Waykin UP the Hard Wae

Musashi Sez:

Som gyz musta ben sneekin into mai bedrum wae erlee in the mornin, cuz they mayd a hox videeo of me an mai mom tryin to get her out of bed. Wull, she don't trai so hard as I do. This videeo got it wrong: It has the blak cat wift the whit cummerbun sayin whut mai mom sez an the orf-camra vois-ovr is sayin whut I allus sez. So yu has to imajinayt a bit to watch this an figger whut our mornins is lik.

The moovee is rigt heer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjZrUn03kXI&NR=1


The imijiz com from Simon's Cat, in partiklr, the episod, "Cat Man Do." In Jermin that's "Katz im Morgen." Jus in cays yu is or talks the Jermin.

Abov an Ovr Away from Mai Dootee

Mom Says:

I’d like to thank Musashi for so patiently listening to me give my presentation on Gothic cathedrals last night, staying awake during it, and giving me valuable feedback on what to cut. He also gave me Speshul Kittee Shiatsu on the 2nd and 3rd chakras this morning, to get my enthusiasm and spiritual power, and apparently digestion, working extra well. My presentation was well received.

Musashi Sez:

Yus, and jus to sho yu I reellee wuz lisnin, I tells yu whut I lernd about thoz Goth’s catheedrulz. First, they happened in citeez wher ther lotsa peoplez and monnee to pae them all. Cuz theez importint biship gyz wantid to figt heresee, which is lik, not agreein wift biships.

This Abbot naymd Sugar (but he was Frentch, so his naym shudda been Sucre, huh) inventid Goth, which had lotsa ligts and ordrz. They cud do this cuz they had all theez new compyootrz eevn tho they didn’t have rulerz. So I gess they went on the innerwebs an ordrd all thoz ligts onlyn.

Mom Sez:

Um, Musashi, not all technology is electronic.

Musashi Sez:

Hush. I telling whut I lernd, not whut yu thingk yu teetchd.

Aneewae, as I wuz sayin befor I wuz so roodly inneruptid, theez Bildr Bob gyz, they putted piktchurz of themselves on the wallz somtimz, lik in the bakgroun behin that Jeezus fellr. An somtimz they puttid the Gild logos on the windoz if a Gild had givd them monnee, cuz Goth is verree egspensiv. Somtimz they eevn puttid piktchurz up way high in back of pillrz an stuff, wher noboddee cud see them egsept Ceiling Cat an the gy wift the reellee, reellee tall laddr whu go up ther to cleen evr 500 yeerz or so.

Cuz yu reellee don’t want Ceiling Cat bord. He migt pouns yer toez!

Thangksgivin!

Musashi Sez:

Mom's home1!! And she cleend mai littr boks!!!

The Layterest Jok

Musashi Sez:

Luk at this heer piktchur. It has got a verree funnee jok on it. Whut yu gots to unnerstan is that a alpaca is a kind of donkee, or a lama, that go around wift theez prayr flags, like that gy Dalai. Then it ar a plae on werds. It took Mom a whil to egsplayn it to me, but akshullee now it mayk me larf.

Hnurf, hnurf, hnurf!

Bein Sik is No Fun, or So I Heerz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, call me a ministrerin aynjl, cuz mai mom is almos helthee agin. All week she kept maykin funnee noyzis: corf! corf! corf! An then, snorfl! snorft!

Veree uncomfrtabul soundin. An then her hed egsplodz. An she has to yooz the whit tisshoo thin to cleen it all off her fays. An then corf! corf! Heer we goz agin.

But I halpded her. I givd her Kittee Shiatsu, cuz evrboddee noe that putting littul preshrz on the thigh an abdomonimum mayks the chi floe bettrer an that mayks yu helthee.

Huh. Gud thin she gots me around!

Mor on Them Egstra Holee Typs

Musashi Sez:

So I am thingkin about maykin mai own Egstra Holee Peeples Book, an drawin the piktchrz fer it. I dozn’t call them “saints” cuz that werd sugjest that onlee hoomin peeples kin be holee, an if yu looks at histree, yu kin see that ar ridiklus. So I yooz “egstra holee” instead. Langwidj is importint. (Spellin, not so mutch.) This why I insist on yoozin mai naytiv LOLCat to writ in.

