Mor of That Blok Thin an How I Planz to Fix It

Musashi Sez:
 

So I has ben suffrin frum this wrytr blok thin now fer a cupla monfts, an it is no fun. Ther jus seem to be no storeez aneewher. Mom sez, “Whut about yer spai storeez? Or the cowboy kittee storeez? Or the storeez about yer planz fer werld dominayshun?”

Yah, thoz all sounz gud, but I jus cants git up mai enthooziazm fer them. Mom sez this tipikul of wrytrz. It kind of lik the “I gots a whol clozit full of clothz an nothin to wer” syndrum. Verree noyin.

But I doez has one ideer. It kinda desprit, but I feelin kinda desprit. See, I figgr ther ar storeez in othr playsiz, yu noe, lik in othr werlds. I has alwaes wantid to travul to Narnia, cuz I heer that Ceeling Cat liv ther, yu noe, in cogneeto. Also, ther lotsa sword figts, an that soun lik fun. Conveenyuntlee, Mom did som londree todae, so I shud be able to find the back of her clozit wift a little persistins.

An evrbodee noe that Narnia start wher the clozit end...

Mai Othr Collabraytr

Musashi Sez:
 

So it has occurrd to me that som of yu migts hav mistaked that mai nu bunnee frend wuz what mai mom call “reel.” I thingk that werd is not a gud werd fer whut we ar talkin bout heer. See, som peeples migt perzoom that jus cuz our nu frend is a bunnee, he migt has diffrunt waes of bein “reel” compayrd to yu an me.

So I is heer to tells yu that Floyd—I calls him Floyd—has nevr akshullee lived in the forist. We thingk he wuz bornd in Chynr, an caymed to us throo ships and traynz an big truks, an then a famblee wift a littul kid whu wuz orfullee cayrless. So Floyd (Yah, I noe he keep sayin, “Mai naym not Floyd!”), he cleerlee is onlee reel fer a givn value of “reel.” An Mom sez, “Huh, so lik the rest of us then?” I hayts it wen Mom get all trikee like that, speshullee wen I still gots no plot fer mai blog.

Aneewae, Happy Shaykspeer’z birftdae!

Post-Marathon an Post-Erth Dae Writr Blok

Musashi Sez: So I has ben havin the writr blok an no mistayk.
Evr time I gets up on the compyootr desk to writ,
Mom sez, “Musashi! Can’t yu see I is werkin heer?”

Which is perty big blok. But akshullee, I has tried writin wen mai mom wuzn’t around, an I has gotted no mor writin don in comparison. I is jus stukt. An this is akshullee surprizulaytin to me, cuz I reesintlee got a Plot Bunnee, whu now liv wift me an shud be halpin me mor. Mom findid him bak befor Eestr. He was lyin on the sidwok, all alon. It remindid her of me, when I wuz all lostid an alon so she bringed him hom. We has becom frends. But I keep waytin fer him to giv me halp wift mai writr blok, an mostlee he jus sit ther. 

Now, part of me sez, “Hey, thanklis bunnee, giv me halp!” But the othr part sez, “Huh, Musashi, yu hadz a whol monft to werk out yer Post-Trumatic-Lostid-Disordr. An he onlee a bunnee. Yu gotsta gives him mor time!” This whut happin wen yu hang out wift sombodee goin to ministr skool. Yu gets all pastoral an starts acktin lik a sheeps.

Huh. So aneeway, I am not promissin brillyunt plots anytime soon, cuz we has not gots them. But at leest now yu noez why. Now if onlee I cud fix this borked blogspot stuffs. Harrumph.

The AftrMafts!!!

Musashi Sez:

The lastest two weeks has ben a reel chor. In addishun to mai mom’s doin that whol theesis thin, and the Puttin the Ritz on EDS las Frydae, she has hads to do her othr jobs at playsiz. It has ben verree confuzzlin. We has ben listnen to Joolie Androoz an that noo laydee, Adel, an also som othr peeplz, whooz naymz I has fergettid. An then graydin payprz, lik that is importint. (I thingk it not, but she thingk it is.)

