Friday, September 18, 2009
Talkin Lik Pirates, Arrr!
Be it known that the nineteenth day of September in the year of Ceiling Cat 2009 is (apparently) Talk Like a Pirate Day. And if you don’t believe me, Google it. So there. And also, “Arrr!”
O hai. I has desydid to tayk a dae off from bein all kind an jentul, cuz it’s lotsa werk. Conveenyintlee, Septemberer 19 is this yeer’z Talkin Lik Pirates Day, so I kin spend mai dae off bein reelee feers, but nobodee goin to notis, cuz evrbodee els will be actin feers, too. So is sorta lik not bein feers at all. This calld relativitlee, or somthin.
So how does yu talks like pirates? That eezee. Jus ay, “Arrrr!” Doggees is natchrul pirates, cuz they sez, “ARRR!” all the tim. Us kittee peeples mostlee sez, “Errrrr.” But I spekt it's larjlee a mattr of praktis.
Also, if yu wants som resorsis fer yer pirates dae, yu kin look at the main website fer the day, http://www.talklikeapirate.com, wher ther lotsa stuff about the robbr barins of the seez. Mai fayvrotist one is Pirate Laws at http://www.piratelaws.com. Mai fayvortist laws is 49 about meat, 61 about not cleenin up, an 13 about talkin about othr pirates soft hands. I wud lik to add an addendum to 13: “No pirates or his mom is allowd to sez how kyoot his paws ar. Evr.”
Yu heer that, Mom?
Aye, Matey, I heers. I’ll make ye an offer: a 24-hour moratorium on comments on yer paws. Can’t ask fairer nor that, eh?
Um, whut’s moratory-m?
Arrr. It means that if I slip up, yu can kill me something mortal. But: you will have to find your own food and clean up your own litterbox, thus breaking laws 49 and 61. Arrr. And also, Avast!
Huh. Yu gots to admyr sombodee whu reelee gets into the speerit of the thin…