Stardate 02112013. Our mishun, to find that dastardly Captin Nemo who stol the naymin rigts to the Earth-America-Noo-Inglund-Blizzard of stardate 02082013.
Obstakulz will not stand in our way, pertiklee when we ar eethr flyin in the spays or swimming in the oshun. We duzn’t akshulee noe how our ship will fare on land, but we are planning to spend a minimumul tim on land, cuz it has the gravitee, and gravitee is no fun.
Meenwhil, ME, Captin Musashi, is givin our Oprativ, Mistr Tygr, his orderz. Yu kin listen in:
ME: Okay, Mr. Tygr, frum now on, yer naym is “VJ” Tigriswattee, yu got that?
Mr. Tyger: Whut VJ stand fer?
ME: Huh. Victory Jaipur. Whut else?
Mr. Tyger: Okay. Whut shud I noe about mai backgroun?
ME: Yu from Jaipur, the pink city of Indee’er. So yu liks pink. But yu still verree danjerous. Probabul yu cudn’t get a plays on another ship cuz yu so danjerus. An yu are verree glad to get a plays on the Nautilus, so yu ar willin to be danjerus to the peepls Captin Nemo want yu to be danjerus against (onlee not us on the Firefly class ship Spontaneity; but don’t tell aneebodee about that; it ar a verree big seekret)
Mr. Tyger: Gotcha!
ME: Egsellent. Wen we get to the “rondayvoo” point wift the Nautilus, we will run ovr this agen and then transport yu. Do som push ups. Yu lookin a littul thin. They not goin to want yu unless yu look lik that Gastank Tygr, whatshisnaym.
Mr. Tyger: Wun-too, wun-too, wun-too, wun-too, wun-too, wun-too!
I pads mai way frum Tyger’z qwarterz to the Engin Room. The nookyoolr engin is runnin verree well, akshullee, which mayk me a littul nervus. Stuffs almost nevr run verree well. Somthin migt be verree wrong.
ME: Ms. Meckanik? Kaylee? Mom? Whu in charge heer?
Kaylee: Yah, it’s me. I wuz unemployed cuz of the stoopid netwerk who mayd our cool show go orf the air, an yer mom is a bettr pilot than meckanik—she’s an Inglush majer, yu know, whil I has gots a degree in meckanikul engineerin from MIT.
ME: The Massachusetts Institoot of Tecknologee?
Kaylee: Yu gotsta be kiddin. It’s the Mars Institooshun of Techicaliteez. Huh.
ME: So I not has to rely on Mom to steer an fix the engines at the saym tim?
Kaylee: Nop. But I will egspect fresh strawberreez on a reglar basis. Say, evree three monfts?
ME: Yu gots it!!!