Dreem Catchin as a Hobbee

Musashi Sez:

Yu may not noe this, but the peeples whu wuz heer in Merika befor the Inglish an Frentch peeples came an tuk ovr ar called Naytiv Merikans. They coms in lotsa flayvrs, which we calls “tribes,” which is kinda lik famileez, onlee more so.

One of them tribes got this thing that is a circle with a web inside an som feathrz, an it is called a “Dreem Catchr.” Yu puts it on the wall of yer tent (or yer partmint) an it sucks the nightmayrz out of yer head or at leest out of yer house. That’s whut folks sez, but I don’t bleev it, myself.

Personlee, I thinks that whut yu reellee need is a kittee, lik me. I come an sit at mai Mom’s hed around 4 in the mornin, wen it is still dark an the bad dreemz thingk that they are sayf. They thingk that they kin jus dance around mai Mom’s hed wiftout havin to worree that they will get caugtid.

But they are rong. Becuz there is me to catch them an bring them to the dreem eqwiviileent eqwivla eq

I tayks them to Jayl. Huh.

An then, somtimz, if I ar luckee, Mom checks my fud bowl an seez if I needz mor fud. But that is egstra. That is NOT the reezon I pat her on the cheek til she wayk up. Nop. Of cors not.

I am depressd yu eevn thingk so. Huh.

Jayn Awsome an Authrz Lik That

Musashi Sez:

So Mom sed that I shud kyoor mai writr blok by writin about the weathr, but then I finded out that yesterdae wuz the 200^th anniversrree of Pryd an Prejoodis (altho not the one wift the zombeez, cuz that is mor reesint). Mai mom reeds this sorta old litrachoor. Peeples in Jayn Awsome’s books say werds like “esteem” an “amiable” an lik that. Wen she reed the books agen or watch the movie wift Emr Tompson, Mom start yoozin werds lik this until I kin hardly unnerstand her.

But the clothesez weren’t so bad. Yu cud be lik me, an wear a blak coat an a whit cucumberbund an a whit Ascot thingy, an peeples think that you are all formal an stuffs. An that fellr, Alan Rikmin, whu playd Perfessr Snap in the Harry Pottr mooveez, he also is the kinda gy whu kin be a Captin in the British Nayvee, wift a fansee yooniform, an a veree impressive hat wift lotsa gold brayd.

An they hads the icky weathr then too, jus lik we do, but they didn’t has Thinsulate or really big boots or extra purpul scarfs an stuffs lik that, so they probabul had lotsa coldz an flooz, not like us, who onlee has them sometimz, lik in Febrooraree.

An Jayn Awsome wuz not the onliest authr whu writid about this stuffs. There wuz this othr gy, Charlie Dickens, also writ about Inglund at this time, an if yu bleevz him, yu wud think that everyboddee in Inglud nue everyboddee else then. Which I personlee don't bleev. Huh.

But we are talkin about litrachoor, so I gess I cud be wrong.

My Big Ol Writr Blok

Musashi Sez:

I noe that I promisd to writ mor, but I has had the writr blok an it not look lik this, cuz if it did I wud hav the lettrs to mayk the werds. Mom sed I shud writ about mai blok, cuz then at leest I’d be writin, so heer we go.

I tried doin what she do, sittin on the littul rollee chair an tappity-tappin on the kapyootr keybord, but it not werk. Wen Mom do that, she gets all theez fansee sentinses an praragrufs. When I do it I get alphabit soop. Huh. 

So if yu got ideerz fer what I kin writ about, yu send them in the comments section an I answer yer qwestions an lik that. Cuz I getting perty bord chaysin my metrforicul tail. (Cuz only doggeez chays their akshul tails. But yu knue that.)

Cookin as a Art

Musashi Sez:

Wull, we has ben reedin our frend Amandr’s blog laytlee (she halped us last semester wen I gots glue on my feets). She writs about fud when she not halpin the halpless. Recentlee she an mai mom has been talkin about ruts an how they can experimentate to get out of them. So, fer example, Mom bougtid kumqwats, which I was generalee for cuz they are akshullee spelled lik yu’d expect, which is rare in my egsperiens. But she cooked them, an that turn out not so gud cuz they cook mor lik leminz than lik orinjiz. So Mom’s tongue got pickled.

I, on the othr paw, has been expgerimenting wift boot noodles. These are eevn betterer than shoe noodles, cuz they is longerer and has more heft. When yu has had a long day of nappin an scarin the birdeez off the ledgiz it is gud when somebody coms hom wift the boot noodles fer yu to plae wift.

Mom also lik the noodles to snak on, but not the ones in her boots. She perfer them wift soy saws, fer som reezin.

