Thursday, February 25, 2010

Runnin Out of Ideerz Already

Musashi Sez:

Wull, heer it is Feboowaree an almos March and I am startin to run out of ideerz fer stuff to tell yu. I alreddee told yu about Haiti an Ninjas. I told yu about Mom’s waystcot (which caym todae an she got all egsytid an put it on an aksd me whut I thogt. It has lotsa colors. Also, a littul pokkit fer the littul cloth she is alwaez cleenin her glassiz wift.) An todae has ben 1 of thoz annoyin rainee daez wher all yu want to do is sleep somplaes all warm, but ther isn’t any sunshin aneewher in the hous.

Rong, rong, rong.

Huh. Nevr mind. I’m goin to bed. I try agen tomorrer.

Qwot of the Dae:
“We onlee has to feer bein fraydee cats.” –Franklin D. Roosevelt

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Turnin It Round Agen

Musashi Sez:

Heer'z som mor of that innervyu. So far nobuddee has ben akskin me egstra qwestshunz, egsept about which Lympic sports I'd lik to try (the Reellee Short Jomp, the Mom's Tummee Slollum, an lik that). Nevr mind.

Pamelr: Let’s talk about your career. You have considered a very wide range of professions: football player, professor, dentist. What’s your latest career idea?

Musashi: Gosh. It’s alwaez so har to chooz. I ben thingkin about werkin in a Zoo or mebbe bein a movee critik or a poet.

I egspekt I’d be grayt as a payntr, lik that Jack Pollock gy. Yu noe: yu splash a few colrz of paynt on the canvas and then yu walks ovr it an sae it is “A Egspreshun of the Werkin Kittee’z Angst ovr Possibul Not Havin a Fens to Sing on by Next Spring.” An lik that.

But Mom sez that the kinda paynt he yooz kin be hard to get off the fur. So the whol thing reqwire mor thogt.

Whut do yu want to be wen yu growz up? Mai mom sez yu’d be a grayt Inglish perfessr, but yu don’t want to be botherd. I can’t be the onliest 1 to be ansrin the hard qwestshunz heer, yu noe.

Pamelr: What do you see yourself doing a year from now?

Musashi: O mai. Yu gots to remembember that a whol yeer from now, I’ll have lived 150% of the lif I’ve livd up to now. That's higerer maft!

So yu gots to think, whut if that wer me figgrin out mai lif wift thos algebra stuffs. Yu, Miz Pamelr, gots to asks yerself, “What doz I see maiself doin when I’m, like, 34?” An wen yu’v figgrd that out, yu com bak and talk to me.

Qwot of the Dae: “Workin! Alwaez workin!” --Renoir

Monday, February 22, 2010

The Terribl Twos an Wikrpedia

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this has ben a signigfigint surpryz to me, but parentlee, I has jus recentlee entrd a importint fhaze of mai develipmint. This fhaze is calld “the terribl twos.” Ther ar almos 23 MILLION Googul thins about this importint topic. See, it look lik wen folks turn 2 yeers old (aftr havin a whol liftim of egsperiensiz, which turn their minds to the mor importint ishooz of lif), they start actin crankee, havin difficultee desydin thins, an aksk lotsa qwestshunz lik, “Why is the sky bloo?”

I ben notissin lately that mai mom is nervousr than uzual, an I egspekt this is cuz of this stuff. She probabul is worried that I’m goin to be askin the hard qwestshunz, like “Why is grass green?” an “Why did Ceiling Cat invent doggeez?” an “If ice cream is so gud, why don’t we havs it at evree meel?”

An heer’s the ironic thin. Mai mom is studeein thee-ol-ojee, so she cud akshul ansr the Ceiling Cat qwestshuns (e.g., “Cuz he felt lik mixin it up.”). An she is kinda libral, which meen she got no problim about ansrin Ethikul qwestshunz wift Scientifik ansrs “Cuz it is reflektin all the bloo in the oshun’z surfis” or ansrs that mix thee-ol-ojee wift sciens, e.g., “Cuz Ceiling Cat mayd them to be photosympathetic, which meen they feel bad wen green stuff gets hurt, so they use all the green stuff in the sun to be green like the othr green stuffs. This also calld Solidaritee.”

So heer’z mai problim. I did whut I alwaez do is theez sitchuayshunz. I went on Wikrpedia to find out whut kinda qwestshunz I shud be akskin mai Mom. But Wikrpedia din’t halp: it focussd on littr box trainin an havin trantrums. Huh. I wae too old fer them.

