Thursday, January 30, 2014

Mai Noo Job Oppertooniteez!

Musashi Sez:

So now that all our gests is disappeared bak to the snowy tundrer, I has decided that I need a noo job. I hav been considrin offerz, most spesifikallee the one from Ellen Degeneres about halpin her host the Oscar the Growch Awards in Februarereree. Also, there is a spot gardin Noo York from evil super heroes, or, as Mom call them, Sooper Villenz.

Also, I has thogtid about being a Sooper Villen Maiawk===N Maiself, a.k.a., the CLAWR.

(Sorry. I got all egsytied about halpin Mom typ!!!).

Mom sez if I ar goin to be a Sooper Villen, I has to has a Back Story which Hold the Key to mai Evilness. Huh. Who noo?

If yu has som ideers about how I migtid have gotten to This Sorree Pass, I am open to herein yer ideers. Thank you.

M, the C!!!!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Mor on Yogi Ber

Musashi Sez:

Wull, now I am thinking that Mom has ben getting into all this yoger stuffs becauz of her advanced age. It seem that, in kittee years, she is lik three hunnert something and a half, as of yesterday. If I were that old, I wud try ancient Indian egzersize too!!! Just lik that anermayted feller from her egstreem yooth, Yogi Ber and his friend Booboo (whu is also a bear, but littler, an also somtimes smarterer). When Mom was a hoomin kitten, she watched their TV show a lot, so she thinks he is kinda great. It has just taken like 200 kittee years fer her to akshullee decide to foller the yoger way.

Luckily I am onlee five and a whole lot (not quite six yet). My birftdae is comin up, just in case anee of yu fans want to sends me a present…I quite lik the prezents!

Meanwhile, I has been sittin on the desk whil Mom [trying to] is typin awae at her steampunk novel. I keeps telling her that she shud have a Pointer View character whu is a kittee person, preferabul one whu also has the cool brass Victorian Teknologee. She tell me there will be a kittee, but not in a Pointer View capapsity. Or somthin.

Mostlee, she just hit “save” an then pull up that yogr video and get down on the floor an grunt a lot. Sigh.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Yogi Ber an Stuffs Lik That

Musashi Sez:

So Mom got this yoger video an she was tryin to do the yoger stuffs lik the gy on the video. I gots so innerested that I got down there on the floor wift her to watch up close. She wuz all shakey cuz she is not yoozed to yoozin her muskles like that, an also wift the breethin. If she were a kittee, she wud hav been doin this stuffs since she was veree littul, lik me.

I not noe why she needs a video, since I do that stuffs all the time. I cud teetch her Kittee Yoger. She not need that Yogi Ber gy to demonstrayt the moovs. Huh.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

A Nu Post Cuz I Gots Dsitractulayted...

Musashi Sez:

Wull, life here is interested. Cuz our Russhian roommate has had her parentz visitin fer like a whole four weeks. This, Mom tells me, is odd, cuz heer in Merica, nobodee gets more than one week, a week and a haf, or tops, two weeks of vaykayshun!

And as a ADJUNCT perfesser, she gets two monfts of unemployment, but that is differments.

So she gots theez Russhian parentz of her roommate who hav been heer fer almost 4 weeks, an the feridgiaytor is full of stuffs. (Luckily, my can of fud not tak up too mutch room!) The bigggest problim is that the erfidgiator is full of vegetubbuls an froots an meets an stuffs. Mom open it an look and close it, and then shuffle into our bedroom, mutterin about fishes an house-gests an time, an other stuffs that not make a whol lotta sense to me.

So I has been nappin near her pillo wher her hed goes, and she has been dreamin about funnee peoples moovin our erfidgiator into the baftroom, and moovin the couch wher noo peoples sleep in the kitchun.

Her brain are a wierd playse to be and that is all I kin sae! Huh.

Meanwhile, yu wud think I wud hav learned more Russhin, like, fer exampel, "Musashi, do you noes when yer Syoozin is comink hom? Cuz the kitchin is brokin agen."

But still all I noes is: "Hello, thank-you, comrade, cheers!" and like that. Also mebbe, "Please an thank yu."

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Firstest Sunny Day in a Whil

Musashi Sez:

So natchrallee I sleeped most of the dae an Mom worked on the great Merican novel. Whut did yu gyz do???

Saturday, January 18, 2014

My Attempt at Cookin

Musashi Sez:

Wull, so on Fridae, I was thinkin about how Mom alwaes come home tired an she cooks her fuds, wift the saighin and gruntin, which I figger means, “Why not the fud cook itself fer Me? Huh!”

