Mai Noo Job Oppertooniteez!

Musashi Sez:

So now that all our gests is disappeared bak to the snowy tundrer, I has decided that I need a noo job. I hav been considrin offerz, most spesifikallee the one from Ellen Degeneres about halpin her host the Oscar the Growch Awards in Februarereree. Also, there is a spot gardin Noo York from evil super heroes, or, as Mom call them, Sooper Villenz.

Also, I has thogtid about being a Sooper Villen Maiawk===N Maiself, a.k.a., the CLAWR.

(Sorry. I got all egsytied about halpin Mom typ!!!).

Mom sez if I ar goin to be a Sooper Villen, I has to has a Back Story which Hold the Key to mai Evilness. Huh. Who noo?

If yu has som ideers about how I migtid have gotten to This Sorree Pass, I am open to herein yer ideers. Thank you.

M, the C!!!!

Mor on Yogi Ber

Musashi Sez:

Wull, now I am thinking that Mom has ben getting into all this yoger stuffs becauz of her advanced age. It seem that, in kittee years, she is lik three hunnert something and a half, as of yesterday. If I were that old, I wud try ancient Indian egzersize too!!! Just lik that anermayted feller from her egstreem yooth, Yogi Ber and his friend Booboo (whu is also a bear, but littler, an also somtimes smarterer). When Mom was a hoomin kitten, she watched their TV show a lot, so she thinks he is kinda great. It has just taken like 200 kittee years fer her to akshullee decide to foller the yoger way.

Luckily I am onlee five and a whole lot (not quite six yet). My birftdae is comin up, just in case anee of yu fans want to sends me a present…I quite lik the prezents!

Meanwhile, I has been sittin on the desk whil Mom [trying to] is typin awae at her steampunk novel. I keeps telling her that she shud have a Pointer View character whu is a kittee person, preferabul one whu also has the cool brass Victorian Teknologee. She tell me there will be a kittee, but not in a Pointer View capapsity. Or somthin.

Mostlee, she just hit “save” an then pull up that yogr video and get down on the floor an grunt a lot. Sigh.

Yogi Ber an Stuffs Lik That

Musashi Sez:

So Mom got this yoger video an she was tryin to do the yoger stuffs lik the gy on the video. I gots so innerested that I got down there on the floor wift her to watch up close. She wuz all shakey cuz she is not yoozed to yoozin her muskles like that, an also wift the breethin. If she were a kittee, she wud hav been doin this stuffs since she was veree littul, lik me.

I not noe why she needs a video, since I do that stuffs all the time. I cud teetch her Kittee Yoger. She not need that Yogi Ber gy to demonstrayt the moovs. Huh.

A Nu Post Cuz I Gots Dsitractulayted...

Musashi Sez:

Wull, life here is interested. Cuz our Russhian roommate has had her parentz visitin fer like a whole four weeks. This, Mom tells me, is odd, cuz heer in Merica, nobodee gets more than one week, a week and a haf, or tops, two weeks of vaykayshun!

And as a ADJUNCT perfesser, she gets two monfts of unemployment, but that is differments.

So she gots theez Russhian parentz of her roommate who hav been heer fer almost 4 weeks, an the feridgiaytor is full of stuffs. (Luckily, my can of fud not tak up too mutch room!) The bigggest problim is that the erfidgiator is full of vegetubbuls an froots an meets an stuffs. Mom open it an look and close it, and then shuffle into our bedroom, mutterin about fishes an house-gests an time, an other stuffs that not make a whol lotta sense to me.

So I has been nappin near her pillo wher her hed goes, and she has been dreamin about funnee peoples moovin our erfidgiator into the baftroom, and moovin the couch wher noo peoples sleep in the kitchun.

Her brain are a wierd playse to be and that is all I kin sae! Huh.

Meanwhile, yu wud think I wud hav learned more Russhin, like, fer exampel, "Musashi, do you noes when yer Syoozin is comink hom? Cuz the kitchin is brokin agen."

But still all I noes is: "Hello, thank-you, comrade, cheers!" and like that. Also mebbe, "Please an thank yu."

Firstest Sunny Day in a Whil

Musashi Sez:

So natchrallee I sleeped most of the dae an Mom worked on the great Merican novel. Whut did yu gyz do???

My Attempt at Cookin

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Musashi Sez:

Wull, so on Fridae, I was thinkin about how Mom alwaes come home tired an she cooks her fuds, wift the saighin and gruntin, which I figger means, “Why not the fud cook itself fer Me? Huh!”

So I disiderayted to cook fer her. But that not go so gud. See, I not tall enugf to see into the pantree shalf wift her stuffs. An I not allowed to yooz the Stov, cuz it gots too much hots fer a littul gy lik me!!! An the toster oven livs on top of the erfidgiator, wher I kin not reaches it.

So this leevs me wift the nookleaytor/microwayv thin, which has a easy dial that I figger I kin werk, an also, cookin wift it nevr tayk more than one or two minits.

But then I has to figger out what I cooks wift it. An all Mom has got that I kin retch is in the vegetabbul basket. An it onlee got onions (which I am not allowed to tutch, cuz they is BAD fer kitteez!!!) an whit an orinje pertaytoes. But Mom alwaes peels pertaytoes wift the funnee peeler masheen which reqwire posabul thumz, which I has not got.

So I figgered, mebbe it wud be betterer if I jus do a extra amount of purrin wen Mom akshully cook fer herself, an mebbe the purrin will mak her feel like it not taykin quit so long.

Darn them thumz aneewae.

Mor Writin Block

Musashi Sez:

So I has been sittin in my bed thinking about my blog an not comin up wift stuffs. I has looked at my mom’s friends’ blogs about stuff like Indian food an books an pancakes, but they not help me. Mom keeps complainin about how I alwaes walks on her keybord, but I not ALWAYS do that, onlee sometimes, when I am lookin fer inspiration.

At this rate, I may has to send Mom out to nother movie or I’m not goin to hav anything to writ about at all. Sigh.