Mai Writer Blok Has Winned

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Musashi Sez:

So, I has finally given up on my pirate storee, cuz not onlee has I not gots a middul, I not even gots a ending, which mai mom ALWAYS has when she givs up on her novels. I has EMBRACED my writer blok in a Tru Feline Way (TFW), which is to say that I has scratched it to deaft. I will eventchooly return to writin NotFiction, after I has done enugf of that swoonin and swearin and genrally bein unlovable that writer-types do aftr their novels fail.

Then, I will get bak to that whol, just opinionatering thing that I was doin so well when I was jes a kitten what did not know what was not possibul.

Whups!

Musashi Sez:

I fergettid to inclood the cartoon of me channelin mai mom. Heer it is. Yu kin tell how gud that Patrik McDonnell is by how gud he got me (egsept mai noz not so big) and how brillyuntlee he got the mai-mom-bein-sik part.

Whut a brillyunt artist!!!

A Verree Gud Jok

Musashi Sez:

OK! I has a verree funnee jok to tells yu. Mai mom toldid it to me.

(Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!) Yu will lagf yer socks off.

If Aypril showerz bring May flowrz, wut doz May flowrz bring?

(Hnrf, hnrf! Yu nevr goin to get this one, it is too clevr. Hnrf, snort!)

Do yu gess yet? What thos May flowrz bringin? I bet yu can’t gess! (Hnrf, hnrf!)

PILGRIMS! ! !

Yah, that’s pertee gud! Mai mom mayd that one up. Wull, akshullee she sez she had halp from som chick naymd Dixie Kup, but I nevr met anee of her frendz wift a naym lik that, so mebbee she nu this Dixie in collidj or somthin…


Pilgrims! Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf! Pil—snort! Hnrf…

I cud jus lagf all dae...

Anothr Grayt Artist (An Lokl!)

Musashi Sez:

Ther a almos eevn betterer artist, naymd Patrick McDonnell, an he liv in Nu Jerzee. He mayks the comic strip calld MUTTS, wift our heroz, Mooch the Kittee and Earl the doggee. But Patrick also drowrz the Sundae pictchur fer his comic somtims to match the art of som othr mastr art gy or gal, and heer is one of mai persnl fayvrits, cuz it matchz the pictchur I shows yu last tim by the Japaneez mastr, Hiroshige.

So, this one of them cultchurl thins wher if sombodee shows yu one of theez, yu kin showz how smartypants yu ar by sayin, “Whut, whut! That look jus lik the renoend mastrpees of ol’ whutshisnaym, eh whut?” It halps if yu do this wift British aksent, cuz it mayks folks mor impresst.

The Crayzees. Or: Runnin! Evrwher! Verree Fast!

Musashi Sez:

I wuzn’t goin to wryt about the crayzees, but mom sez they’r akshul verree commin, an that mos kittees has the crayzees somtim. Mos has them evr dae. Parentlee, kittees is noen fer havin the crazees, speshullee in the morning an eevnin. Doggees has them too, of cors, but they spreds them out thru the day, so that if yu don’t mind the slobbr, yu migt akshul not notis. Wift kittees, yu notis. O yes.

Now yu gots to pae attenshun, cuz ther’s goin to be fhyziks.

Boft doggees and kittees nap a lot, to get the enerjee fer jumpin on stuff. But doggees has tails that ar alwaes waggin. If they sees yu, they wag. If they eet dinnr, they wag. If they walk down the street, they wag. All that waggin uses up enerjee that they got from all that nappin.

But kittees don’t wag, partly cuz we got pryd and partly cuz we’r lazee. (Is tru. Ask anyboddy.) So all that enerjee that we get from the nappin bilds up in our mussls, sqwishin together, mor an mor enerjee sqwishin tigtr and tigtr, until we hits what Nookleer Fhyzisists call CRITICAL MASS.

Then we goes BOING! ! ! lik a spring. An then we’r runnin! Verree fast! Evrwher!

Hoomin peeples calls this the crayzees, but akshul, is jus fhyziks.

Mom Sez:

The cartoon is Patrick McDonnell's brilliant cartoon Mutts. The man sure knows cats (and also dogs, deer, bears, squirrels, small children). Check him out at www.muttscomics.com.