So I disiderayted to cook fer her. But that not go so gud. See, I not tall enugf to see into the pantree shalf wift her stuffs. An I not allowed to yooz the Stov, cuz it gots too much hots fer a littul gy lik me!!! An the toster oven livs on top of the erfidgiator, wher I kin not reaches it.

So this leevs me wift the nookleaytor/microwayv thin, which has a easy dial that I figger I kin werk, an also, cookin wift it nevr tayk more than one or two minits.

But then I has to figger out what I cooks wift it. An all Mom has got that I kin retch is in the vegetabbul basket. An it onlee got onions (which I am not allowed to tutch, cuz they is BAD fer kitteez!!!) an whit an orinje pertaytoes. But Mom alwaes peels pertaytoes wift the funnee peeler masheen which reqwire posabul thumz, which I has not got.

So I figgered, mebbe it wud be betterer if I jus do a extra amount of purrin wen Mom akshully cook fer herself, an mebbe the purrin will mak her feel like it not taykin quit so long.

Darn them thumz aneewae.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Mor Writin Block

Musashi Sez:

So I has been sittin in my bed thinking about my blog an not comin up wift stuffs. I has looked at my mom’s friends’ blogs about stuff like Indian food an books an pancakes, but they not help me. Mom keeps complainin about how I alwaes walks on her keybord, but I not ALWAYS do that, onlee sometimes, when I am lookin fer inspiration.

At this rate, I may has to send Mom out to nother movie or I’m not goin to hav anything to writ about at all. Sigh.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Desolayshuns of MUSASHI!!!

Musashi Sez:

So Mom wentid out tonigt wift her frend Cindee (whu I has met) to a movie about this little guy, Bilbo Baggins (a hobbit burglar), an his thirteeen Dwarven frends whu needed to tayk back their lonely mountain from this veree scaree DRAGON! They hads to march across lotsa couches an bookshelves to get to there. But this dragon feller, Smog (the Terrible), was waitin fer them!

Now this Smog (the Magnifiscent) feller wuz egzactlee the eevil feller whu had laid waste to their kingdom an all the kingdoms in that genral location (incloodin, but not limited to, Eregion an Laketown an that other place whose name I can't rmembember), cause parently, that is what smogs do.

An it seem lik Smog (the Avaricious) win at the end of this particlar movie, but Mom has pointed out to me that, in fact, this is just two-thrids of the way thru the akshul story, an I shud not get my hopes up about Smog’s eventchool victoryus outcome, because stories lik this don't normallee go so gud fer people lik dragons an other big ol' mean bad guys.

But that’s okay. I figger I kin spend a year playin at bein Smog (the Reellee, Reellee Bad), Destroyer of Nayshunz, until the last movie comes out where they slays him, an then I kin be all, like, "La la la, I’m a steampunk ninja, sillee!"

An Mom keeps mutterin, “Work in progress, work in progress.” Huh.

Friday, January 10, 2014

When the Cold Gets Colderer

 Musashi Sez:

We  tried to send this one out last night, but there wuz whut mom called a Snffoo. Parently, that meenz technologee is actin up again, as usual.

So yesterdae, Mom an me wer werkin wift a apartmint that had heat whut she calls “innermittenly.” You migt think this means that the heat onlee werked from yer rigt front mitten to yer left, an yu wud not be entirelee rong. So she typed a lot whil I ran laps around the apartmint. (I wud hav worn her werkout soot, but it onlee hav 2 legs an they wer boft wae too long fer me.)

Layter, she went to “Werk Out At the Jim (WOAJ)” an she sed she got almost fiftee minits, but laytlee there has not been lots of tylet papr or towlz in the laydeez part of the jim. She says she thinks it is becuz of Girl Noo Yeer Rezolutionaries, of who there are more than thre are Girl Staff. But she says that by Febrooaree or March, that will work out when folks looz their rezolootness.

Meanwhil, our apartmint was cold an less-cold all day, until evening, when it got positively TOOCOLD. This not just a problim fer me an mom. Oh no. We also has the parental units of our Russhian roommate visitin from Moskow. So this a big problim, cuz of course, they not used to the verree cold wehter. Huh.

