Monday, March 30, 2009

Mor Srs Talkin About Weddins

Musashi Sez:

OK, sorree. That nappin went on longerer than I had ben plannin. I wuz spost to be tellin yu about weddins. I kin do that.

See weddins is differkult becuz ther is lotsa flowurz, an lotsa peeples, an lotsa fud. But it’s the peeple part that is the most hardest. Wift hoomin peeples, fer egzampul, yu gots to figger out if yer Ont Bertha kin sit neer yer Ont Helga, whu she hav not ben gettin along wift fer yeers. An mom sez ther kin be hol ishews about whethr yur dad’s 3rd wyf’s brothr kin sit nex to Ont Bertha becuz she don’t “beleev in divors.”

Well, wift kittees, is jus as hard, cuz ther is the hol litter problim. No, I don’t meen the kittee litter, lyk yer own pryvit box in the kornr. I meen lyk if that ol Ont Helga had 3 or 4 litters of kittees, an yer Onkul Olaf an yer Onkul Panthar and yer Onkul Spot don’t lyk to talk about it. That’s whut I call problims.

An, no, kittees don’t striklee speekin hav weddins. But famlees is famlees. An a famlee kin alwaes find enugf stuff to yowl about until somboddee throw a shoo ovr the fens.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Watchin the Burds Watchin fer Spring

Musashi Sez:

OK, peeples, yu got to lissen up. Rigt now is Martch, almos Ayprul, and that meens it’s spring. I don’t cleerly rememember my firs spring, cuz I wuz jus a littul kittee. But mom sez spring bring burds, an then flowurs, an then weddins. Now I know about the burds, cuz I hav ben watchin them out the front windo, an out Karli’s windo, an out Raychul’s windo, an somtims out the kitchin windo too. Moslee, we got Chikadees an Grakkuls. In the sky, we got Pidguns and Seegulls. Yu kin tell I ben becomin a burd watcherer. I aksd mom fer them binonkulars to look through, but she say they don’t com in sutch a small syz. Well, that is cleerlee a cays of predjoodis, if I evr herd one. Huh.

I havn’t seen mutch flowurs yet. An the weddin seezon isn’t qwyt here yet. But it’s comin. Mom sez weddin seezons is trikkee, cuz they’r lyk the oppozit of spring. Insted of comin slowerer then yu thingk, they com faster. See? Trikkee.

Now, yu probabul sayin, “Musashi, why yu carin about weddins? Yu’r a kittee. An aneewae, yu wae too yung to be thingkin about weddins.” That’s tru. But I got frends, an they’r the ones whu ar goin to be marreein eetch othr. So this blog is goin to be an advertyzmint. Sorta.

No! Wayt! It is a Publik Serviss Anounsmint. Huh.

But I need to be nappin now, cuz this blog-wrytin thin is egzaustin. I tell yu mor tomorro.

Mom Adds:

While you're waiting, we recommend these websites:

Monday, March 23, 2009

About the Comin of Spring, an also Bedooins

Musashi Sez:

All the hoomin peeples in mai lyf is talkin about how they wish spring wud be comin fasterer. Huh. As if hot wethr is bettr than cold wethr. That jus sillee. The hol middul of the wurld, that has that belt-thin calld “eekwaytor” has got hot. So why we need it? It’s bizzee bein down ther.

But hoomin peeples don’t mutch thingk, neer as I kin figger. So they ar alwaes wantin chaynje. An I sez, don’t be sillee. Lern to liv wift what yu got. Unless yu gots to eet the saym crunchee fud dae in an dae out. Then, yah, complayn a littul. But that is an egsepshun. Meenwhyl, I been lookin on the Interwebs to find out about whu akshul liv in hot playsiz all the tim. An what I fynded is interestin. So pae attenshun. Yu migt lern somthin.

I fynded out about this pryd of hoomin peeples calld “BEDOUINS.” They’r prettee cool cuz they wer blak all the tim eevn tho they liv in the desert. That’s a hot sandee plays, lik if yer littr box wer puttd in the ovn.

Yah. Egsaktlee. So we shud probabul respekt them. Cuz that soun reellee bad.

