fer ME an MOM. Togethr! She NOT aneebodee els’z Mom!!! Huh! (Not! Not! NOT!)

Qwot of the Dae: “Has yer cupcayk an eets it too.”

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Pawz fer a SrPryz Partee! (wift othr gud nooz)

Musashi Sez:

OK. So I noes that yu all has ben worryin about the homless kittee. An I got payjiz mor to say about how it wuz wen he wuz heer. (His naym wuz Jaspr, by the wae). I’m goin to tell yu now that he is OK. I’ll tell yu about how that all werkd out laytr. But, wuns he wuz cleerlee OK, then mai mom “commenst” to giv me a surpryz birftdae partee! So I tell yu about that now, cuz it wuz surpryzin an egsytin, and tomorrer I’ll tell yu about Kaspr’s storee. K?

Mom says:

This is not a hard story to tell. I came home with the devil’s food cake mix and eggs, having already made sure that I had orange marmalade. Let’s face it: he’s a black cat, so we HAD to have the devil’s food cake. But he’s also a spicy little Paddington kittee (and DON’T tell him I said that!). So we had to have something with a little élan—this is a word I got from the crossword puzzles I do on the train home. It is easier to spell than pizzazz.

So, with vegetable oil from Karlee, and cupcake papers picked up by Carlos, I put together some slightly “voom” cupcakes. We sang "Happee Birftdae" and ate the naked ones. I will draw the ninja turtles and stuff on the ones I bring to EDS tomorrow—and those divinity students, oh yes, they will sing. Hah! They will sing if they want Musashi Birthday Cupcakes! (This is Musashi maykin me channul him.)


Musashi Sez:

Yah. Yu gotsta sing. But yu jus ask my granpa and granma Splekki: yu kin pik whut kee yu wants to sing in… I not so pickee….

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Mistree Kittee Confuzzlz Our Lyf

Musashi Sez:

This morning, somboddee nokkd on our dor an aksd mai mom if she had a kittee.

She sed, “Yes!”

The voys aksd if perhaps the kittee wuz on othr sid of dor (the sid wift the voys)?

Mom sed, “No. I’m lookin at him rigt now.”

The voys went awae.

Laytr on, Mom left, an then I heerd her voys an then she caym bak, pord som of mai littr in a big thin an waddr in a littul thin, an went out agen. It wuz a big mistree.

Laytr aftr that, my roommayts, Karlee an Carlos (whu they ar not twinz), caym in, pord a littul of mai fud in a littul boul, went out, and caym in agen. They sat an talkd bout som por homless kittee, an I wuz startin to thingk mebbe it wuz that weerd kittee from Cheshr.

Then Mom caym hom, an a kittee follrd her. He wuz a whit kittee wift a blak tailcot, jus a littul gy. But why he com in heer?

He started to wandr around wift us all follrin him, an I not shur whut to do. Does I purr? Does I powns!? It wuz a defnit dilemmin.

Fynlee, they brings him into Karlee’s room an clos dor. They brings all thos thins they pord outsid into Karlee’s room an then Mom goes to werk at compyootr, gromblin about taxis, or mebbe taxes. Hard to tell. She doesn’t so much r-tik-yoo-layt wen she gromblz.

Laytr on, Karlee aks Mom about if the Othr Kittee sprayz? Cuz she not shur if him has got the po-lyt up-bringin I has. Mom tells her not to worree cuz his companyun peeplz will be comin in no tim at all.

Huh. She sutch an optomitrest.

Monday, March 22, 2010

It’s Fynlee SPRING! Reellee!!!

Musashi Sez:

Yestrdae wuz verree egsytin. I wuz jus sittin ther in mai lookin-out-the-windo kittee-bed, an ther wuz this pertee sound, that also mayd me hungree. Verree stranj. I jumpt up an lookt down an ther wuz this funnee lookin berdee. Mos of the berds I sees is eethr all whit or all grey, or somtimz, all blak (an they is the skayree onz, cuz som of them is as big as me!). But this berdee wuz blak and grey on the outside, but his/her tummee wus all reddish-orinj.

Mom caym up behin me an sed, “Whutchu lookin at, Musashi?”

An I sed, “The funnee birdee on the grass down ther.”

She sed, “O! A robin red-brest! That meen it’s spring! She com to tell yu that it is offishlee spring!”

“How she noe wher to find me?”

“Wull, she has the saym book as ol Jak Frost has, yu rmemember, the gy who paynts funnee piktchurs in whit on the windo?”


“O yes.”

“So how com she still singin. I gets it alreddee.”

“Wull, yu noe, whil she’s heer, she migt as well tell evrboddee aroun whu don’t noe, rigt?”

Huh, I thogtid. Whut I akshullee sed wuz, “I don’t remebmbmer this happnin las yeer…”

“Cors not. Yu wer still jus littul las yeer. Yu wer bayrlee a yeer old.”

An of cors, she’z rigt. Funnee about how momz is so offin rigt. I ges they gets a book or a ons-a-monft ensyklopeedier set or somthin, so they kin keep up on theez importint kindsa isshooz.

Anneewae, Happy Spring!

Qwot of the Dae: “The erlee berd getz the werm.” –Berd Proverb

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Bein Irish Todae, Regardlis

Musashi Sez:

Top of the morning to yu!

Mom Says:

And the rest of the day to you!

Musashi Sez:

Thangks, Mom. Yu kin go bak to yer homwerk now.

Happee Saynt Patrik’s Dae, evrboddee! Mom sez that eevn tho I’m a ‘Merickan kittee wift a Japaneez naym an a altr-eego whu werk wift the British govermint, I kin be Irish todae if I wants.

