This goin to be a speshul blog cuz it’s about langwudj (an mebbe it last all munth, wift spayses fer othr stuff in between). Now lotsa hoomin peeples onlee wryt to me on the kapyuter to tell me how bad mai spellin is. I ben thingkin about this fer a whyl: yu noe, paysin aroun an stuff. Mom sez that’s calld bein “nervuss” an I gess she’d noe, cuz she’s not a kittee, an so she’s nevr goin to be perfiklee conferdent. But then, eevn mai Grayt-Ont Meridift sed, “He [that’s me, MUSASHI] writes a blog with lots of spelling errors. (Cats don't have the time for spell check. Also, they don't have opposable thumbs.)"
(Mom want me to syt this, but I’ll figger out that akademikul stuff laytr).
Now mai mom teetchz wrytin, an she ben teetchin me how to thingk an spell at the saym tim. She call this CRITICAL THINKING, even if yu’r bein nys to peeples whyl yu do it. So OK. Heer goes.
Mai Grayt-Ont Meridift is perty cool, even if I hasn’t met her yet. Mom thingks she’s a perty awsom wryter. She has this noo blog called "helpmakecents" (an yu kin konnekt to it wae, wae below in the part wher I tell yu about mai kul links). Is a funnee blog that she is wrytin to erns monnee fer her weddin to mai Grayt-Onkul Matt, whu is a kul guy who is alwaes willin to skup yer pup, or that's what mai Onkul Me2 says (an he's a kittee, eevn tho Grayt-Onkul Matt is a hoomin peeple. I has compikaytd fambly, but is mosly werth it.) So okay. Meredift wrytd 3 thins about me. Goin bakwerds, she sed that I don’t has thums, an that’s tru. She sed cats don’t has tim fer the SpellCheck progrim, and that also tru. But then, or akshul, preveeyus, she say that I wryt a blog “wift lots of spellin errers,” an that’s what yu call a “poynt of vyu.” I noe this cuz I askd an egspert. I tell yu about that.
See, mai mom noes lotsa weerd hoomin peeples whu liks to studee weerd stuff, lik langwudj and lichrachur an fhyziks (as oppozd to nootrishun fer kittees or othr normul, praktikul stuff). So a fyu daes ago, I e-mayld mom’s frend Cerceelya. (An fer thoz of yu whu noe about how I met mai mom, it wuz Cerceelya whu sed to mai mom, “Him! This the 1. He’s perty hansom!!!!” So her an me is alreddee frends.)
That’s what’s called transparency…
Musashi Goz on Aftr the Inpolyt Innerupshun:
So I wrytd to Cerceelya lik this:
“I am workin on a blog about langwudj an mom sez yu ar an egspert on langwudj…. Here's mai problim. Everboddy complayn about mai spellin, but I'm spellin bai rulz. I'm lisnin to hoomin peeples talkin an I'm wraitin it down lik I heer it. Also, I reed lolcats on a reglar basis. Mom sez ther's somthin calld Orthographic Reform an talks about som guy namd Webstir. Kin yu help me?” (An mom want anuthr of them saitayshuns. Huh.)
Now, if yu ar narro-mind, yu migt not egspekt Cerceelya to wryt bak to (huh) “jus a kittee,” but she liv wift 2 MAINE COON CATS, an 1 of them is lik 3 of the res of us on thos funnee pills football guys tayk. So she anserd reellee fast, lik the saym dae.
She sed: “Well, I appreciate your question and I want you to know that you are actually following in a fine tradition of independent thinkers and spellers. I'll start first with some advice and then we'll get some history. Here's the advice: Usually, it's best to choose the spellings that most humans are used to if you want them to understand what you write. After all, humans are creatures of habit--just like cats.”
Huh. I ben folloin a fyn tradishun. See, now this mayk sens to me. An akshul, I ben sorta folloin this advys sins befor I got it. Fer egsempl.
Mom keep tellin me that som lettrs don’t count as mutch as othrs. There’s lotsa tims when “gh” don’t mayk anee sound at all, an that jus seem sillee. How kin 2 hol lettrs not mayk a sound? OK, mebbe 1 don’t mayk a sound, but don’t the othr 1 eevn jus wisper a littul? So I thingkd about this a lot. An I thingkd, “Hm. That H don’t mayk mutch sound eevn when it’s maykin som sound. So it mosly don’t count. But that G thin happn mosly in yer throt. An also that G, speshul when it’s small, lik ‘g,’ look lik a kittee tail. An they’r well noen fer bein reellee qwyett, an still meenin a lot when they moov. So, OK, I kin figger the G, but that H gotta go.” So the werd mai mom spell "might" that soun like "mig-hit" I simpulfiez so it look rigt to them an also soun rigt to me, an also sensibul peeples.
Hoomin peeples thingks that I spell bad, but akshul, I’m thingkin about spellin almos all the tim. If I’m not jumpin! or pounsin! or runnin! or taykin a nap, is probabul that I’m thingkin about spellin. An suddenlee, I realyz how weerd that is, cuz it mayk me sound lik mai mom… Erg.