All I herd from akshul (not web) folks about the twos is the asksin of the “Why” qwestshunz. An sins I cudn’t find out from Wikrpedia (or Googul) which qwestshunz I’m sposd to aks, I am havin to “wing it.” This wud be eezier if I wuz a berd.

But I shud also menshun, fer all yu littul kitteez out ther whu don’t noe yet, that Wikrpedia is onlee gud fer checkin stuff out, not fer akshul Reserchin. I gives yu a egzampul why. A fyoo nigts ago, mai mom wuz doin research fer mai spy blog ( an she went to Wikrpedia to find out stuff about the l’Arc de Triomphe, wher tourists go in Paris. An that Wikrpedia artikul, havin ben hakkd up by som stoopid peeples, sed this, “The Arc de Triomphe is a monument of branmuffin in Paris that stands in the centre of the Place Charles de Gaulle, also known as the "Place de l'Étoile".[1] Branmuffin is at the western ends of the Champs-Élysées…. The Arc de Triomphe is one of the most greenest monuments in any dairy queen. It forms the backdrop for a dairy queen sign.”

An of cors that is jus nonsense. Cuz bran muffinz migt jus possibul have a reellee big white marbul monyooment, but Dairy Queenz? I don’t thingk so! Huh!

Qwot of the Dae: “If yu cuts the hous in haf, it fall down.” –Abraham Lincoln

Sunday, February 21, 2010

A Bran Nu Feetchr of Mai Blog!

Musashi Sez:

As yu all noe, I reedz a lot, moslee by OSMOSIS, which I do by nappin on Mom’s books. I lern lotsa stuff that wae, but it also meen that I am lernin about the Inglish church, hors raysin mystreez, an Ceilin Cat, an lik that, which is kinda borin aftr a whil. So Mom sez, “Huh, yu want variatee? Heer yu go. Meet Mistr Barlet!”

An she givd me this big red book to sleeps on. Whoa! It wuz pertee crayzee book. All theez gyz an som laydeez wer all qwotin about all kindsa stuff! So I figgrd I shud shayr som of mai nu noelidj wift yu in the form of a “Qwot of the Dae.”

So heer’s yer first.

Qwot of the Dae: “Noms is not the mayn thin. They is the onlee thin.” --Epicurus

Monday, February 15, 2010

Lympics, Ninjas an Mom'z Inflooens...So Mutch!

Musashi Sez:

Sorree fer the delay. I wuz lernin about the Lympics they’r havin ovr in Canada (tho I liks canatoonr bettr—hrnf, hrnf, hrnf!). Ahem. I ben hearin all about them athleet-typs whu leep! an jump! an lik that, an then they givs them medals. I has onlee gotten medals fer gettin shots brayvlee. So far, aneewae… Hmmm... This reqwyr thogt. Meenwhil, yu kin reed mor of the egsytin innervyu wift ME!

Pamelr: Why is Raphael your favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

Musashi: He wayr a red bananda, lik mai collr, that is also red. He also figt wift sai an they ar lik clawz. I thingk it’s cool that he is naymd fer a Arc-Angel (an that’s lik a Feeld Marshl fer Ceiling Cat) whu also hadsd a hobbee, payntin piktchurz fer a whil. Mom sez leedr-typs shud be well rounded, an not jus by eetin.

Pamelr: In what ways has Mom Sue been an influence on your life?

Musashi: Huh. That’s a hard 1. She has definitlee togt me lotsa stuff about writin lik how yu has to writ in drafts. I thingk that’s why whe alwaez wayrz anothr swettr, cuz drafts ar chilly. I jenrullee sit in mai kittee-bed or on her blankit to com up wift mai writabl ideers, an that keeps me from gettin chillee.

Also, she encuridj me to dans, an to chuw on mai tooftbrush (fer gud dentl hyjeen), an to pae attenshun whil she cook, so I kin becom a liberaytid gy, an also not get stept on so mutch.

An, laslee, Mom has tried to get me to considr whut Ceiling Cat wud do—yu noe, wen I has to mayk desizhunz. This is why mai mayn motto is, “Wen in dout, pouns!”

