Wednesday, April 21, 2010
OK! I has a verree funnee jok to tells yu. Mai mom toldid it to me.
(Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!) Yu will lagf yer socks off.
If Aypril showerz bring May flowrz, wut doz May flowrz bring?
(Hnrf, hnrf! Yu nevr goin to get this one, it is too clevr. Hnrf, snort!)
Do yu gess yet? What thos May flowrz bringin? I bet yu can’t gess! (Hnrf, hnrf!)
PILGRIMS! ! !
Yah, that’s pertee gud! Mai mom mayd that one up. Wull, akshullee she sez she had halp from som chick naymd Dixie Kup, but I nevr met anee of her frendz wift a naym lik that, so mebbee she nu this Dixie in collidj or somthin…
Pilgrims! Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf! Pil—snort! Hnrf…
I cud jus lagf all dae...
Monday, April 19, 2010
A week or 2 ago, mai mom wuz skramblin around between churchiz to selebrayt this whol Eestr thin. Eestr is hard to figgr, eevn tho I red up about Happeecat in the laytr bits of the LOLCat Bibul. See, it turnz out that Ceiling Cat vizitid that Izreel plays again, jus like he yoozd to do wen Noah wuz sayvin his bacon (an beef an pork an lik that) bak wen they had that big flud.
An mebbe yu rembembrer how I toldid yu the storee of wen Jeezus/Happee Cat got bornd an all thoz sheep-herdrz an anjelz vizitid him (see mai blog fer 12/22/08). Wull, it turnz out that theez 3 king-gyz (mayd of Legos, parentlee) also vizitid him an givd him prezints. They wuzn’t hyoojlee egsytin prezints, cuz layzr pointrz not ben inventid yet. They moslee brogt him gold an catnip.
So this Happy Cat fellr groo up to be a danjrus sort, alwaez leepin! on the Pfariseez an putting snagz in their prayr blankeez, which is cleerlee BAD—
--egsept… if it’s Ceiling Cat’s kitten whu is doin it, he probabul got one of them Get-Outa-Jayl-Free cardz. So it’s OK. But them Pfarisee fellerz an their frendz in the guvernmnint din’t lik Happee Cat mayking fun of them, or—eevn worser—ignorin them. (Persnal, I thingks they musta ben doggeez, cuz doggeez alwaes gotta has the attenshun.)
So them crankee doggeez foun one of the kitteez whu playd in Happeecat’s jaz band, Joodas, the obo playr. He wuz not happee about Happee Kat, cuz he wuz hopin that Happee Kact wud kick out the Romin Soldjerz whu wuz lik big ol’ bears or somthin, but Happee Kittee wuz mor intrestid in maykin shur that the homless kitteez (and eevn doggeez! an bunneez!) got fud an wadder an blankeez.
So Joodas toldid theez govermint typs wher to fin HappeeCat, an they givd him lotsa tinfoil ballz. Or somthin. An then they hided behin the coutch in Izreel, waytin to Pounce on Happee Kittee!!!
Tim fer mai nap. I tells yu mor laytr.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So las week mai mom founded out that ther is a plays calld the Musashi Institoot of Tecknolojee. It is in Japan, attatchd to the Tokyo Cittee Universtee. Mom sez that this is mor lik CUNY than Harvrd, whutevr that meen. Still, it is egsytin. Thingk about it: somwher, verree far awae, all kindsa peeples is studeein layzr pointrz, moussee trajektoreez, Optiml Solar Enerjee Absorption in Feline Fenestration (OSEAFF), and Feline-Powered Batteries And Bioartificed Industrial Engineering Systems (FPBABIES). As yu kin see, sutch studeein catrgoreez is importint fer kittees, as they (kitteez, not catrgoreez) is eethr the subjikt or the objikt of the reesertch.
Anneewae, we gives yu a piktchur of the Institoot. An we lets yu imajin fer yerselvs whut kinda resertch they probabul does ther, which will inevitabul fix all the stoopid cruntch-typ problims hoomin peeples has gottid us all into.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
So over las weeknd, I wuz upset! cuz of the unegspektid “gest” kittee whu stayd in Karlee’s room ALL dae. So laytr, Mom an me sits on the coutch wift our blankeez, verree cozy fer ME an MOM. (She NOT aneebodee els’z Mom! But I toldid yu that alreddee.) Then fynlee, Karlee wantid to sleep, an Carlos wantid to sleep wift his gifrend, an I wuz NOT in the MOOD to let the kittee stay wift MAI MOM, so they puttid him bak in the hall wer he started. An I wud hav sed that we all livd happee aftr that, but mai Mom has morals, which tend to mayk lif diffrkult.
So, around 9:30, wen the roomiez wer bakkin off from the moral syd of the qwestshun, they all put out the wadder an kibbul and littr, an Mom added an old comfy shirt, an they puttid the annoyin innerloper OUT. Hah!
An from whut Mom figgrd out, wen she caym hom feelin giltee in the morning aftr comin bak from goin to church, that othr kittee caym from downstayrz, an the gy who liv wift him is not smart enogf to eethr get him nootrd, or to eevn jus put a collr on him so folks kin noe whu he liv wift. S*I*G*H* Anneewae, his naym Jaspr.
Yup, it’s pertee sad wen the “speeseez” that thingk it is smartrer than the rest of us coppl millyun othr speeseez jus don get it…
Just so you know, the cupcakes that didn’t get eaten by the students at the Episcopal Divinity School mostly got eaten by the staff at the MIT Writing and Communication Center. Because they're the kind of people you can turn to when you need something chocolate eaten. The folks from EDS sang Happee Birftdae (I made them) but the MIT folks didn't (I figured I shouldn't push my luck...)
I know you is all waytin to heer about our Eestr selebrayshunz an how Mom is teetchin me about all this Cristshun theeologee stuff an about Ceiling Cat, whu is relayted somhow. But yu’r goin to hafta wayt. Aftr all, payshunz is a vertchoo. Huh.
Quot of the Dae: "Wen I plae wift my cat, whu noes if I am not a pastim to her mor than she is to me?" ~Michel de Montayn