Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Crayzees. Or: Runnin! Evrwher! Verree Fast!

Musashi Sez:

I wuzn’t goin to wryt about the crayzees, but mom sez they’r akshul verree commin, an that mos kittees has the crayzees somtim. Mos has them evr dae. Parentlee, kittees is noen fer havin the crazees, speshullee in the morning an eevnin. Doggees has them too, of cors, but they spreds them out thru the day, so that if yu don’t mind the slobbr, yu migt akshul not notis. Wift kittees, yu notis. O yes.

Now yu gots to pae attenshun, cuz ther’s goin to be fhyziks.

Boft doggees and kittees nap a lot, to get the enerjee fer jumpin on stuff. But doggees has tails that ar alwaes waggin. If they sees yu, they wag. If they eet dinnr, they wag. If they walk down the street, they wag. All that waggin uses up enerjee that they got from all that nappin.

But kittees don’t wag, partly cuz we got pryd and partly cuz we’r lazee. (Is tru. Ask anyboddy.) So all that enerjee that we get from the nappin bilds up in our mussls, sqwishin together, mor an mor enerjee sqwishin tigtr and tigtr, until we hits what Nookleer Fhyzisists call CRITICAL MASS.

Then we goes BOING! ! ! lik a spring. An then we’r runnin! Verree fast! Evrwher!

Hoomin peeples calls this the crayzees, but akshul, is jus fhyziks.

Mom Sez:

The cartoon is Patrick McDonnell's brilliant cartoon Mutts. The man sure knows cats (and also dogs, deer, bears, squirrels, small children). Check him out at

Thursday, February 26, 2009

James Dean an Me: The Cool Fakter

Musashi Sez:

James Dean wuz this reelly cool humin guy. He was a moovee star. He had a motursaikul. That's a big thin on 2 wheels that yu ride around on, an peeples thingks yer cool. I don't hav one. I only has mai feets, an they are prettee speshul, cuz I can do thins lik bouns off the side of the otterman an mom sez motursaikuls mosly can't do that. Also, he smoked, an everboddy noes now that's bad fer yu. I don't smoke. I'm a helthy kitty. He had to wear blak a lot fer peeples to think he was cool. I wear blak all the tim. So I must be eevn cooler, cuz I never has to chanje. So he only gits 1 star. But we got to gives him somthin, cuz it's not his fault he wasn't a kittee.

Mom Explains:

I don't know what I could possibly add to this.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

How to Becom Smartypants

Musashi sez:

I’v ben watchin mom an mai roommayts laytlee an notissin how they’r all smartypants. Mom’s a perfessr, so she gets payd to be smartypants. Raychul and Karli is stoodents, so they’r smartypants-in-traynin. How do they do that?

Well, they all hav kapyuters an they looks at them a lot, going tappy-tappy on the keys. I kin do that too, tho somtims mom yells if I do it in her dokyuments. She’s verree partikler lik that. They also somtims stuffs their cloths into a bag an go off an com bak an the cloths smell all flowry. But I don’t thingk that helps the smarty part, even if it do help the pants. Fer a whyl, I thogt it wuz the stuff that Postman Bob brings, cuz I herd how yu kin get a skool degree bai mail, an mom gets mor mail than anybody.

Yu kin see I ben thingkin about this fer a long tim. I sit in mai thingkin bed bai the windo, doin mai thingkin til I falls asleep or somthin exsytin happens out on the sidwalk. An so 1 dae I got up an turnd aroun in the bed an lookd up at all mom’s books. She got lots an lots. Mor than the girls got togethr. An I thingkd, “That’s it! Is books!” Now I’m still not shur jus how books help yu get smartypants. Seems lik ther’s a buntch of diffrent waes.

Mom opens the book an turns eetch payj an looks at it. Is prettee borin. Raychul leevs the book on the taybul, but sins they’r alwaes chuckin me off the taybul, that don’t help me so mutch.

I lik Karli’s wae best. She lies down on the cowch an opens a reellee big book in the middul an then tayks a nap on top. She does that lots an she gets reellee good lettrs from her perfessrs, lik As and Bs. So I figger I kin lern lots that wae.

