Sunday, January 31, 2010
First I tells yu a jok I mayd up. See Mom wuz complaynin wen I descrybd her waystcot as bein plad. An she got all stuffee an sed, “Huh! It’s not plaid. It’s tartan!” An I sed, “That’s cuz all thoz Scottish gyz is all tartid up!” Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!
But annewae, I want to innerdoos yu to a reellee grayt buncha gyz, the Teenayj Ninja Myootint Turtlz. I shows yu a piktchur of Raphael, my favrit, whu wayr the red bananda an whu figt wift theez funnee Japaneez sai, which are sorta like claws if yu don’t hav anee yerself.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thangk yu to all of yu foks whu donaytid tim an/or monee to halp the por kitteez an doggeez an othr aminalz in Haiti. If yu has not yet sent som of yer pockit monee to halp teh aminal peeples in erthqwayk-struck Haiti (whu has not eevn got pockits, mutch less monee, if yu kin imajin it!), ther is still tim!!! If yu dozn't want to go thru Googul or one of them yoosful sitz, yu kin halp direktlee thru the Humayn Sosietee (www.humanesociety.org) or a mor innernashunnul sit like www.ifaw.org, the innernashunnul federayshun of aminal welfayr. Do it now! Reed mai blog when yu comz bak!
La la la. Hmm, hmmmmm, hmty hmty hmm. La. Lalalal. Purrrrrrr.
Okay. So. Yu bak now? Exsullunt!!!
So I wuz jus watchin mai Mom as she wuz surfin the innerwebs, cuz it is alwaez innerestin to watch the flikkerin on that screen. An the moussee blinkr is reellee grayt!!!
Anneewae, mom jus bogt herself a vest, which is a fayrlee borin werd, an I told her so, an she sed that her buddeez (in a lineage/literaree senz) Mistr Tolkin an Mistr Looiss wud hav calld her vest a “waystcot” or somthin lik that. An I'm thingkin they migt hav approovd of her choys of fur/pattern/colr, cuz she choozd a "clan tartan" that is lik if yer grandma wuz callico, yu chooziz a callico waystcot to wer so yu looks lik her.
I lernd about "tartan" last week-end. We watchd a moovie that wuz a "spoof" an that meenz it wuz maykin fun of anothr moovie. This one wuz Casino Royale, an that's the saym naym as two othr moovies that are seeryus. But I likd this one bettrer, cuz it had Scottish pipers an coyboyz an Indians an a Spayship Flyin Saucer an a French Forren Leejyunayr. An som othr stuff, lik nookleer bomz an Eest Berlin. But whut I most notisst wuz them Scottish gyz cuz they wer werrin skirts and beetin fokz up an also maykin funnee noyzis wift their "bag Pyps." An mom wuz lookin at wastcots that wer lik theez gyz's skirts.
Yu cudn't call somthin lik that a "vest." Huh. This "waystcot" sounz much mor egspensiv to me. An also lik ther wud be mor “wool” in it. (Mom has toldid me about sheeps. I wuz veree impresst. It maydid me thingk that I shud charj her fer all that fur she brushiz outa me. She sez that she givz the furballz to her frendz whu is havin trubblz wift akshul mousseez,* like Jeff an Jennr. But I keep thingkin that, at, say, 25 cents per furball, I cud mayk almos a whol dollr a week!!! So in a monft or two or three, I cud be ritch! In a yeer, I cud be “rollin!”)
An then I cud buy my mom a whol buntch of veststs (or, possiblul, waystcots).
An this is mai big unconnektid "seg-way."
Watch this spays fer infrmayshun about my Big Sekund Birftdae Selebrayshun!!! Cuz eevn if yu is not comin to the partee, yu wul want to be abl to vot fer the kinda cupcayk we has, an mebbe dekerayshunz, an lik that!!!
Yu dozn't thingk I kin do this all by maiself, do yu?
*Akshul mousseez is diffrint from catnip mousseez. Akshul mousseez run aroun eevn when yer mom isn't hom wift yu!!! An they somtimz eets yer noms! They are reellee bad! That's why we all praktis on them catnip mousseez: so that when the akshul onez com, we ar reddee to pouns! their bums! Huh!
Friday, January 22, 2010
As yu migt noe, ther wuz an earftqwayk on this littul iyland calld Hayti las week, an lotsa peeplz now dozn’t got homz. Som of theez peeplz is hoomin peeplz an som is kittee an doggee peeplz. So I tells yu what the Innernashunl Federayshun of Aminal Welfayr is doin down ther. I got this from their website, http://www.ifaw.org. Send them monee lik mom did.
Haiti Emergency Relief Response
IFAW is mounting an emergency animal relief mission in response to the devastating earthquake in Haiti. We’re partnering with WSPA (World Society for the Protection of Animals) to lead animal welfare groups in a coordinated response called the Animal Relief Coalition of Haiti.
Haiti’s capital of Port-au-Prince has been decimated, and many people have perished and been seriously injured. Many animals are also suffering, so our team is in the Dominican Republican preparing a mobile veterinary clinic.
We need to stock our mobile clinic with medicine, syringes, bandages, food, and other supplies. Once the human relief efforts have taken hold and security is in place – and depending on the needs we find on the ground, our team will deploy and begin their lifesaving work.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
My ol frend Karli caym bak to liv wift us an she brogt her “pet” hampstr, whu’z naym is Gyro. I lukt up Gyro on the Guugl an it is a kinda samwich, but she dozn’t luk lik a samwich. She luk like a whit moussee wift other colrz on her. She has her own fansee plastik manshun that she liv in. I kin watch her all dae if Karli let me. Mostlee she (Karli, I meen) dozn’t let me.
Aneewae, I asksd Mom whut “pet” meen, an she sed it meen “companyun aminal.” So I aksd her if she wuz my pet and she got a funnee luk on an sed, “Sorta.”
Huh. Yu’d thingk she’d noe by now. We ben livin togethr fer lik a yeer an a haf, an that’s ferevr. But I gess she’s a littul sloe.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Well! If yu thogt a doggee Car’l wuz egsytin, whut I got fer yu todae is eevn bettrer: This 1 is a song yu thingk yu knoes, jus lik that las 1, but is diffrunt. Part of that is the havin lostid the notbook wift the orijinul leeriks. The corus is historikul, but I hadsd to mayk up the versiz agen.
Jingul ballz, jingul ballz,
Playin wift mai toyz!
O, whut fun it is to play
wift the onez that mayk som noiz! Hey!
Playin wift mai toyz
Maykin mousseez run,
Pounsin on mai mom
An the ottrman!
I chays the ball-wift-bell.
It alwaez gets awae!
An so I chays my Mom-Sue’z toez,
I kin do that all dae! Hey!
(repeet corus heer, wift gusto)
Mom keep sayin that the old verzhun was betterer, but sins we kan't find that notbook, it not happenin this yeer. Mebbe nex yeer. This wud be somthin fer yu all to look forerd to. Merry Krismus, Happee Noo Yeer, an Happy E-Pifannee!
Monday, January 4, 2010
OK! So I gots that last Christmus car'l from mai Onkul Ben, whu is a doggee (profeshunallee!) But I also has som from mai own egsperyens as a kittee. But mai mom has ben havin a hard tim findin her notbook wher we wrotid them down. So yu has to be payshunt. Mom sez this is a vertchoo.
But in the meentim, if yu has a fayvrit hoomin peeples car'l that yu wud lik to noe about how it caym frum the orijinul aminal car'l, yu jus let me noe, an I will resertch it fer yu.
Cuz that's the kinda gy I am.