Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wull, this week has ben the Ferts Dae of Spring, wift all them flowrz and birdeez an the noo "warm" thin lik what we did last yeer. Mom has the crankee about the warm cuz she sez them icy glayshrz ar meltin verree fast. I purrz loud to gets her mind orf it, an if that not werk, I run! verree fast! across the partmint! Somtim she chays me, so that boft givz her lotsa helthee egzersizement an also get her mind orf bad things.
Don't yu wish I livd wift yu?
Admitlee, ther is the Depooprayshun that mom has to do fer me, but hey, that's egzersizmint too--Deep Nee Benz, or mebbee The Benz, I fergits. Also, ther is the yogr postchur mom does when she clip mai toenailz, lik she wrap one leg aroun me an holds me wift one hand whil she yooz the Eevl Clipprz of Deth wift the othr one. It not egzactly a half Nelson, more like a three-quartr Nelson.
The byootee of all this egzersizmint, eevn the noying kind wher my toenailz (WHICH WER PERFICTLY FIN BEFOR!!!) gets shortr, is that Mom fergits about globular climit chaynj an somtimz remembrers to givs me a treet fer eetch foot. An yu noe, evrdae we gettin stronger an mor smartypants an mor redier for the Lympics.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wull, the top of the morning stuff to yu. So we has hads the egsytmint theez las fyu dayz. The plummr caymd to fix the toylet an he figgrd out that the kitchin sink wuz not gud an mai roommayt toldid him about the baftroom sink problim, which he caymd bak to fix fer us. Now moslee stuff werks agen, altho I don’t unnderstan why I has to be IMPRIZND in MAI ROOM fer lik 2 WHOL DAEZ. Huh.
Ok, I’m dun. Now I’m goin to go bak to mai fiers leprokon hunt in the kitchin. If I catch one it is a win-win-win, cuz I’ll have somthin to plae wift an choo on, an I kin leev it on Mom’s bed fer her to find lik a prezunt, an also ther maybe gold, which I heer is a verree yoosful thing to has.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wull, I has been suspishful of the Ovn fer quit a whil now. Somtim it mayk noiziz or has teh smellz that I not qwiet trust. So I has ben keeping track of it. Yu noe. I has scruncht belo the stool watchin! the ovn verree cayrfullee. Or, if I thinks that too overt, I has been lyin on the telrphon tabul thin, wift the stool next to it, an I has wacht from abov. An somtimz, when I verree weeeree frum all that watchin, I nod off on the stool from abov, but I am REDDEEE fer whutever com, and I will PONS! on it if I has to.
Mom approovz of this. She sez I am the Gardien of the Kitchin! (Somtimz she say I is SleepeeBunnee, but mostly I ignorz that. Huh.)
Mom sez soonr or laytr the landlord is goin to bring in the extreeminaytr, whu comz to extreme whutevr myciz we gots evr 6 monfts or so. So I shudn’t worree too mutch.
Meenwhil, she suddinlee reelyz that she gots to get a paypr perpozul into a confrens thin an so wuns agen she is scramblin. Yu’d think wift all this praktis she gots wift teetchin them kidz not to scrambul their writin that she’d noe not to do this hersalf, but no. Sigh.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Wull, coller mai eerz pink! Aftr four solid weeks of perpayrin fer Leep Dae! by runnin! verree fast! across the parmint! an in an out of boxiz!, I went an slept rigt throo it, neerlee all dae. Huh.
Mom sez this a verree commin mistayk calld “Ovr-Traynin,” an athletes lik me has to be cayrful about it. She sez that’s why marathon runnrz tayk days off befor they run down the street in Aprul. Also, parintlee, there something about psaghetti too, tho I not see how eetin noodulz will help you run bettrer.
Anneewae, I tayk all this undr advys fer mai perpayrin fer the Lympics that are comin up, it bein an eevn yeer.
I noe I can’t beet the Japineez teem at Box Jumpin, cuz they totallee rocks that sport, ther bein a lot less spayce in Japan than ther is heer. Also, their most faymussest athleet, the Scottish-Fold Round-Belly Kitteh named Maru is lik the TigerWoods-MiaHamm-CarlosCastenada of Box Jumpin. So altho Mom gottid me a big box to practis in, I hav been focussin more on them horizontul sports, rathr than them vertikul onez.
Also, I am accidentallee well-restid. Huh.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Wull, this last week or 2 hav been a verree bizzee tim an no mistayk, altho it hav been diffruntlee bizzee dependin on whu yu talks to. Mom has been typin, tappittee-tap. I, on the othr paw, has been leepin! jumpin! raycin across the partmint! climbin fil cabinuts, an also nappin in verree athletik wayz.
All of this is me, Musashi the Athleet, perpayrin fer the Lympiks, which natcherullee start on Leep! Dae, which ar todae, Febrooayree 29th, a day that don’t come evr yeer, mutch less evr dae. Huh.
Also Mom mostlee finished her theesis. I halped wift the Bibbulogogrophee, which is mor compulkaytid than yu’d lik to thingk. But it all done now, in part cuz I JUMPT up on Mom’s desk whil she wuz werkin on it.
This wuz one of them Motivayshunul Jumps.
Yah. Is a derty job, but I kin always lik off afterwerdz.