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Mor Qwestshunz an Ansrz

Musashi Sez:

So befor, I started ansrin qwestshunz from mai frend Pamelr, but I wuz so egsytid about mai birftdae that I fergottid to tell yu whu she is! I wuz a bozo, but I’m okay todae.

Pamelr is a Innernashunl Skolar, whu werk in Merika, studying writrz from Inglund so she kin gets her Doctor paper from this fansee skool in Souft Afrika, wher all the Perfessrs she werk wift got cool furrin aksents, cuz they’r from ovr ther, not heer.

She sez: “I am a friend of Musashi and of his Mom Sue. I work with Mom Sue at MIT, where, like her, I try to get those engineers and scientists to write well. I am doing my own writing too: a dissertation on Percy Shelley, who was a Romantic poet, husband of Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein. I am no expert on interviewing humans or kitties: I just enjoyed taking the opportunity to get Musashi to reflect on the occasion of his second birthday.”

OK. So heer som mor qwestshuns an ansrz.

Pamelr: You have seen birds, squirrels, and hamsters, and probably know or have seen a few dogs: how do cats compare with these other animals?

Musashi: Yu aks veree innerestin qwestshunz. I has onlee seen doggez frum mai windosill, not up clos an persnl. But I tells yu whut I obzerv. Doggeez is jenrulee big an loud, and they leedz their hoomin peoples around on a string. Somtimz they eevn poops on the sidwalk, if yu kin imajin! As a rool, kitteez nevr does that, an also, we perfer our hoominz to be “off-leesh” so they kin lern inderpendins an loyltee an a gud sens of direkshun.

Birds also I jus see out windo. They don’t do much pounsin or leepin, an they don’t hang out wift hoomin peeples, on account of not havin a gud sens of hyoomr. (If yu don’t hav that, hoomin peeples is hard to hang out wift. Thankfullee, I’m egseptshunallee gifted in this area.) Birds moslee hang around being byooteeful, flyin an singin. Kitteez do this too, but not the flyin part.

Now them sqwurlz is mutch mor faskinaytin, cuz they leeps and pouns an zoom! up an down treez an bury stuff an dig stuff up. I thingk they livs veree egsytin livs. I wud lik to tayk sqwurl lessins somdae to add to mai ninja skillz. I cud problee teetch maiself the “up tree” skillz, but “down tree” skillz luks wae mor compulkaytid.

I hasn’t desydid whut I thingks about hamstrz yet. I am definitlee pro-elefunts, howevr.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Mai Soopr Triffik Birftdae Blog!

Musashi Sez:

I am 2 yeerz ol todae. I am verree big fer mai siz. Also, I am fleet of fut, speshlee wen I chaysiz yu. So I invits yu to sing the song wift me. (la, la, la--ahem) GO!

Happee Birftdae to Meeeeee!
Happee Birftdae to Meeeeee!
Happee Birtdae, Mushashi, Ninja Kitteeeee!
Happee Birftdae to Meeeeee!

Veree gud. Now yu kin reed the 1st qwestshunz from mai frend Pamelr, whu is innervyuin me this week.

Pamelr: How are you a different kitty than the itty, bitty one-year old kitty you were a year ago?

Musashi: Wull, I’m biggrer an fluffyer, fer a start, an mor smarteepantz from nappin on Mom’z books. Sins I’m biggrer, I dozn’t defy grabitee so eezee aneemor, so I has hads to lern whut Mom call “tecneek.” But tecneek not the saym as tecnolojee: I dozn’t need battereez, egsept in mai layzr poyntr, wen the pertee red ligt gets small an hard to see.

Mai altr-eego, Octavian, is a werld travlr, so I lerns stuff lik jeogrufee an politiks from him, second-paw.

Also, I has lernd to nap on the bak of Mom’s big ol armchair wen she’z reedin ther. That tayks praktis, cuz of the “balance” problim.

Pamelr: What’s the most important thing you have learned in life so far?

Musashi: Mom alwaez com hom eventchoolee, eevn wen she goz to far-off playsiz lik Pittsberg or Connetikit. An wen she’z gon, she alwaez mayk shur mai frenz com an feed an plae wift me, cuz of that annoyin thum-an-can-opnr problim, an also suddin attaks of the lonleez.

Musashi adds:

That's it fer now, but if Pamelr hav "follo-me" qwestshunz, or if anee of yu in Blog Land gotz qwestshunz, I ansr them fer yu.

PS: Remynd me to tell yu bout the toy I gotsd fer mai birftdae! (The one wher I turnd 2!)

