Blankits an Pirates

Musashi sez:

OK, I’m bak an owt of breft cuz I ran! all the way to the kapyuter wher mom wuz typin. So now I sit on the windo sill an tell her whut to spell.

I tell yu abowt PIRATES, whu wuz meen guys on ships, dozins an dozins of yeers ago when hoomin peeples wor big hats an curvee swords calld CUTLASSES. Pirates stole eetch othr’s ships an silver an gold an bloomers. Then they hid all the treazhur in caves on dessert ilands. That’s an iland far away from evrythin, wher yu kin get funnee drinks wift froot an littul umbrellers in them.

So yu probable sayin to yerself, “Why is Musashi telling me this? Ther ar no pirates in mai neyborhood.”

Huh. Yu got to be trustin me.

I tell yu this so yu kin get unner the blankits in the mornin on thos daes when yer mom or dad isn’t gettin up fer work. Yu get in ther wher it’s dark an yu kin pertend to be a pirate like Long Jon Silver or Kaptin Morgan or Jak Sparrow (he wuzn’t reelly a burd, he wuz actor). Yu kin pertend that yu jus stol all thos gold an bloomers from the ship nex door wift all the doggees on it, and yu mayd them walk on the plank an go splash! into the oshun an hav to doggee-paddul all the way hom. Then yu tayks yer treazhur (an it kin be pertend treazhur or yu kin bring a mousee fer that) an yu burrees it behind yer mom’s nees. Then yu kin go get anuthr mousee to burree or yu kin com bak wift a map wift a X on it an yu kin dig up mousee an tak him away.

Mebbe somtim I tell yu whut to do fer fun aftr yer mom or dad has chuckd yu owt of the bedroom an shut door.