Tuesday, May 13, 2014

More Things I’m Not Goin to Do

Musashi Sez:

I've been mulling mai career opshuns again and I got a few more things I kin rool out.

• Perfeshunnul Soccer Player  (Mom sez Pele does not have to worry about me stealin his job. I not has the heart to tell her that even though he was a hotshot when she was just a kitten in the 1970s, he retired about elebenty-hunderd years ago.)

• TV Critic (While I agrees in a general sense that telebision is a under-appershiayted medium, I finds that, in the pertickyooler, I falls asleep even throo the egsploshunz.)

• Ice Cream Farmer (I have been reading that cows not like to be milked by kittees, an sometim they steps on them “by accident.”)

• Calender Maker (You has to be able to count up to 31 at least, an maybe even more during a leap year. An all the numbers has to go in the same order every time!)

• Guard of the Unknown Soldjer (I can’t stay awake fer hours at a time, an whu want to just pace back an forth all day anyway?)

• Newspaper Printerer (I seen piktchers of them big ol machines an I bet it wud be way too easy to get mai tail caugted in them.)

I am very seriously consideraytin the job of Zamboni Driver, however, on account of my havin lots of fur to keep me warm in them cold rink places. Can yu imajin me goin to a cocktail party? Then, when they asksed me what I do fer a livin, I cud say modestly, “I are a Zamboni Driver!”

I wud get all the gurls!!!

Thursday, May 1, 2014

May Day & Career Ideas

Musashi Sez:

Wull, today is May Day, which is a spring festival thing where yu finds a convenient pole and some really long ribbons in red and bloo and green an pink an yello an yu dance around it while yu sing. Fer yer really gud verisimilitude, yer songs shud include words lik “hey, nonny, nonny,” but don’t ask me why.

I think this wud be a mor fun game if they attached ping pong balls to the ends of the ribbons, cuz I am a fan of ping pong balls an I can chase them unner the bookcase all day!!!

Meanwhile I has been trying to decide on mai summer plans, or possibul, whut I want to be when I grow up. I have decided to NOT be a farmer, a chef, or a surfer. That was EASY to decide.

I was thinkin I cud be a food critic, because I am so gud at watchin Mom cook an commenting on whut I see. She always tells me whut she's cooking, especially when I asks to smell stuffs. Most recently, I has smelled zuchinni, onyun, pasta, oringe, scallions, cheese, peetzer, spgetti sauce, an a bagel. Also cream cheese which don't look like cheese, but as I unnerstand it, dairy kin be sneaky. I never really like what I smell. Once upon a time I licked some funny Gouda, but since then I don't eevn try.

So I thogt I wud be a natural at being a food critic, but Mom said that yu has to sometime say the food is akshully gud, and I never think so, so I guess that’s out.