Mai mom sez weerd stuffs somtims. Lik wen she is about to go orf to work, she sez, “An I’m orf lik a herd of tertulz,” although I am pertee shur that turtulz is not herd beests, kinda lik how kitteez isn’t. An as she go out the dor, she say, “See ya laytr, alligaytr!” An if she not get out the dor fast enugf, I kin heer her sayin, “Huh. Yer sposta say, ‘In a whil, crocadial,’” as if she is talking to me, which she is probabul not becuz I am not one of them big lizerd peeples.
Mai theery is that goin to werk mayk her a little crazy. So she is invoking the turtul an lizerd gods to keeps her sayf on the train to werk, cuz trains is danjerus.
Yu asks how I noe about trains? Well, see, I has watchd lotsa cowboy movies ovr the years an also spy moovies, an peeples is always jumpin on trains an chaysin each other an shootin at each other, lik that Indiana Jonez fellr, or Jim Bond, the spy.
Mom is probabul nervus that sombodee is goin to jump on her train an she is goin to have to chase them off. An she noez kung fu, so she cud reellee figt them, yu noe, paw to paw! Pow! Wack! Bam! Bif! Jus lik that. An she wud totallee nock them orf the train in like ten seconds flat!!!
I noe that she is sayf aftr she get off the train, cuz she werk at MIT where there is lotsa brillyunt scientists inventin stuffs. She meets them somtimz in her work when they ar havin trubbul writin down their brillyunt ideers. An I figger that they wudn’t werk at MIT if it wuzn’t sayf ther.