Mai Pertee Gud Weekend

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I had a pertee gud weekend yestrdae. Mom an me sleept in an then we gots up layt an she chased me! Verree Fast! Across the room! Then I tukt a nap in the bak room whil she eatid brekfist. Aftr that she wuz typin an I went in an draggd her awae from the kapyootr an mayd her chase me! Agen! She is aktchoolee verree fast fer such a big persin. She offin catch mai tail. Cleerlee, I needs mor praktis. I hoep to get som in whil she is on vacayshun.

We also playd wift mai noo toy. She gottid it fer me about a year ago, but I onlee just notissd it. It is a big bloo circle like one of them baygul thins wift the creem cheez, egsept this not have anee cheez. It is hollo an has a ball in it that goes around an around. It is rivittin! But it is mutch bettrer to plae wift this wen Mom is hom, cuz she halps.

See, I layz down on one side an puts one arm in on eethr side. Then I bats the yellr ball bak an forft wift mai pawz. This is ok until the ball gets stuk on the othr side wher I not can reetch, an so if Mom isn’t ther to bat it bak to me, I has to get up an go do somthin els. But if she’s ther to plae wift me, then we gets a Volly goin, and kin plae fer lik TEN WHOL MINITS!!! at a tim.

And then I gets tierd an has to climb up on mai goldee pillo on the cowtch an tayks a nap.

It is verree strenyoous livin mai lif. Huh.

2 Lessins fer the Price of 1

Musashi Sez:

OK. It turn out that I fergettid to giv yu Lessin 2 last week, so heer it is:

Lessin 2: Sayv evrthin yu writ.

This is verree importint, cuz if yu don’t sayv an then yu want it laytr, yu’r outa luk. Mom has all theez funnee drawrz wift payprz in them, an she’s alwaes pullin stuff out an lookin at it an putting it bak. Writerz do that a lot.

Lessin 4: Plannin is larjlee a sub-con-shus act-iv-i-tee. So yu gotta tayk lotsa naps.

Nappin is Reqwyrd! Huh.

Musashi Sez:

OK! So I ben reedin (or, akshul, sleepin on) the saym books that mai mom is reedin fer skool. An this fall, that meen the Old Baibul that Mom an our frends (that be moslee our frens whu beleevs in bein Joowish or Crischun) spend tim reedin, so they kin figgr out whut Ceiling Cat is egspektin them to do wift their lyvs.

I wuz hopin I cud avoid the bit about hoomin peeples bein created, but no such luck. So heer it is, the Revyzed (by Mom) Standard (by hundreds of othr translaytrz) Lolcat Version, or the RSLV of the end of that storee I wuz tellin yu about befor. (An if yu wants to reed the whol thin, yu kin chek it out at http://www.lolcatbible.com. But I’m warnin yu, is reellee long. Reeeellee looooong. An that also wer pikchurs com from.)

Genesis 1:26-2:1-3 Ceiling Cat iz waching yu...

26 An Ceiling Cat sed, letz us do peeples like u, becuz we iz teh qte, an let men pOwnzOr becuz tehy has can openrz.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeples taht wuz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, men an women wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed, O hai maek bebehs kthx, an pOwn teh waterz, no waterz an teh firmmint, an evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sed, Beholdt, the Urths, I has it, an I has not eated it. 30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, an teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. Kthxbai.

1 An teh skyz an teh Urths wur finishd, an al teh stufz in dem, an Ceiling Cat was liek al tired an stuf. 2 An on teh 7f day Ceiling Cat got dun makingks al dat stuf; an he restd on teh 7f day cuz he wuz poopd frum al dat werkin, an not liek havng himself alone. An he not get payd ovrtym eethr.

3 Ceiling Cat blessd teh 7f day, an sed itz teh hOliezOrz; cuz dats when he restd frum all his werk wich Ceiling Cat creatd an maed. Yay holy Caturday!

Mom Translates:

The words “pOwnzOr” and “pOwn” are like “pounce” and “power” and some other words that people who write in TextSpeak like to write. It is apparently important that you write them with zeroes. Don’t ask me why.

Musashi Sez:

Now hoomin peeples probabul thingk that the reellee importint bit is the bit wher hoomins get all creaytid. But that’s jus extra. The troolee importint bit is the nappin. Cuz wen yu does hard werk, yu gots to rest an nap and then stretch an then nap som mor. That a thin Ceiling Cat sez in this book that I kin totallee get behin. Huh.

That Midwinter Nap-thing, and More

Musashi Sez:

OK. So yu hav ben listenin to humin peeple's myoosic for the last 3 or 4 weeeks, an yer brains is mushy. Is natchural. That fa lalala cud make Mister Einstin's brain mushy in a day or 2. I kin help yu wift that. Furst, yu needs to hav a nap. Nappin is the anser to mos thins. Srsly. Sekind, yu needs better myoosic. I'm workin on that. This is Musahsi's Carrol-song TRANSLATION PROJECT. I'm goin to traslayt humin carrol-songs into kittee langwaje: lolcat. It's a differkult projekt, but I'm a perty smartypants kittee. I'm going to start wift "Good King Where'sMySausage" and go on from ther. If yu has sepifsick. no spersepfik, no, spec, no, ERGMeerp Meep MeerUp?.

If ther's a song yu wants tranzlaytid, yu jus e-mail me, OK? Gud.

Mom Explains:

He's not joking, not about the importance of the Nap, not about the importance of Songs. So let us know what you are most interested in hearing translated. Please. Or he'll just make something up.