We tried to send this one out last night, but there wuz whut mom called a Snffoo. Parently, that meenz technologee is actin up again, as usual.
So yesterdae, Mom an me wer werkin wift a apartmint that had heat whut she calls “innermittenly.” You migt think this means that the heat onlee werked from yer rigt front mitten to yer left, an yu wud not be entirelee rong. So she typed a lot whil I ran laps around the apartmint. (I wud hav worn her werkout soot, but it onlee hav 2 legs an they wer boft wae too long fer me.)
Layter, she went to “Werk Out At the Jim (WOAJ)” an she sed she got almost fiftee minits, but laytlee there has not been lots of tylet papr or towlz in the laydeez part of the jim. She says she thinks it is becuz of Girl Noo Yeer Rezolutionaries, of who there are more than thre are Girl Staff. But she says that by Febrooaree or March, that will work out when folks looz their rezolootness.
Meanwhil, our apartmint was cold an less-cold all day, until evening, when it got positively TOOCOLD. This not just a problim fer me an mom. Oh no. We also has the parental units of our Russhian roommate visitin from Moskow. So this a big problim, cuz of course, they not used to the verree cold wehter. Huh.
An then there were the communikayshunz problims, cuz mom onlee knows how to say “No. Plese. Thankque. Hello. Cheers.” and mebbee “Goodbye, Comrade” in Russian. An the parental units only knoes how to say, “Good Mornink. Thenkyu. Cold. Temperatura. Sick. Inglish bad.”
Which are to sae that they wer communicatin at the verree samest level. An that level not hav aneethin, words or fhrazis, like whut wud halp them communicate things like, fer egsample:
Mom: The landlord knows the radiator isn’t working. They will call me. Here is an extra blanket.
Them: Oh no. Do not give us your only blanket.
Mom: It is extra. For emergency. And the landlord will call me back.
It went on like that fer a while. But it turn out that if yu can show folks three extra blankets, an point wift yer toes to them an yu an then yooz Google Translator an prints the weird Cyriclic letters out, you kin commyoonikates just fin.
Also, it halps if maintenance eventchoolee calls an says that the oil feed thing wuz clogged, which explains the on-again, off-again, an now is fixed.
The we kin all sleeps warm, wiftout all the egstra blankits! Huh.