Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Weddin Booookayz an Stuff

Mom Sez:

My former roommate recently asked, “All those flowers made me start to think (that's right, wedding buffs... START... as in, …I must have failed my ‘Being A Girl and Imagining Your Dream Wedding as a Child 101’ course) about wedding flowers. The following questions bubbled slowly to the surface:

1) Why do I need flowers? I'm getting married outdoors in August. Does that count?
2) Aren't the bridesmaids supposed to carry something?
3) Aren't I supposed to carry something? And then inevitably throw it?
4) Do any of the things we carry have to be flowers?”

Here is what Musashi replied.

Musashi Sed:

Dir Meredift,

This iz whut we callz non-braynr. So OK yu don't needz flowrz on the taybulz cuz yu gots flowrz evrwher aroun dem.

But fer that thingy yu personal gots to throw...Mom ben tryin to splain to me the boookay. An it seems eezee. Her's whut yu do:

Yu gotz to get a buncha strawrs. Then yu gets a buncha moussees full of the 'nip. Then you tayps the moussees to the strawrrs. So la, la, la, yu martchiz down the hall (mom sez ai-ull) wift the moussees tatched to the strawrs. Yu gets all marreed an stuff. Then, when is tim fer yu to thro the booookay, you throwz the moussees, whyl still holdin tigt onto the strawrs. So the moussees go flyin into the mob o' happee frends, and sins they'r yer frends, is lik they gots kittee peeples at hom, rigt? So they goez hom wift cool 'nip moussees fer their kittees. Everboddee happee.

Cuz mom sez that whol "chik whu catch the flowrz getz marreed next" is full o' litter. She catchd a booookay in 1997 or so and she still onlee hadded 2 or 3 boyfrends and not the marryin kind. So moussees fer kittees whu kin plae wift them is probabul betterer than flowr boookays fer chiks whu is jus goin to watch them gits brownd.

Mom sez I'm too litterl. Too bad, I sez. Yu askd fer halp an I givs it.

Yer nepfu,

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