But, if yu beleevs Wikerpeedia, then the Bed-oo-inz ar NOMADS, that meen that they wandr aroun the desert, livin in canvas tents, tryin to fynd the bestest playsiz to liv fer a whyl, so their goats kin eet grass an dringk wadder an get biggerer. Then them bedooinz kin sell the goats or eet them. Is akshul mutch mor compulkaytd than that, but I figger yu littul kittees out ther wudn’t beleev me if I told yu mor.

OK, I tell yu jus a bit mor. See, ther ar CAMELS an they ar lik deer or mebbee horses, so they run reellee fast and don’t hav to dringk a hol lot of wadder. An they’r reellee strong. An also they somtims spit and wors, they somtims byt! But them bedooinz ar perty feers, so wen they ask the camels to go somplays, they goes, prettee fast. Spittin an gruntin, saym as the res of us migt do, but, oh yeah, they goes!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Thingkin about Langwudj, Part 2

Musashi Sez:

OK! I noe that mos of yu don’t intrest in langwudj unless somboddy tell yu how it help yu or mebbe hurt yu. (I lern this from mai mom whu is a wrytin perfessr, that is lik thingkin perfessr, egsept mor on payper.) Anywae, las week, I tell yu about mai frend Cerceelya, whu noe lots about langwudj and why it happn, an how she’s helping me figger out hoomin peeple Inglish and also kittee peeple Inglish. Is not so eezee as yu migt thingk.

Cerceelya sed, “As you mentioned, Musashi, when you write, you are spelling by sound and not by history. So, you are actually experimenting with a kind of spelling reform. If you want, you can tell Sue and her friends that this is your academic experiment with phonetically accurate spelling and that if they can't hack it, then maybe they need to take another class.”

Huh. I am eksperimentin. So ther.

“And now the history: Each and every attempt at language-wide spelling reform in English has failed miserably, beginning with the profusion of recommended rules and new alphabets in the 16th century and continuing to some rather harebrained modern schemes like NuSpel, ALC Fonetic, and Simplified Spelling. What all those failed reformers forget is that any one of these schemes renders hundreds of years of literature and other information irretrievable in less that a generation. They also seem to forget that English has repeatedly proven itself to be flexible, robust, innovative, and tolerant of oddball spelling. … Of all of the potential reformers, Webster can be considered fairly successful because he got us to drop the ‘u’ in words like ‘color"’ and the ‘k’ in words like ‘magic’--but even he only managed to affect a few words.”

Huh. I lik this ideer of hoomin peeples tryin ovr an ovr agen to get somthin rigt. I lik the wurd “profyoozhun.” That’s a srsly cool wurd. An them reformrs, whu ar jus lik thoz hoomin peeples whu ar maykin mai lif mor diffikult cuz of theyr weerd, old-fashon ideers, is gud that mai frend Cerceelya calls them “faild an forgetful,” cuz if mai mom is rigt (an somtims she is) that mayks them annoyin peeples look bad, an us look gud.

Mos speshullee, I liks her sentins-thin wher she sez: “English has repeatedly proven itself to be flexible, robust, innovative, and tolerant of oddball spelling.” If kittees aren’t flexibul an innovaytiv an robuts, I don’t noe whu ar.

I’m not shur what this “oddball” wurd meen. Cleerlee, it not about me, or othr tipikul kittees. Mebbe it’s fer doggees, whu do count somtims, when we’r talking about lernin thins, speshullee them Germin Shepperds, cuz they lerns stuff reellee fast. Espeshul about ballz they need to find fast, uzhool bai smellin. Not nesasarilee faster than kittees, but still perty fast.

Werk Cytd

Musselman, Cecelia. Email. 22 Feb. 2009. Huh.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Idz of March an Wurld Dominayshun

Musashi Sez:

Way bak in Feboorary, I told yu about how I wuz workin on becomin smartypants lik evryboddy els I noe: mom an mai roommayts, and all their frends. I figger if they all caym to vizit an wor their funnee flat hats wift the cool wigglee tassuls, we wudn’t be abul to fit them all an also I’d be egzaustd from chaysin all the tassuls. So 1 day, mom saw me nappin on a book an she sed, “Musashi! What yu doin sleepin on mai book?”

