Celibraytin Mai Adopshun Dae!!!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, todae is a speshul dae, cuz I has livd wift mai mom now fer 2 whol yeerz. Mom sang Fer He’z a Jolly Gud Fellr to me wen she wuz feedin me mai noms, an she givd me a nu toy, a cattrpillr gy wift bukwheet in him to mayk him cruntchee wen I squish his tummy. I lik his sounz. I also lik bells wift ballz in them—no, wayt, the othr wae round. An mom’s voice sayin, “Hnrf, yeah, I’m awayk, I feed yu,” or somtimz “Dinnr tim, Musashi, toonr, toonr, toonr,” or “Yu wants to plae wift the layzr pointr? OK!”

Also birdeez singin. An Mistr Tygr, when we wrasslz, sez, “Nommin yer hed! Nommin yer toez! Nommin yer tummy an yer Isles of Langerhans!” I not entirelee shur whut the Isles of Langerhans is, but mom sez they ar importint, an if I reellee want to noe, I shud sleep on the ensyclrpeedia.

Ovr at mai spy blog, the bunny rabbit writrz ar taykin the dae off, but yu won’t heer about it til tomorrer at the earliest, cuz aftr thoz crayzee gys has gon wild wift the gingko-infyoozd carrot joos, it tayk them a whil to recovr.

2 Lessins fer the Price of 1

Musashi Sez:

OK. It turn out that I fergettid to giv yu Lessin 2 last week, so heer it is:

Lessin 2: Sayv evrthin yu writ.

This is verree importint, cuz if yu don’t sayv an then yu want it laytr, yu’r outa luk. Mom has all theez funnee drawrz wift payprz in them, an she’s alwaes pullin stuff out an lookin at it an putting it bak. Writerz do that a lot.

Lessin 4: Plannin is larjlee a sub-con-shus act-iv-i-tee. So yu gotta tayk lotsa naps.

Writin an Percastinaytin

Musashi Sez:

So yu may hav notisd that I has not writid fer a few days. This is calld procastinaytin. Mai mom is a porcastinayshun egspert. Peeples has payd her to adviz their prorastsinayshun. So I pays lotsa attenshun to whut she sez about it.

In genrul, she is for it as long as it is the constructive typ. This means thins lik sharpenin yer pensils, eevn if yu writs on the compyootr, an taykin showrz (which I am agenst on prinsipl), but it not inclood, fer egsampl, goin to Noo York fer the weekend. Also, yu kin watch som cool moovee or TV sho on Netflix fer lik mebbe 45 minutes as long as yu then work reellee hard and writ lotsa stuff fer 15-30 minutes aftr that. An if yu don’t, yu has to wait haf an hour befor yu kin watch somthin els or mor of the saym.

So: Lessin 3:

Procrastinayt if yu has to, but be constructiv about it.

The Writin Lif

Musashi Sez:

I has a noo frend, namyd Dash. He is littul, onlee 2 monfts old, but he is naymd aftr a writr, an Mom sez he alreddee “spells betterer than yu, Musashi.” Huh. As if spellin wer the mos importinitest part of writin.

So I am goin to giv him (an yu) som gud writin advys. An becuz Dash is a bounsee, Tiggr-lik individjooul (kinda lik mai grandpa, onlee lots mor), I’m goin to mayk the lessins nys an short.

Lessin 1:

Don’t worree about thumz. Compyootrz ar the grayt eeqwulyzrz. If yu kin dans on the keybord, yu kin writ.

Som Oldz fer Yu to Pondr

Musashi Sez:

So, yu migt aks, whut kinda egsyting things ar happenin in Musashi’s lif? Well, I tell yu.

Las week wuz Fathr’z Dae, so I sendid 2 bellee-rubz to mai granpa by phon. I culdn’t talk to him maiself cuz I had to wash mai toez, an I got lotsa toez, an somtimz I looz trak an has to start from the begginin agen. So it kin tayk all morning, an then I has to tayk a long nap on the coutch to recovr.

So then Mom went out to get “celery” an wen she caym bak, she wuz ALL WET! I cud heer her comin up the stayrz outsid an her sneekrz wer goin Sqwishee! Sqwishee! So of cors I mayd her tayk them off befor she caym insid, but then eevn her jeenz wuz all Sqwishee Sqwishee, so I mayd her climb in the baft-tub to get chanjed. She sed it wuz uz of all the rayn that wuz raynin outsid, but the rayn moslee stoppt aftr she got her dry clothz on so I figgr she musta yoozd it all up.