Bein Irish is kinda lik bein a pirat, egsept yu dringks mor tea an yu writs bettr po-etree. Yu handlz rayn bettr, cuz yu deelz wift it mor offn, an possibul yu dringks green beer, althog I am not shur about that one.

Aneewae, my big qwetshun is: Why doez leprechauns has beerdz but not mustashiz? The gy whu wayr green clothz an act all aggressiv, whu is the roll modl fer them stoodints at Noter Dame: jus how Irish is he aneewae? Does he reellee dringk lotsa tea? Doez that stunt the groth of his mustash?

Qwot of the Dae:
Erin go Bragh, or Éireann go Bráth. Ireland forever!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Rainin Too Mutch on Mom’s Jeenyus

Musashi Singz!:

So I did me some talkin’ to the sun.
And I said I didn’t like the way he got things done,
sleepin’ on the job. But!
Those raindrops are falllin' my head, they keep fallin’...

(Burt Bacharach)

Musashi Sez:

Wull, aftr mom caym hom yestrdae wift wet feet an ankulz, I desydid that this rayn thin had jus ben goin on for too darn long!!! So I talkt to the sun and sed, “NOT want Rayn!” And he got skayrd and sed, “Um, okay.”

Is verree importint to tayk gud cayr of yer companyun hoomin. Speshlee wen her um-brella has borked.

Qwot of the Dae:
“The rayn it rayneth evree dae.” –William Shakespeare

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Studyin Too Mutch Iz Bad Fer Yer Helth

Musashi Sez:

I finded this piktchur on the innerwebs, an it shows gy’z best frend halpin him stop study about the molequles an solar enerjee an lik that. But it not onlee doggeez whu do this verree halpful servis fer their companyun peeples. Cats do it too.

Fer exampul, wen mai mom is writin payprz too mutch, I com up behind her an claw at her chayr till she turn around to aksk me whut I’m doin. An that’s kinda funnee wen yu think about it, cuz, obveeuslee, I’m clawin her chayr. If she don’t notis so mutch, I do it the othr way, which I think of as the Mad Bomber Mom Distrakshun Techneek (MBMDT): I com runnin in from the hallway and leap up an wak her on the back of her nek wift my paw. Of cors, I dozn’t yooz mai claws, cuz I’m onlee tryin to get her attenshun, an she meen well. On verree rayr okayzhunz, I will com an pat her on the knee, but wen I do that she gets all “O yu’r so kyoooot!” an ther onlee so mutch of that a gy kin stand.
But if yu gots a hoomin peeple companyun whu study a lot, I offr theez techneeks fer yu to yooz wen yu needz playin or feedin or jus reglar attenshun.

Qwot of the Dae: “Cat Viat Emptor” or, tranzlaytd, “Let the buyer kittee bewayr!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

Laydeez of all Sortz an Also Kitteez on ‘Nip

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this is a bizzee dae, an no mistayk! Mom sez that todae is Nashunul Feemaylz Dae an so we gotta be notissin folx lik Marlene Detrix an Elenr Rosevelt an Emily Dikinsn an Amelier Airhart, cuz they wuz all feemaylz whu did coolr thins than the gyz of their respective tims.

OK. All togethr: WOO HOO!!!

Now. Wift that don, I kin also turn yer attenshun to the problim of impyoor ‘Nip. Cuz it hav com to mai attenshun, throo channlz I am not at libertee to tell yu about, that som of that ther ‘Nip that is fillin yer kittee toyz migt be whatchucall Jenettiklee Modifyd. I’m still figgrin out whut that meen, but alreddee I noe it not gud. So yu gots to be payin attenshun to the layblz!

Also, cuz I fergettid to giv yu a qwot yestrdae, I givs yu 2 qwots todae!

Qwot of the Yestrdae:
“If yu izn’t nys to the littul kitteez, me an Ceilin Cat isn’t goin to be nys to yu!” –Jesus, Gospel of St. Maurice*

Qwot of the Dae:
"Women an kittees will do as they pleez, an men an doggees shud relax an get yoozd to the ideer." -- Robert Heinlein.

*Yah, so it’s apokrupful an non-cononikul an stuff: whut els is noo? Yu got a problim wift that? Huh!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Jus Wen Yu Thogt the Werld Wuz Sayf…

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I mus admit that I thogtid that the werld wuz sayf agen aftr that big erthqwayk thin in Haidi (which is souft of Florida). But parentlee, I wuz wrong! Ther have ben anothr erthqwayk thin more southrer of ther, in a plays called Chile.

Now, ferst I has to say that the Chili yu’r thingkin of is not the Chile that is havin the problims, cuz beans don’t have to worry about starvin, as a rool. So folx lik yu an me has to offr monnee to the Chile folks, jus lik we did fer the Haiti folks. Cuz them folks at the Innrnashunnul Federayshun fer Aminals needs yer halp if they’r goin to be halpin all them aminals in Chile whu has gotten confyoozd an displayst by that nastee erthqwayk…

SO: Yu gotsta thingk: whu needz mai monnee most and whu needs it soonest?

LOV: Musashi

Monday, March 1, 2010

Nu Bestest Kittee Toy Evr!

Musashi Sez:

Jus wen I wuz thingkin ther wuzn’t mutch else to writ about, Mom coms hom wift the mos resint Bestest Toy Evr. Betterer than that, it’s eevn all natchurl. It’s a SEED-POD from the Sweet Gum Tree. It is a spiky ball, so it roll reellee funnee, an also yu gots to watch yer paws if yu dosn’t want to get bit by it. An it’s verree ligt-weyt, so if yu hits it jus rigt, it kin go verree far across the livin room.

Yu shud all get som fer yerselvz!

I gives it 3 stars!

Qwot of the dae: "No kittee aneewher evr givd aneeboddee a straygt ansr." --Peter S. Beagle