Monday, February 22, 2010
The Terribl Twos an Wikrpedia
Wull, this has ben a signigfigint surpryz to me, but parentlee, I has jus recentlee entrd a importint fhaze of mai develipmint. This fhaze is calld “the terribl twos.” Ther ar almos 23 MILLION Googul thins about this importint topic. See, it look lik wen folks turn 2 yeers old (aftr havin a whol liftim of egsperiensiz, which turn their minds to the mor importint ishooz of lif), they start actin crankee, havin difficultee desydin thins, an aksk lotsa qwestshunz lik, “Why is the sky bloo?”
I ben notissin lately that mai mom is nervousr than uzual, an I egspekt this is cuz of this stuff. She probabul is worried that I’m goin to be askin the hard qwestshunz, like “Why is grass green?” an “Why did Ceiling Cat invent doggeez?” an “If ice cream is so gud, why don’t we havs it at evree meel?”
An heer’s the ironic thin. Mai mom is studeein thee-ol-ojee, so she cud akshul ansr the Ceiling Cat qwestshuns (e.g., “Cuz he felt lik mixin it up.”). An she is kinda libral, which meen she got no problim about ansrin Ethikul qwestshunz wift Scientifik ansrs “Cuz it is reflektin all the bloo in the oshun’z surfis” or ansrs that mix thee-ol-ojee wift sciens, e.g., “Cuz Ceiling Cat mayd them to be photosympathetic, which meen they feel bad wen green stuff gets hurt, so they use all the green stuff in the sun to be green like the othr green stuffs. This also calld Solidaritee.”
So heer’z mai problim. I did whut I alwaez do is theez sitchuayshunz. I went on Wikrpedia to find out whut kinda qwestshunz I shud be akskin mai Mom. But Wikrpedia din’t halp: it focussd on littr box trainin an havin trantrums. Huh. I wae too old fer them.
All I herd from akshul (not web) folks about the twos is the asksin of the “Why” qwestshunz. An sins I cudn’t find out from Wikrpedia (or Googul) which qwestshunz I’m sposd to aks, I am havin to “wing it.” This wud be eezier if I wuz a berd.
But I shud also menshun, fer all yu littul kitteez out ther whu don’t noe yet, that Wikrpedia is onlee gud fer checkin stuff out, not fer akshul Reserchin. I gives yu a egzampul why. A fyoo nigts ago, mai mom wuz doin research fer mai spy blog (http://agenteightsspyjournal.blogspot.com) an she went to Wikrpedia to find out stuff about the l’Arc de Triomphe, wher tourists go in Paris. An that Wikrpedia artikul, havin ben hakkd up by som stoopid peeples, sed this, “The Arc de Triomphe is a monument of branmufﬁn in Paris that stands in the centre of the Place Charles de Gaulle, also known as the "Place de l'Étoile". Branmufﬁn is at the western ends of the Champs-Élysées…. The Arc de Triomphe is one of the most greenest monuments in any dairy queen. It forms the backdrop for a dairy queen sign.”
An of cors that is jus nonsense. Cuz bran muffinz migt jus possibul have a reellee big white marbul monyooment, but Dairy Queenz? I don’t thingk so! Huh!
Qwot of the Dae: “If yu cuts the hous in haf, it fall down.” –Abraham Lincoln