So now, any tim mom leevs a book out, I lie down on it an naps. Mom’s alwaes taykin books out, so I shud get to be smartypants in no tim.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mai Thingkin Bed

Musashi sez:

I ben notissin thins about mai toys laytlee an I wuz wondrin if othr folks has notissd simlar thins.

Fer instins, I gets all of them all ovr the livin room flor at nigt an when I gets up the nex mornin, not evree tim but lotsa tims, they ar all up on the otterman together. Now I noe that Viktr an Pelikan kin walk an even jump!, but they’r not gud at carryin thins, an the balls kan’t jump, so how they get up ther?

An another thin. When I’m alon, Viktr an Pelikan an Charlee the Crunchee Dog don’t do mutch. They jus lie on the flor unless I mayks them get eksersize. But when mom’s aroun, they run aroun an kik balls to me an hyd unner a big peece of paypr an do all kinds of stuff. Is verree stranje. Eevn Jinjerbred, whu look lik a cookee, somtims he jumps! on mai nek lik he’s ridin a hors. But I am not hors. Huh. Still, he onlee does that when mom’s aroun.

This kind of problimatikul thin is why it’s gud to hav a extra bed. Not lik yer mom or dad’s bed, wift all the blankits, just a fuzzee roun thin yu kin climb into when yu gots to nap or thingk. I got 2: 1 fer nappin (it’s on the otterman) and 1 fer watchin hoomin peeples out the windo an thingkin. It hasn’t ben snowin laytlee, so no hoomin peeples hav ben shovullin. So I got plentee of tim to thingk about stuff lik this.

I tell yu whut I thingkd.

I thingk that when mai mom is aroun mai toys, they do stuff cuz of her Infekshus Inthooziazm.

See, if yu sits in a thingkin bed long enugf, yu kin get som prettee big wurds to use fer solooshuns to yer problims. That mayks the problims skayrd an they run away.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Blankits an Pirates

Musashi sez:

OK, I’m bak an owt of breft cuz I ran! all the way to the kapyuter wher mom wuz typin. So now I sit on the windo sill an tell her whut to spell.

I tell yu abowt PIRATES, whu wuz meen guys on ships, dozins an dozins of yeers ago when hoomin peeples wor big hats an curvee swords calld CUTLASSES. Pirates stole eetch othr’s ships an silver an gold an bloomers. Then they hid all the treazhur in caves on dessert ilands. That’s an iland far away from evrythin, wher yu kin get funnee drinks wift froot an littul umbrellers in them.

So yu probable sayin to yerself, “Why is Musashi telling me this? Ther ar no pirates in mai neyborhood.”

Huh. Yu got to be trustin me.

I tell yu this so yu kin get unner the blankits in the mornin on thos daes when yer mom or dad isn’t gettin up fer work. Yu get in ther wher it’s dark an yu kin pertend to be a pirate like Long Jon Silver or Kaptin Morgan or Jak Sparrow (he wuzn’t reelly a burd, he wuz actor). Yu kin pertend that yu jus stol all thos gold an bloomers from the ship nex door wift all the doggees on it, and yu mayd them walk on the plank an go splash! into the oshun an hav to doggee-paddul all the way hom. Then yu tayks yer treazhur (an it kin be pertend treazhur or yu kin bring a mousee fer that) an yu burrees it behind yer mom’s nees. Then yu kin go get anuthr mousee to burree or yu kin com bak wift a map wift a X on it an yu kin dig up mousee an tak him away.

Mebbe somtim I tell yu whut to do fer fun aftr yer mom or dad has chuckd yu owt of the bedroom an shut door.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Reskyuing Animals Every Day: Yes Yu Can!

Musashi Sez:

Mos evry nit, I reminds mom to go to “the animal rescue site dot com” to rescue animals (an yu has to spell the “the” too, go figger). Yu kin do it evry day. Yu clicks the purpul button an the advertisers gives them money. Then hoomin peeples find animals who are losted, like I was, an they bring them somwhere safe an feed them an giv them blankits an litter an evn som toys. An mom sez they help fix them too, an I suppose som gits broken when ther away from hom. Mom sez, “Um, yes, dir, jus lik that. By the way, yer ballz is under the couch agin.”

