Saturday, May 2, 2009

The ‘Nip: Just Say Purrrr

Musashi Sez:

OK. So I hav ben havin hoomin peeples akyuzin me of being a Nip Head. Now, aneeboddee whu noes me, noes that I kin bayrly smell the kind of catnip they put in toyz, an so far, that ben the only nip I hav seen. Or smelld, I gess. It migt do somthin grayt fer othr kittees, but it doesn’t do mutch fer me.

The problim heer is a problim of what mom calls PERCEPTION, an that meen that what peeples thingk (pertiklarlee hoomin peeples) is mor importint than what is tru. Is verree stranje, but is tru. So yu gots to pae attenshun.

I ben talking to hoomin peeples fer the las few monfts, an seems lik they all thingks that the ‘nip is lik the drug-thin hoomins do calld “haro-in” or mebbe “ko-kayn.” That, of cors, is ridikyulus. Kittee Nip (Catnip, napeta cataria or cannabis felina) is wae mor lik the kaffeen stuff that hoomin peeples ar drinkin an eetin all the tim. Is a soshul thin, somthin that simplee improovs yer reflexoblitee and yer fast reakshun tims. Is jus enhansin yer alreddee amayzin abilutteez.

Is not about “sniffin an winnin.” Kittees don’t do competishun. We jus all win alwaes. Is mutch eezier. (Cors, it help if yu has whut mai frend Cerceelya call ROBUST SELF-ESTEEM. Kittees got that. Is wrytd on our CNA or somthin.)

An shur, somtims, rayrlee, a kittee kin hav too mutch, jus lik hoomin peeples somtims have mebbe 4 cups of korfee (or 5) insted of onlee 3. An then, WHOOPS! Everboddy runnin! Everwher! Veree fast! Egsept they’r onlee talkin, not akshullee runnin. But they ar egsepshuns. An yu kan’t mayk roolz baysd onlee on egsepshuns. Huh.

Mom Concurs:

It’s true. Musashi finds catnip boring at best. Maybe it’s a nasal problem. I say we’re lucky. Good heavens, can you imagine what he’d be like if he could smell it properly?

Musashi Adds a Egsepshun:

Ther’s this traynin tool, that mai Ont Meredift calls “Kittee Crack Dot” and mai mom an her frends call a LASER POINTER. It’s srsly kool. It’s lyk a ant, egsept it is smallr an red, an it runs reellee fast! Evrwher! Eevn up the walls!

But is not reellee a drug. The Crack part is jus a naym. Reellee. I cud stop chaysin it aneetym I want. Huh.


MY said...

Some cats don't have the gene for getting all cracked out on catnip. Honest. Maybe you're just special like Me, Too.

Musashi said...

Yup, thatz me. Speshul.