Mai Rezolooshunz

Musashi Sez:

Huh. Wull, I had ment to mayk rezolooshunz about writin mor, but I fergettid. An evree tim Mom is on the kapyootr typin, I gets all egsytid an we has to chays the red dot, whu is sekretlee a Robot Laydee Bug. Mom calls this “getting distractulayted” but I thinks of it as constructive perkastination, cuz I’m getting so mutch egsersize from runnin around in circles.

But meewhyl, I has rembembered that Art is mayd of stuffs othr than jus oil an watrcolrz. Akchoolee, art also incloood Dans an Skulptchoor an also Myoozik, so I has engajed resentlee in all of thees Artz. I wull tel yu about them eventchoolee, but rigt now, Mom wants to go to bed an she is getting crankee when I wayks her up at lik 4 in the morning an insists on playin at theez arts. So I has to sleep at nigt (ridikyoolus ideer) an onlee gives her mai inventive ideerz in the morning.

Becomin a Art Critik

Musashi Sez:

So I had desiderayted to studdee art instead of histree, which, aside frum the running an jumpin an shootin peeples, turns out to be kinda borin. But I notisst that all them battles an things had art piktchurz drawn about them, an that got me innerestid in art.

But it turn out that ther are lotsa kindsa art. Ther ar purformans art, which is lik peeple dansin an playin statchoo, and purtendin it all verree meeninful. Ther ar paintinz, lik the onez I has ben sharing wift yu fer mai histree entreez.

An ther ar Krayonz, which are the art I liks best. I eevn writs my blog wift them and drawrz the kindsa piktchurz I want mai mom to find on Googul Imijiz fer the blog. I writed this blog in green and bloo. That giv mai mom a sens of the eemoshunz I want to convay wift mai spellin. She seez how seeryus or sillee I am bein an then she piks out the spellin that will convay that bestest.

An ther are eevn arts wift peeples foldin paypr or kittehs, an maykin verree egsytin dezynz. This is not somthin kitteez do natchurlee, as the lak of disposable thumz mayk it hard to fold stuffs. So we has to leev this to the hoomin peeples if we is egspectin them to fold the fansee peesiz of paypr. Altho, if we wants to do kittee foldin, we kin do that ourselfs, cuz we are verree whut they calls flexsibbul.

But it turnz out that the peeples whu are the mos powerful in the Art Werld aren’t the artistes therselves. It ar the art Critiks, whu gets to complain about the art or say how wonnerful it is. They writs seeryus nots in their notbuks an then the artists eethr get ritch or suffr a lot an then mayks betterer art. At leest, that whut it soun lik frum my resertch.

So I figger, mebbe I kin beom a Art Critik. They’ll hav the Musashi Skool of Art Critikism, an peeples will has to not onlee say whut they thingks about the art, but they will also has to yooz mai creaytiv spellin.

But eevn if I stays a Merican Histreean, or possibul a ponee-ridin cowboy kittee, it turn out that Art isn't just about puttin somthin innerestin on paypr or in a myoozeeum. Lif kin be artistical, lik wen I, as a byooteeful blak kittee do whut they callz "strikin a poz," whutever that meen. Cuz them Frentch artistes has ben drawrin piktchurz of kitteez lik me fer hunnerds an hunnerds of yeers. An if that don't mak it ART, I doesn't noe whut does. 

Washinton Crossin That Rivr

Musashi Sez:

Okay, now we back to the 1770s, that crayzee tim in the Merican Revolooshun wen Disco Dansin was veree popyoolar, don’t asksk me why.

So the British had put the big taxes on the tea an the Merican colonists had gotten reellee hyped up on the coffee an started shootin the British, particlerlee heer in Boston, ovr on the Bunkr Hill. The British had to run away and so we chased them to Qebec, which is in Canada if yu kin beleev it, but it was verree cold ther, an the British had frends hidin in a fort an they chased us back souft again.

So Gorge Washinton put on his fansee yooniform an sed, “C’mon, Boyz! Up an at ‘em!” eevn tho it wuz Christmas Eve, nine monfts layter. An they all jumpd into a big canoo an sailed across the Rivr in lik Delawayr or Baltimor or somplays lik that. An they LEAPED! on the British from behind, cuz fer som reezon, the British wuz lookin the othr wae. And they winned!!!

An to celrbrayt, they had a big disco dans all wintr, wift the shiny light ball, eevn tho they din’t have mutch fud. An then they tuk bak Philrdefia, an som playsiz eevn furthrer souft. Altho I think that caym laytr.

I am getting bord wift histree now. I thingk I’m goin to go lern som stuff about Art. Huh.