How to Becom Smartypants

Musashi sez:

I’v ben watchin mom an mai roommayts laytlee an notissin how they’r all smartypants. Mom’s a perfessr, so she gets payd to be smartypants. Raychul and Karli is stoodents, so they’r smartypants-in-traynin. How do they do that?

Well, they all hav kapyuters an they looks at them a lot, going tappy-tappy on the keys. I kin do that too, tho somtims mom yells if I do it in her dokyuments. She’s verree partikler lik that. They also somtims stuffs their cloths into a bag an go off an com bak an the cloths smell all flowry. But I don’t thingk that helps the smarty part, even if it do help the pants. Fer a whyl, I thogt it wuz the stuff that Postman Bob brings, cuz I herd how yu kin get a skool degree bai mail, an mom gets mor mail than anybody.

Yu kin see I ben thingkin about this fer a long tim. I sit in mai thingkin bed bai the windo, doin mai thingkin til I falls asleep or somthin exsytin happens out on the sidwalk. An so 1 dae I got up an turnd aroun in the bed an lookd up at all mom’s books. She got lots an lots. Mor than the girls got togethr. An I thingkd, “That’s it! Is books!” Now I’m still not shur jus how books help yu get smartypants. Seems lik ther’s a buntch of diffrent waes.

Mom opens the book an turns eetch payj an looks at it. Is prettee borin. Raychul leevs the book on the taybul, but sins they’r alwaes chuckin me off the taybul, that don’t help me so mutch.

I lik Karli’s wae best. She lies down on the cowch an opens a reellee big book in the middul an then tayks a nap on top. She does that lots an she gets reellee good lettrs from her perfessrs, lik As and Bs. So I figger I kin lern lots that wae.

So now, any tim mom leevs a book out, I lie down on it an naps. Mom’s alwaes taykin books out, so I shud get to be smartypants in no tim.