I sed, “I’m lernin to be smartypants the way Karli does it.”

She mad a funnee noyz an then sed that I cud ask her qwestchuns if I wantd to lern spesifik stuff. So I sed I wuz interstid in somthin I saw a lolcat about, calld “WORLD DOMINATION.”

She mayd noyz agen, but then she sed, “OK. What yu want to lern?”

I sed, “Jus tell me what yu noe.”

So she thingkd fer a whyl, an then she askd if I noe whu Joolyus Seezer wuz.

She told me about this feller whu livd in Rom, verree far away, yeers an yeers ago, lik eevn befor that Jesus feller wuz born. He livd reellee clos to Gypsha, that kuntree I told yu about befor, wher hoomin peeples wershipd kittees. His naym was Joolyus, an they naymd Joolai aftr him cuz he wuz bornd then. I thingk that mayks him a Leo, jus lik mom, an mebbe that’s why she lik him. Also this othr feller, Shaykspeer (whu mom thingks is awsom lik a lion) wryted a plae about this Joolyus feller.

Seems lik this Joolyus got togethr a big armee an martchd them throo Frans and Inglund an took ovr all thos kuntrees, an then went bak hom to Rom an chuckd out the othr fellers whu had ben helpin him, an mayd himself king of evrwher. But the fellers whu didn’t get chuckd out got togethr in the middul of Martch aftr a whyl an they killd Joolyus. (That’s what that feller Shaykspeer wryted about.) So mom sez world dominayshun has its downsid. She sed she’d tell me about this othr feller Alekzandr somtim. But I thingk I’m don wift it fer now.

Mom Reacts:

Gosh, I never expected it would make him lose interest. What a pity for us all…

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Mai Offishul Birftdae Partee!

Musashi Sez:

So las nigt wuz mai amayzin offishul birftdae partee. We had 10 hoomin peeples plus ME! (Lotsa peeple wantd to com, but had to send me "rain cheks," an mom sed she'd egsplayn that laytr.)

So I got som pikchurs fer yu, whu cudn't com. The first 2 aren't about me, reellee, but they happind to be on LOLcats yestrdae, so mom added them. Yu kin tell they'r not me, cuz the kittee is orinje, not blak.

OK. So I jus giv yu buntch of pikchurs now, cuz I'm still egzawstd. That stayin up to midnigt if fer the burds.

Happee birftdae to meeeeee!

PS: The cayk has a pikchur like me an som math, cuz I askd mom to put math on it, sins I do lichrachur anywae. So she put this ALGEBRA on it: M = 1, cuz I am 1 yeer old.

PPS: Also, mom sez it wuz a "soosay foo," and that's whut French hoomins call a "mad suksess" cuz they don't know Inglish but they do noe about mad huntin skills an lik that.

PPPS: In that last pikchur is mom holdin me, and nex to her his Lizzlbet, whu helpd wift the cayk, and behind her is Lorenvan whu is afrayd of kittees but caym anywae an also helpd wift the cayk, cuz she's jus that kool.

An, Oh Yeah: These kool pikchurs wer takind bai mai cuzzin Raychul. Thangkyu, Raychul.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Thingkin About Langwudj, Part I

Musashi Sez:

This goin to be a speshul blog cuz it’s about langwudj (an mebbe it last all munth, wift spayses fer othr stuff in between). Now lotsa hoomin peeples onlee wryt to me on the kapyuter to tell me how bad mai spellin is. I ben thingkin about this fer a whyl: yu noe, paysin aroun an stuff. Mom sez that’s calld bein “nervuss” an I gess she’d noe, cuz she’s not a kittee, an so she’s nevr goin to be perfiklee conferdent. But then, eevn mai Grayt-Ont Meridift sed, “He [that’s me, MUSASHI] writes a blog with lots of spelling errors. (Cats don't have the time for spell check. Also, they don't have opposable thumbs.)"

(Mom want me to syt this, but I’ll figger out that akademikul stuff laytr).

Now mai mom teetchz wrytin, an she ben teetchin me how to thingk an spell at the saym tim. She call this CRITICAL THINKING, even if yu’r bein nys to peeples whyl yu do it. So OK. Heer goes.