But anyway, the other thing abowt the site is yu kin buy stuff fer yer kitties, an even doggees if yu reelly has to, an for yerself an yer hoomin frens. An they giv fud to these losted kittees an doggees. An they help wift fixing kittees and doggees even in far away places like Texas an India. I gives this site four stars.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Mai Ferst Birftdae Evr

Musashi Sez:

Mom sez I am goin to be ONE YEAR OLD todae! This is a big, speshul lanmark. Not jus evrbuddy gets to be one yeer old. An som folks eventchoolly get so old they don’t evn rememember bein one. So she sez we gots to comememorate the day. She sez there will be humin peeples who loves me comin an she’s goin to giv me a present! ! !

So I sez, O-KAY!

But she also sez that we’r goin to hav the partee laytr, cuz she’s been havin a cold an so hav som of mai frends. So she sez we’r goin to do it lik the Qween of Ingland, whu has 2 birftdaes evr yeer, the akshul one an the offishul one. So todae is mai Akshul Birftdae. So I told mom she cud use mai blog totell yu som importint stuff abowt how I got heer an why yu shud noe.

Mom Explains:

I am forever grateful for two cats, who came from two different shelters. MeToo Yanchak came from a shelter in Pittsburgh, PA and lived with me from September 2006 to June 2008. He made me realize what I had missed from not living with a cat full time for most of my life, and inspired me to adopt a shelter cat after he was gone. Musashi was rescued by the good folks at Angell Memorial/MSPCA in Jamaica Plain, MA, to whom I am forever grateful also.

Musashi Sez:

We tell yu mor abowt them laytr. Rigt now yu gots to sing along wift us, an sing reelly LOWD lik yu was singin from a fens. Okay, GO!!!

Happy Birftdae to Meee!
Happy Birftdae to Meeeee!
Happy Birftdae to Meeeeeee!
Happy Birftdae to Musashi, migty hunter of mousees!
Happy Birftdae to Meeee!

An many morrrrrrr!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mai Ferst Morel Dallemmer

Musashi Sez:

Wen I startd this blog, I figgerd it’d be eezy, jus talkin abowt fun thins lik pownsin and chasin thins. La la la. Lik that. But now somthin’s happnd that is hard to figger, an cuz so many of yu reeders are littul kittees whu needs morel gydens, I figger I shud spell abowt it heer, not jus in mai hed.

So, see, today is the Sooper Bowl. This is wher 22 guys junp on eetch other’s bowlz of crunchee chow. Whu-evr gets the mos guys on the othr teem’s bowl, wins, an they gets to waer these big gold rings. Is stranje.

So heer’s my problem. This yeer’s teems is the ST. LOUIS CARDINALS an the PITTSBURGH STEELERS. Now mai mom haz alwayz liked the cardnuls, an she haz frends from Saynt Louees. But mai onkel Me2 is frum Pittsburg, an he’s fer shur a STEELERS fan. I eevn lernd how to cheer fer them. Yu sez: “Gooo! Shtellerrz!!!” Like that. So I’m havin trubbul figgerin owt whu to cheer fer.

Mom Explains:

As I just told Musashi, a very long time ago, I had a similar moral dilemma. I was probably about five, not so very different from Musashi’s age now, relatively speaking. I was at a summer day-camp and when I got to lunch one day, they said that one of the counselors had made brownies for everybody. But it turned out that I had brownies in my lunch bag, that my mother had made, and she didn’t make brownies often, being superstitious, since often when she made brownies in those days, something bad happened. (Don’t even ask.) Anyway, I was stumped and troubled. Whose brownies should I eat????

Musashi continyoos:

Well, I diskust it with mom, whu had somthin lik this happn yeers an yeers ago. She sed the bestest thin to do wud be to COMPROMISE, an that meens makin almos evrbuddy almos happy. It seems reesonobble. So. Heer’s what I desideded.

I’m goin to root fer the Minnie-Soda Vikins an the Caroliner Panthers. Mosly cuz I liks ther helmut-pikchurs. Huh.

Mom concludes:

Yes, that sounds right. I ate the brownies, both of them. But I ate my mom’s first. You have to have your priorities straight.