An then there were the communikayshunz problims, cuz mom onlee knows how to say “No. Plese. Thankque. Hello. Cheers.” and mebbee “Goodbye, Comrade” in Russian. An the parental units only knoes how to say, “Good Mornink. Thenkyu. Cold. Temperatura. Sick. Inglish bad.”

Which are to sae that they wer communicatin at the verree samest level. An that level not hav aneethin, words or fhrazis, like whut wud halp them communicate things like, fer egsample:

Them: The radiator isn’t working. It is very cold.
Mom: The landlord knows the radiator isn’t working. They will call me. Here is an extra blanket.
Them: Oh no. Do not give us your only blanket.
Mom: It is extra. For emergency. And the landlord will call me back.
It went on like that fer a while. But it turn out that if yu can show folks three extra blankets, an point wift yer toes to them an yu an then yooz Google Translator an prints the weird Cyriclic letters out, you kin commyoonikates just fin.

Also, it halps if maintenance eventchoolee calls an says that the oil feed thing wuz clogged, which explains the on-again, off-again, an now is fixed.

The we kin all sleeps warm, wiftout all the egstra blankits! Huh.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

My Success So Far

Musashi Sez:

Wull, it turn out that all this Noo Yeer stuff require lots an lots of practis. Fer example, I has been sayin Pleez verree well, when I wants Mom to wayk up or to feeds me or to plae wift me an that Crazy Red Dot!!! Thankyu is harder. I mean, I can do it when mom gets up an I can do it when she gives me a bellee rub. But the feedin one is hard cuz in between the Th and the Q is lots of om-nom-noms. Mom says I are a work in practis. Or possibly progress. I fergits.

Meanwhile I has been tryin to figger out how to be frends again wift Mister Tygr, whu so disrpointed me when we wuz havin our ninja vs. steampunk argyoomint. Finally, he pointed out that the real argyoomint was akshullee ninjas vs. pirates, and that in fact BOFT ninjas AN pirates cud be steampunk if they wanted to be. So we cud play steampunk ninjas one day an then steampunk airship pirates the next. This brillyunt discovery has made my days much less lonlee and also mutch more egsytin!!!

Monday, January 6, 2014

Figurin Out My Improovmints

Musashi Sez:

So my Grandmom sent me a email askin if I was sayin Pleez an Thankyu enugf, an of corse she was rigt, I don’t. So fer this yeer I rezoloot to say Pleez an Thankyu mor, espeshully when I am akskin Mom to wayk up an feed me, and also when she trims my nails although that will be much harderer.

Meantime, I am also goin to try to be a better snuggler at night and also in the morning after she has feeded me. Nothin says thankyu as much as snugglin an purrin. Huh.

Thursday, January 2, 2014


Musashi Sez:

Well, I hav been thinking that Mom an me boft need som self-improovmints, especially her. All I needs to work on is my vocabulaberry, an I have been borrowin Mom’s Cross Word Puzzulz fer halp wift that.  (Altho don’t aksk me why all them words is so cross’ maybe it’s cuz they are stuck in them littul boxes.)

Mom needs mor work. She has been workin on her cookin skills, although her fud alwaes smells perty awful, so I am assooming that she not veree gud at it, although she always seem happee, eetin all them froots an vejetabuls an cheez an erbs. Yuck.

I think she shud cleen her desks mor so I can walk ovr them mor easily an also she shud percastinayt less on halpin me wift mai blog, becuz it is easier wift her thin finger-toes to typ than it is fer me wift my dainty feets.

I am shur I will think of other waes we can improov ourselves this year. If yu has ideers, I am listening. By reading yer comments, because yu guyz nevr talk loud enugf fer me to hear by listening the regular way. Huh.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Mor Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I has ben havin mor times to think about my rezolooshunz. An I think that both Mom an me shud nap mor. I, of cours, have been actin on this thorgt immediately, but Mom is a littul bit behind on it.

Todae, I napped valyuntlee, whil Mom mostlee stayed awayk, if yu kin imaginate this. An she did not eevn work on her list of rezolooshunz, lik I did. She mostlee just watched Xena reruns, an also she repatraiatyted her glasses whut she had forgotted after kung fu on Sunday nigt.

Mai Noo Year’s Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Well I was goin to writ a brilliant blog but then I remembererd that I hads to writ my noo year’s rezolooshunz an som fer Mom too.  I figure that learning to ride a ponee will be up there on mai list and getting her to wayk up before I has to pat her nose a millyun times will be one fer her. If you has ideers fer us, we will take them. Thank yu, an Happee Noo Yeer!!!