Wull, mai mom FYNLEE got bak frum her big ol’ confrens in San Fransisco in Californyr, an I has to say, wull. it shur took long enugf!!!
She sez she wuz all plitikul an theolojikul an lik that, but maynlee, I’m thingkin that she tukt a vakayshun wiftout invytin me along. Shur, she SED that the Hilton Hotel didn’t hav littr boxiz in their roomz, an that they gets verree antsee if yu aksks them about their a-komo-day-shunz fer Non-Hoomin-Peeplez.
But I thingks mebbe she wuz jus tryin to get out of depooperaytin MAI littr box. Huh. An whut kinda mom is that, I asks yu?
But she did com bak. An the firstist thin she don wuz to cleen up mai waddr fountin so I cud dringk frum it properlee. The secondist thin wuz she depooperayted my pooperatyr. So mebbee I wuz wrong. Mebbee this whol content an contakt thin, which mai granpa talk about, has gots som legs unner it
An the thridst thin she did wuz to nap wift me fer, lik, three or for whol hourz. So, yu noe, mebbe she the mom-typ-person whu I has ben egspektin her to be.
Egsept she not ovr-feedin me AT ALL. She hasn’t wuns sed in the last 7 or 8 hourz how she kin see mai ribz frum ther.
So I jus dunno…
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
So this past weekend, mai mom wuz in Calrfornya at this meetin wift 10,000 hoomin peeplez at it whu talks about relijunz. I asksd her how much is that an she sed, “Lots. Lik, one, two, Many, LOTS,” so we just goin to tayk her werd fer it.
I askd her whut they wuz sayin about Ceiling Cat ther, an she gottid all shiftee, if yu wants mai opinyun (which yu cleerlee do cuz yu’r reedin mai blog).
“Wull,” she sed, “I didn’t get to go to anee of the talks about Relijun an Aminulz… See, I hadsta werk Thersdae, so I hadsta travul on Fridae, wen they wuz havin a few of them. An then this Occyupai march caym up an I hadsta go to that, cuz it wuz Histree, an how offin doez yu gets to do that?”
An of cors, I not has a ansr fer that one. But I asksd, “Wull, but aftr that ther musta ben somthin, rigt?”
“Wull, I had intended to go to one about ‘Thinkin Aminulz an Relijun, Rethinkin Ethiks,’ but then theez faymus theolojunz, Joerg Rieger and Rita Brock—yu rememembrer sleepin on their books—“
“Huh,” I sez. “Yus, I remembrer.”
“Wull, they wer doin a talk on the Occyupai stuffs, an aftr the march—Hey, did I tell yu that Rita Brock lendid me her umbrellr?”
“No, but I wundred why yu left me it, sins I not evr go out egsept to see that vet person in Jooly.”
“I fergots it. Aneewae, they wer talkin about how mebbe we cud Occyupai the Univertsitee, an that the kinda conversayshun I not egspektid to hav heer, so I wentid to that insted.”
“Huh. I spoz,” sed I, but moslee cuz mom reellee noe how to speek my langwudj. “Still,” I aksd, “whut they sayin about Ceiling Cat? I noe ther lotsa innerfayth dialogz, so I figgrd ther wud be lotsa kittee peeplez ther givin talks.”
“Wull, ther a langwudj difficultee, yu noe. Lotsa theolojunz speeks Germin and Frentch an Greek, and I herd som speeking Japaneez an Chineez, but I’m pertee rayr bein somboddee whu flooent in LOLcat.”
“Wull, kinda. But they sez heer that the academee moov reellee slow.”
“Not egzaktlee. Altho ther ar rezemblez heer an ther. But maynlee it seem not so eezee to sugjest a noo groop fer studee, lik, sae, Innerspeesheez Conversayshunz, or Ceiling Cat in Poplr Relijus Imajinayshun.”
“Yeah. That whut I thogt.”
An of cors, it onlee mai mom’s ferst yeer goin to this thin, so ther no wae all them big toms is goin to listen to her even if she caterwaul about it, so I gess I’m jus goin to has to wayt.
But, huh. So mutch fer divertsitee.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Mai mom is reedin buks on evolooshun on that Jeezus fellr whu sposta be Ceiling Cat’s son, com to sayv the werld. Huh. Not likelee. No wae a hoomin cud sayv aminalz, not wift all the nastee stuff hoomins do to aminal peoples. (Altho not mai mom. She jenrullee pertee gud.)
Them othr hoominz nevr considerayt that us aminal peeples gots our own sayvyorz. The sqwirrl peeples got theirz, whu com lotsa hundrids of yeers ago, befor the hoomins cuttid down the treez fer them stoopid farmz an factreez. The cowz gotst one, probabul in Indyer, cuz eevn the hoominz respekt cowz in Indyer.
Problee eevin the Hoya! has one, but I not speek Plant flooentlee, so I cant ask mai littul brothr, Ernie, the Hoya! Bert got moovd to mai mom’s desk at MIT, cuz I wuz yoozin him fer dentul floss. (Tern out, he wuzn’t aspragrus-flayvrd aftr all.) Mom sez he ar adjustin nyslee to livin wiftout eethr direct sunligt or, as it happun, kittee peeples lik me. But this wuz a cleer lessn on how jus cuz somboddee is a diffrint speesheez doeznt meen he or she or whatevr aint got som rigts. Huh.
An of cors, us kitteez got Happy Cat, an of cors he is sayvin us in lif aftr lif, cuz we does gets in trubbul reglar, but it not lik ther anee point talking him up to membrz of othr speesheez, or whut Mom call “proseltyzin.” I cud talk till I’m pink in the fays lik mom, but that isn’t goin to get mai bruthr Ernie a Tenfth Lif. Huh.
But fer them them OTHR hoominz to jus ASSOOM that jus cuz we don’t talks abowt our sayvyorz to THEM we isn’t got them is jus insultin.
Hmm. But we have been waiting about 2000 years for Jesus to come back like he said he would. What if he’s spent all that time becoming squirrels and hoyas and cats and like that, to save all those species one at a time? That would take lots and lots of time…
You is being anthraxpolcentrix agen. Huh. Yu thingks that jus cuz yu folk has thumbs that moov conveenyentlee, that mayk yu Mastrz of the Yooneevers. Huh. Not likelee.
You mean anthropocentric, and yes, but I am working very hard at becoming, um, biocentric? geocentric? biogeocentric? Words are hard!
You gotst that rigt!