But, SHOWBIZ, that unholy kittee, has gottid our attenshun!!! We is thingkin about how we kin win her bak to our livin rum. Mom thingks that if she writs a myoozikul thin about the Writ Brothrz an their fayvrit laydee, Flyt, she will keep bizee enugf to be, yu noe, kinda sayn, eevn aftr gradjitayshun an stuffs in mid-May.

I thingks ther not enugf kitteez in teh storee to mayk it rivettin enugf fer anybodee to spend a hour or too on listenin to folks whu cannot fly figgr out how mebbe they migt lern to fly. Huh. I thingks this ridiklus. But I cud be rong.

We’ll jus havta see. Huh.

Spring Egzersizmint

Musashi Sez:

Wull, this week has ben the Ferts Dae of Spring, wift all them flowrz and birdeez an the noo "warm" thin lik what we did last yeer. Mom has the crankee about the warm cuz she sez them icy glayshrz ar meltin verree fast. I purrz loud to gets her mind orf it, an if that not werk, I run! verree fast! across the partmint! Somtim she chays me, so that boft givz her lotsa helthee egzersizement an also get her mind orf bad things.

Don't yu wish I livd wift yu?

Admitlee, ther is the Depooprayshun that mom has to do fer me, but hey, that's egzersizmint too--Deep Nee Benz, or mebbee The Benz, I fergits. Also, ther is the yogr postchur mom does when she clip mai toenailz, lik she wrap one leg aroun me an holds me wift one hand whil she yooz the Eevl Clipprz of Deth wift the othr one. It not egzactly a half Nelson, more like a three-quartr Nelson.

The byootee of all this egzersizmint, eevn the noying kind wher my toenailz (WHICH WER PERFICTLY FIN BEFOR!!!) gets shortr, is that Mom fergits about globular climit chaynj an somtimz remembrers to givs me a treet fer eetch foot. An yu noe, evrdae we gettin stronger an mor smartypants an mor redier for the Lympics.

Saynt Patrik an Plumbrz an like that

Musashi Sez:

Wull, the top of the morning stuff to yu. So we has hads the egsytmint theez las fyu dayz. The plummr caymd to fix the toylet an he figgrd out that the kitchin sink wuz not gud an mai roommayt toldid him about the baftroom sink problim, which he caymd bak to fix fer us. Now moslee stuff werks agen, altho I don’t unnderstan why I has to be IMPRIZND in MAI ROOM fer lik 2 WHOL DAEZ. Huh.

I meen, it not lik I wuz the one whu left lotsa pertee blond hayr in the showr, or draynd greas frum a fansee stayk dinnr into the sink. I not eevn YOOZ the baftroom sink, now that I am too big fer it. Altho, parintleet this noo one we jus got is lots biggr, so I mae reconsidr it fer the summr, wen I needs somplaes cool to sit…

Ok, I’m dun. Now I’m goin to go bak to mai fiers leprokon hunt in the kitchin. If I catch one it is a win-win-win, cuz I’ll have somthin to plae wift an choo on, an I kin leev it on Mom’s bed fer her to find lik a prezunt, an also ther maybe gold, which I heer is a verree yoosful thing to has.

Watchin the Ovn Verree Cayrful

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I has been suspishful of the Ovn fer quit a whil now. Somtim it mayk noiziz or has teh smellz that I not qwiet trust. So I has ben keeping track of it. Yu noe. I has scruncht belo the stool watchin! the ovn verree cayrfullee. Or, if I thinks that too overt, I has been lyin on the telrphon tabul thin, wift the stool next to it, an I has wacht from abov. An somtimz, when I verree weeeree frum all that watchin, I nod off on the stool from abov, but I am REDDEEE fer whutever com, and I will PONS! on it if I has to.

Mom approovz of this. She sez I am the Gardien of the Kitchin! (Somtimz she say I is SleepeeBunnee, but mostly I ignorz that. Huh.)

Mom sez soonr or laytr the landlord is goin to bring in the extreeminaytr, whu comz to extreme whutevr myciz we gots evr 6 monfts or so. So I shudn’t worree too mutch.

Meenwhil, she suddinlee reelyz that she gots to get a paypr perpozul into a confrens thin an so wuns agen she is scramblin. Yu’d think wift all this praktis she gots wift teetchin them kidz not to scrambul their writin that she’d noe not to do this hersalf, but no. Sigh.