In mai book, I goin to inclood a few hoomins, lik Noah, an Jayn Goodal, an that English fellr William Wilberforce whu co-founded the Royal Societee fer the Pertekshun of Aminals. But mostlee, they will be all them aminal holee peeples whu alwaez gets leftid out of the hoomin books:

Egstra Holee Buffalo: Martyr of America. Nuff sed.

Egstra Holee Tygr: This gy in hidin, moslee, to keep frum bein a martyr, which mayk mutch mor sens to me. He meditayts a lot, offin whil lyin on a tree brantch, which is not so eezee as it look.

Egstra Holee Kittee of Norwich: Whil this kittee’z naym has not com down to us, we ar pertee shur that she tol that laydee Julian evreething she nue about Ceiling Cat.

Egstra Holee Bernard of the Alps: Obveeuslee. Eevn the hoominz agree on him. But they wud, cuz he careez brandee around wift him.

Parentlee, ther also is St. Roch's Doggee frend, an som big whyt bull in Spayn. But, this will get me startid fer now. I gots to go fyndz mai crayonz. Kthxbai.

Egstra Holee Peeples

Musashi Sez:

OK, lik I promist, I’m goin to tell yu about this egstra holee gy, Fransis. But B4 I do that, I has to egsplayn whut a egstra holee peeple is. Jenrulee, they is calld “saints,” but I not lik that word. I slept on this ol book mai mom has, a calendr of the saints. I lookd up mai birftdae, Febrooaree 8, and the saynt fer that dae is John of Matha (1213): "He was the cofounder with Saint Felix of Valois, of the Order of Trinitarians for the redemption of Catholic captives who were taken by the Mohommedans" (Slaves 11). Wull, that not rigt. It shud be King Arthr. Huh.

Mom Says:

Um, King Arthur isn’t actually a saint…

ME: Reellee? How about Galahad? He a pertee holee gy.

MOM: Um, no.

ME: Why no?

MOM: Well, maybe because he got taken up into heaven with the Holy Grail and they couldn’t find his bones. People like to have saints’ bones to put in church altars and like that.

ME: That’s yukkee.

MOM: Yes. Yes, it truly is.

ME: Huh. Wull, anneewae, the othr big problem wift this pertiklr saint book is that 1) all the saints is hoomin, an 2) a whol lot of them is calld “Glorious Virgin Martyrs,” (Mom tried to egsplayn this to me, an tho I not cleer on it, it souns lik they all got taken to the vet).

MOM (changing the subject): The vast majority are also Roman Catholic.

ME: Huh. That jus relijun. Relijun not got a whol lot to do wift bein holee.

MOM: That’s a point of view, certainly. I tend to agree. Not everybody would.

ME: It MAI blog! Noboddee hav to agree wift me!

MOM: Good point. Well, what do you think of those other books I let you sleep on?

ME: The shinee blu one yu gots fer skool was lumpy. An tho it hads a wydr divrstee of peeples, they all still hoomin. I not imprest. Also, ther not piktchrz. Huh. An aneewae, it not gots a saint fer mai birftdae. I hopes they not waytin fer ME!!! I not goin to do that sorta stoopid saynt-stuff. Yu gets killd that wae, an when yu'r a aminal, yu gets killd reellee eezy aneewae. So, yah, I not imprest.

MOM: How about the new one with the big pictures?

ME: Hmf. Yus, this betterer. It got this laydee Joan wift some butterflyz, altho they dozn’t tell the nayms of them. An they got Kateri of the Iroquois wift her turtul buddee, altho they dozn’t sez his naym eethr. An Julian an her kittee are heer. I lik them bestest.

Works Cited
Chittester, Joan. A Passion for Life: Fragments of the Face of God. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis, 1996.
Holy Women, Holy Men: Celebrating the Saints. NY: Church Publishing, 2010.
Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Saints to Remember: From January to December. Still River, MA: 1961.