Resintlee, I has becom interestid in Merican histry. Turns out, ther has been lots of excitin peoples in the past, an I will tell yu all about them an their funny clothes.
Mom sed that when she was in skool, they allus started wift the Aztecs, the Mayans, an the Inkers, but I not pertiklrlee interested in folks who eat eatch othrs’ hearts out, make arts n’ crafts wift corn husks, or draw tattoos on eetch othr, speshulee if they not eevn liv on our continent mutch.
Instead, I tells yu about the Indyuns who lived in my town. They were called Wampanoags (I not kiddin). An they were stittin around the campfire in the summer of 1620, which is like mor than a hunnert yeerz ago. An one of them sed, “Yu noe, gyz, it have been awful quiet lately. I’m thinkin that we cud yooz som excitemint.”
And another Indyun sez, “Joe! What wer yu thinkin! Now yu noe we’re goin to be jinxed!”
An he wuz rigt, cuz just a littul whil later, these guys in funnee blak hats sailed up an asksed fer directshuns and stayed fer, like, years an years, problee cuz the turkey an cranberries wer so darn tasty.