Wull, I wuz goin to tell yu about the Frentch an Indyun War, but othr things has happind that are mor importint. It turns out that my Onkul Me2 has gon to see Ceiling Cat, cuz his othr livs got yoozd up an he wanted to spend the last one watchin peeples from the clouds an, fer som rezon, playin the harp.
I akskd my mom why he wud be wantin to play the harp wen he not got the disposabul thumz, but she sez that in yer 9th life, wen yu wift Ceiling Cat, he mayks the egseptshunz to the normul phyziks. So mai Onkul Me2 is probabul playin “I Hot-Bludded,” “Moonin Yer Rivr,” an “Wut’s up, Honkee Cat?” wift borro-ed thumz. An also bitin St. Mike an cuddlin up to that Frentch gal, Joan, who cleerlee needed mor kitteh-nappin in her life, an also sertchin the werld fer the paytrin saynt of coffee, so as to scratch her to deth. Cuz the coffee is whut kept him frum havin the mostst tim wift the lov of his lif, whu ar Meredift.
So all this is to sae yu shud all tayk the next 9 daes or so an do that whol morning thin, wher yu notis the birds whu ar singin in the mornin an thank them fer singin an stuffs lik that. If yu ar Joo-ish, yu needs to sit on a verree lo ottrman whil yu ar doin this stuffs.
Then yu has to promis yerself that the next aminul companyun yu invites to yer hous will be a stray/furrul/or reskyoo one.
Mai Onkul Me2 wud lik that.