Saturday, May 2, 2009

Tru-er Awsumniss: Chuk Noris or Gimlee?

Musashi Sez:

I ben skayt-bordin on the Interwebs, an I foun lots of syts about this Chuk Noris feller. Seemz lik he the bomb. Hoomin peeples ar alwaes goin on about how he kin kick othr hoominz’ butts. He eevn got his own jeans brand, Mom sez, wift space between the back legs in cays yu gots to kick somboddee in the hed. Also, if yu beleevs his websyt, eevn the boogeeman chek its clozit in cays Chuk Noris is ther hydin!!!

So, OK, this guy migt be kinda cool, but I dunno. Ther this othr guy whu is mebbe mor impressiv, cuz he’s short and (Mom sez) CURMUDGEONLY an UNDER-HYPED. His naym is Gimlee (son of Gloin, whu is gud frends wift Bilbo Baggins!), an he helpd bring down the Eevl Dark Lord, Sawron!!! An he don’t use repeetin gun-thins. He use a big battul axe. That meen yu gots to git closerer to the guy yu wants to kill, an that soun kinda skaree. Somtim, Gimlee a littul cross-eyd, but I spect that's cuz he is tryin to keep his ey on evryboddee.

So whut I decydid to do is this. I’m goin to have a contest. Yu all gots to vot on whu is betterer: Chuk Noris or Gimlee son of Gloin. Also, yu gots to desyd whu gits how manee starz. (Ther onlee choysiz 0 to 5 starz.)


Nancy said...

Do we vote here?
I vote for Gimli, 5 stars. Norris only fought humans, and in his own element. Gimli had to fight a variety of species, on so many different types of terrain. AND he is humble enough to let others take the ultimate glory and be glad for them.

Gimli, definitely.

MY said...


Since we are Texans now (what??? did I just say that???), Me, Too and I have to vote for the Chuck Norris.

"Every year, on his birthday, Chuck Norris chooses one lucky child... to roundhouse kick into the sun."

MY said...

And that's a 5-star, vote, Musashi. 5-stars. And one whole sun.

Nancy said...

Magda and Ambrose BOTH vote 5 stars for Gimli. And those are feline votes, which surely count for more than human votes. What's the point of having cat votes at all, otherwise?

So ten more stars for Gimli. meow

Nancy said...

Oh, and Oscar and Timothy from Topsham both vote for Gimli, as well.

Two more feline five stars. Gimli should really be pulling away, now.

Pamela said...

I'm gonna way in for Chuck. If I look half as good and in shape at 68 as he does, I'll be happy. And he is able to poke fun at himself, which gives him points in my book (Of course Gimli may do this too: I don't know!)

3.5 starz

MY said...

Wait? My CAT gets a vote? He can't even cover his own poo. I didn't know he was allowed a VOTE.

In THAT case, Me, Too votes for the Chuck Norris as well. Clearly.

And even better-er than that, the Mattadon votes for the Chuck Norris. Although Gimli has a great surname, that would make Chuck Norris... do... oh... wait. He doesn't know... Chuck Norris is so unpredictable.