Shaykspeare an Like That

Musashi Sez:

So this past week was a gud time fer partying. Tuesdae was Will Shakespeare’s birftdae. He was 449. I figger that next year is going to be a big party fer him in England, cuz how manee peeples akshully reach 450? I figger they’ll make him a big cake, maybe in the shape of that famous round theater. It’ll be verree egsytin fer him to blo out all them candles! He’s probabul goin to need all kindsa help.

Meenwhile, back here in Boston, evrbodee talking about how strong we all are, eevn tho all the reellee scary stuff is over, so how come we still needs to be so strong? They caugtid the bad guy who exploded the Boston Marathon an akshully got all my roommate gurls to stay hom last Friday!!!

Which is not to say that I am fer exploding stuffs, jus cuz it gives me companions. No, no, no.

Last week, we had a verree hard tim comyoonicaytin wift our fayvrit peeple in Boston, Pittsburg, Connecktikit, Main, an stayts lik that becauz of them skaree terrerist folks whu desideraytid to hurts peeples at that Boston Marathon thing. I’m still tryin to figger out why someboddee wud want to do somthin lik this, but I figger that I am extraordinarilee lucky about it, sins so far it look lik noboddee I noe has been hurt.

But I keeps thinking about all of them othr folks whu has ben hurtid, an I not noe whut to do. So mostlee, I runs around lik a crazy kittee an then takes a nap.

I bet yu guys all do the same thing as me. Huh.

Outlinz Wift Collr

Musashi Sez:

Wen yu writs stuff that is verree, verree long—lik a whole payj or mor—it kin be diffrcult to remembrer whut yu’r goin to writ at the end. So yu has to writ it down befor yu forgets. This called a “outlin” but it not mayk sens, cuz if yu kin writ it down, yu dint fergit, rigt?

Mom sez that outlinz don’t hav to be detayld, an yu dosn’t eeven hav to writ egzaktlee. Yu kin drawr piktchurz, lik wift crayonz.

She sez that Mistr Wil Shaykspeer problee yoozd outlinz, cuz all his playz hav 5 parts borkd into bits wift numbrz, an mos of his pomz has 14 linz. An lotsa peeples lov his writin, so probabul outlinz arnt so stoopid aftr all. Huh.

Idz of March an Wurld Dominayshun

Musashi Sez:

Way bak in Feboorary, I told yu about how I wuz workin on becomin smartypants lik evryboddy els I noe: mom an mai roommayts, and all their frends. I figger if they all caym to vizit an wor their funnee flat hats wift the cool wigglee tassuls, we wudn’t be abul to fit them all an also I’d be egzaustd from chaysin all the tassuls. So 1 day, mom saw me nappin on a book an she sed, “Musashi! What yu doin sleepin on mai book?”

I sed, “I’m lernin to be smartypants the way Karli does it.”

She mad a funnee noyz an then sed that I cud ask her qwestchuns if I wantd to lern spesifik stuff. So I sed I wuz interstid in somthin I saw a lolcat about, calld “WORLD DOMINATION.”

She mayd noyz agen, but then she sed, “OK. What yu want to lern?”

I sed, “Jus tell me what yu noe.”

So she thingkd fer a whyl, an then she askd if I noe whu Joolyus Seezer wuz.

She told me about this feller whu livd in Rom, verree far away, yeers an yeers ago, lik eevn befor that Jesus feller wuz born. He livd reellee clos to Gypsha, that kuntree I told yu about befor, wher hoomin peeples wershipd kittees. His naym was Joolyus, an they naymd Joolai aftr him cuz he wuz bornd then. I thingk that mayks him a Leo, jus lik mom, an mebbe that’s why she lik him. Also this othr feller, Shaykspeer (whu mom thingks is awsom lik a lion) wryted a plae about this Joolyus feller.

Seems lik this Joolyus got togethr a big armee an martchd them throo Frans and Inglund an took ovr all thos kuntrees, an then went bak hom to Rom an chuckd out the othr fellers whu had ben helpin him, an mayd himself king of evrwher. But the fellers whu didn’t get chuckd out got togethr in the middul of Martch aftr a whyl an they killd Joolyus. (That’s what that feller Shaykspeer wryted about.) So mom sez world dominayshun has its downsid. She sed she’d tell me about this othr feller Alekzandr somtim. But I thingk I’m don wift it fer now.

Mom Reacts:

Gosh, I never expected it would make him lose interest. What a pity for us all…