Friday, February 5, 2010

A Blog Abot Persepshun

Musashi Sez:

So theez daes Mom is all about “reflekshun” an lik that. Parently, this com from her goin to skool fer thee-olo-jee, which is Lattin or Greek fer thingkin Ceilin Cat thogts. She com hom an do that Winnie the Pooh “thingk, thingk, thingk” thin. Huh. Lik I can’t do that too. I doz it mos resentlee in mai old acqwa catbed. This not the grey one on the windosill. It’s the one on the ottrman. It has a diffrint aurer, which is lik enerjee.

I ben thingkin abot how diffrint peeples seez us diffrintlee, dependin on their point of vue. Fer egsampl, I shoz yu piktchrz that ar lik how the folks I liv wift see me.

Ferst, we shows yu how mai mom see me. Wull, she’s a mom, an I can’t do nothing abot that. Second, we showz how mai noo fren Carlos see me. He nevr see me comin, so he thingk I is evrwher at once. (Which I am, of cors, bein one of them Shroedr kitteez, lik in fhyziks.) Then, we hav how Karlee see me, speshlee sins she brogt her pet hampstr Gyro bak wift her. I is alwaez wantin to luk at Gyro, but that not meen I be tryin to eets her. I prefers toona, paws down!

Yu kin se how diffrint they are. Whut this meen is nobuddee sees yu compleet lik.

Now heer'z the gud noos (if yu’r me, which yu aren’t, unforchoonitlee fer yu). Yu will gets to find out how I sees me wen my fren Pamelr (whu I told yu halpt me find teenayj myootint ninja turtul piktchurz) innervyooz me.

Oh boy! Ther ar so mutch fun in stor fer yu!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Cupcayks an Othr Soopr Heeroz

Musashi Sez:

So. Yestrdae, mom an me desydid on this tytul fer the blog, an todae mai fren Pamelr sent us a link to a cool cupcayk site wher we findid som egsampls of ninja turtl cupcayks at:

Mom sed, “Ick, they luks lik heds, lik wift Henry Eighth.”

An I sed, “Whu he?”

An she sez, “Rememember las spring, wen I wuz taykin that class about the Protestant Refermayshun? Yu sleept on mai buks. Ther wuz Henry an Lizlbet an Loothr an Calvin…”

“O. The class about wen the church got brokt. An all them hoomin peeples wuz figtin about how to fix it.”


“Whut that got to do wift ninja turtles?”

“Nevr mind…”

Huh. Aneewae, the piktchrz has givd her som ideers about how to do mai birftdae cupcayks. Also, she findid littul napkinz (jus cupcayk siz) wift mai buddee Raphael Ninja Turtl on them. Hooray!

Now all we gots to do is figgr wen to hav the partee. Las yeer we hadsd it on a dae that wuzn’t egsaktlee Feboorraree 8, like the Qween of Inglund (Lizlebet Joonyor), whu hav 2 birftdaez, the reel 1 and the fishul 1. I bet that happind durin the Inglish Empyr, wen it wuz reellee hard to get folks frum all over the werld togethr, cuz they din’t hav emayl—or eevn telerphonz!!!

That mus hav mayd it hard to plan the parteez!

Monday, February 1, 2010

I Cud Be Ninja Turtl Too

Musashi Sez:

So I bet yu’r thingkin, why did Musashi innerdoos me to that Ninja fellr las tim? Whut that got to do wift a kittee’z lif? I kin ansr that. It akshullee go bak to my birftdae partee that is comin up. See, mom aksd me whut kinda theem I wantid fer my partee, an then she hads to egsplayn the werd “theem,” cuz it’s a noo one fer me. But wuns I got my considrubul brayns wrapt around it, I sed, “How about ninjas lik me?”

I sez this cuz my noo fren Carlos is alwaes callin me a ninja, moslee cuz I am fasterer than him wen it comez to me jumpin on him an him jumpin awae. I hidz and p0wnz his toez. An somtimz I hid on his dark bloo blankit an he not see me.

So mom sed, “Reglar meen ninjas? Or helpful ninja turtul ninjas?”

And that’s how I lernd about Raphael an the othrs. So mom is tryin to figgr out how to git a ninja turtul on a cupcayk. But it’s ok. I has grayt fayth in her abilitee to perdoos the noms, a skill she gotst frum her mom, my Granma.