Mai Grayt-Ont Meridift is perty cool, even if I hasn’t met her yet. Mom thingks she’s a perty awsom wryter. She has this noo blog called "helpmakecents" (an yu kin konnekt to it wae, wae below in the part wher I tell yu about mai kul links). Is a funnee blog that she is wrytin to erns monnee fer her weddin to mai Grayt-Onkul Matt, whu is a kul guy who is alwaes willin to skup yer pup, or that's what mai Onkul Me2 says (an he's a kittee, eevn tho Grayt-Onkul Matt is a hoomin peeple. I has compikaytd fambly, but is mosly werth it.) So okay. Meredift wrytd 3 thins about me. Goin bakwerds, she sed that I don’t has thums, an that’s tru. She sed cats don’t has tim fer the SpellCheck progrim, and that also tru. But then, or akshul, preveeyus, she say that I wryt a blog “wift lots of spellin errers,” an that’s what yu call a “poynt of vyu.” I noe this cuz I askd an egspert. I tell yu about that.

See, mai mom noes lotsa weerd hoomin peeples whu liks to studee weerd stuff, lik langwudj and lichrachur an fhyziks (as oppozd to nootrishun fer kittees or othr normul, praktikul stuff). So a fyu daes ago, I e-mayld mom’s frend Cerceelya. (An fer thoz of yu whu noe about how I met mai mom, it wuz Cerceelya whu sed to mai mom, “Him! This the 1. He’s perty hansom!!!!” So her an me is alreddee frends.)

Mom Explains:

That’s what’s called transparency…

Musashi Goz on Aftr the Inpolyt Innerupshun:

So I wrytd to Cerceelya lik this:

“I am workin on a blog about langwudj an mom sez yu ar an egspert on langwudj…. Here's mai problim. Everboddy complayn about mai spellin, but I'm spellin bai rulz. I'm lisnin to hoomin peeples talkin an I'm wraitin it down lik I heer it. Also, I reed lolcats on a reglar basis. Mom sez ther's somthin calld Orthographic Reform an talks about som guy namd Webstir. Kin yu help me?” (An mom want anuthr of them saitayshuns. Huh.)

Now, if yu ar narro-mind, yu migt not egspekt Cerceelya to wryt bak to (huh) “jus a kittee,” but she liv wift 2 MAINE COON CATS, an 1 of them is lik 3 of the res of us on thos funnee pills football guys tayk. So she anserd reellee fast, lik the saym dae.

She sed: “Well, I appreciate your question and I want you to know that you are actually following in a fine tradition of independent thinkers and spellers. I'll start first with some advice and then we'll get some history. Here's the advice: Usually, it's best to choose the spellings that most humans are used to if you want them to understand what you write. After all, humans are creatures of habit--just like cats.”

Huh. I ben folloin a fyn tradishun. See, now this mayk sens to me. An akshul, I ben sorta folloin this advys sins befor I got it. Fer egsempl.

Mom keep tellin me that som lettrs don’t count as mutch as othrs. There’s lotsa tims when “gh” don’t mayk anee sound at all, an that jus seem sillee. How kin 2 hol lettrs not mayk a sound? OK, mebbe 1 don’t mayk a sound, but don’t the othr 1 eevn jus wisper a littul? So I thingkd about this a lot. An I thingkd, “Hm. That H don’t mayk mutch sound eevn when it’s maykin som sound. So it mosly don’t count. But that G thin happn mosly in yer throt. An also that G, speshul when it’s small, lik ‘g,’ look lik a kittee tail. An they’r well noen fer bein reellee qwyett, an still meenin a lot when they moov. So, OK, I kin figger the G, but that H gotta go.” So the werd mai mom spell "might" that soun like "mig-hit" I simpulfiez so it look rigt to them an also soun rigt to me, an also sensibul peeples.

Hoomin peeples thingks that I spell bad, but akshul, I’m thingkin about spellin almos all the tim. If I’m not jumpin! or pounsin! or runnin! or taykin a nap, is probabul that I’m thingkin about spellin. An suddenlee, I realyz how weerd that is, cuz it mayk me sound lik mai mom… Erg.