That wuz a Sundae. The nex dae wuz first dae of Summr, an we had a partee, tho I’m not shur why cuz noboddee got bornd or adopted unless it wuz that Appollo fellr. But I got to meet a buncha mom’z noo-er frenz (cuz of cors I alreddee noez her old onez).

Aneewae, that’s why it wuz so importint to get “celery,” which Mom sez is ironic, cuz celery is moslee wadder aneewae. Huh.

Creaytiv Joosiz Leeking Out

Musashi Sez:

OK! OK! I noe it has ben a whyl sins we put out a seeryul of mai wild adventchurz wift the innernashunnl spy commyoonitee, but we ben verree bizzee. The bunneez whu writ mosta this blog wer threatenin to go on stryk agen, an this tim it wuz mai falt fer shur.

(***Sigh***)

See, I wuz talking to mai prodooser about how cool Buffee the Vampyr Slayr is, an she toldid me about “Buffee: the Myoozikul,” an I thogtid a lightbulb! An we ralleed around a pertend piano an had a braynstorm.

But the Bunneez hopt ovr an sed, “We did not com heer to writ a myoozikul, an we certenlee didn’t com to sit around whyl YU writ a myoozikul.”

An then we herd about the yoonion negosheayshunz between the Gild of Myoozikul Artists an the Actorz’ Eqwitee.

The Cheef Writr Bunnee sed, “We let yu get aweae wift the flamenco sene last tim cuz it wuz funnee an yu din’t hav the whol cast singing an dansin. Fightin, shur. Fightin is OK. But dansin? Huh. That NOT in our contrak.”

So we wer bak at the drawin bord, and this time we wer yoozin crayonz, cuzs they didn’t skayr the Bunneez so mutch. An meenwhyl, we sugjestid that the Bunneez tayk a Long-Dezervd Vaycayshun somwher egzotik. We tossd ideers around, lik Tyland, Japann, Chynr, an lik that. But the Bunneez hads studdeed Spanish, so they desydid to go to the Gulf of Meksiko, hopin they cud scout some gud lokayshunz fer the blog an be abul to writ off the cost of the trip.

In whut mai mom callz “retro-spek,” I’m gessin that yu kin see whut’s comin….

An Speakin of Scents…

Musashi Sez:

So! I ben thingkin lots about how els I kin brayk into innernashunl stardom.

Mom won’t by me a ponee, so the cowboy-kittee-movee plan has gon kaputz.

She dozn’t beleev that kitteez kin sit still an behayv on cue in the moveez (i.e., akt), so she isn’t writin kitteez into her skreenplaes. So I am on plan 5 or D or somthin.

So I wuz thingkin—I doz this a LOT; I gets it from mai Mom—thingkin HARD about whut els them celebrittee typs do that migt get me the kinda ‘tenshun I’m lookin fer, that will get me a job in Stardom.*

An then I thingkd verree hard, an I thogt, HAH, smellz! Kitteez ar verree gud at smellin thinz an hoomin peeples spend lotsa monnee on maykin theirselvs smell gud. I cud be lik all them hot starz that mayk their own perfyoomz, lik J.Lo, Uma Thrmin, Tim MGraw, an Daniel Craig, an all of them types.**

I figgrd, there’s all kindsa scents that kitteez wud jus LOV!

Ther’z Le Littre, Narcissus Noir, Chat-de-Mer, Dunghill fer Men, White Shutters, Flannel #5, Flannel fer Guyz, Littre Flambé à M. Yves St. Larree, Le Sloth par Gucci, Hweetweetweet par les Birdes, etc.

Oh! Ther ar so manee egsytin smellz, yu can’t eevn imajin!!!!

So I ben thingking about comin out wift mai own lyn of Perfyoomz an Insted-of-Shayvs. Fer example, I ben thingkin of Olde Catnippe, Shedding Time, Eau de Felin, and English Fuzz. We cud start ther an then evenchualee end up wift a empyr!!! A verree smellee empyr! An how mutch fun wud that*** be!!!


Truft in Advertyzin:

* This is to the Norft of Holleewud.

**OK. Daniel Craig, as far as I noez do not have connekshun wift aneeboddee’z perfyoomz. I jus throo him in ther cuz he SHUR to get mai mom’z attenshun. SSSHHH. Don’t yu tell her!!! Kthxbai.

***I yoozd lots of Italics cuz the Italics Societee of America givd us a $27 grant fer this heer particler blog. (Kin yu jus imajin whut I cud hav acheevd if they had gived us the $46 grant???)