Hulloween Skayreez!!!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, todae is Hulloween, when gosts and umpires an othr skaree typs jumps out from behind bushiz an cowchiz an yells, “Hullo!”

Mai mom wentid to costoom parteez on Satrdae, dressd as a Scottish vampyr, which meant she looked lik me wayrin a pladd vest. But her vest is too big fer me (an also kinda loud), so I jus go as a Vampyr. When I rollz upsid down, yu kin see mai skayree fangz.

Hullo!

(Yu skayrd yet? Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!)

Mom Says:

For those of you who don’t speak Musashese, that is the sound of a smartypants laughing. Also, you should know that this photo is actually of Musashi himself, not a cat-fang model or a cheezactr. Photo by ©Michelle Peoples 2011.

Mai Akshul Holloeen

Musashi Sez:

So. Lastest nigt, Mom an Me celebraytid Holloween in our diffrint waez. She went to a partee held by my ol frend Lizzlbet an her buddeez. She went as me—not mai kittee me, but my innr Japneez samurai worrier me: Musashi Miyamoto. I stayd hom as Mom. I thogt about Ceiling Cat verree deeply, an fell asleep on her histree buk. I know it wuz the bestest one of her cherch histree buks, cuz she fallz asleep on it all the tim.

Now on one paw, this wuz less egsytin than I hads ben thingking. But I has desydid that the Shinkansen—the bullit trayn—is not so mutch a costoom as a spritual praktis. The wae I seez it, Ceiling Cat has to zoom! around! everwher! all the tim! verree fastest! to bring toyz to gud littul kitteez (an occayzhunul doggeez, birdeez, ottrz, chipmonks, an lik that) all ovr the werld.

Or mebbe that’s Santy Clawz…

Mom Says:

You’re not the only one who gets them confused.

Musashi Sez:

Huh. I shud thingk so. I meen, I eevn gets confuzzled whil wayrin Mom’z smartee-pants glassiz!

Full Disclosure:

Musashi did not in fact wear his mother’s glasses last night, as she needed them herself. As she pointed out, if you’re going to carry a wooden sword around, it’s best that you can see who it is you are choosing to smack or not smack with it, such as, say, Peter Pan. The above picture is a media stand-in for Mr. Musashi. Not Figure 3; Figure 3 is real. Figure 2 is, well, not so much.

Mai Holloeen Opshunz, I

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I am off to a layt start figgerin out mai Holloeen costoom, maynlee cuz Mom wuzn’t plannin on goin anywher an then she got invitid to a partee wift som of her old frendz. So then I thogt, if she is goin to be somboddee els, then so is I! Huh.

So heer ar mai firstest thogts.

1. Catbus (from the moovee Mai Neighbor Totoro)

Jus becuz the reel catbus is orinjee-brown is not to mattr, cuz Mom has a tweed jakit I kin borro, altho it haz the long arms. Also, evr tim I try to git them four mousees into playse on my bak, they falls off giggling.

2. A Black Crayon

For this one I wud need to borro Mom’s grey jakit, but she won’t let me drawr on it.

3. Baysmint Cat

All I’d need to do is to hyd mai whit bits an paktis yoozin mai layzr eyz!!!

4. Jimbond (the old standbai)

Or, possibul, the oatmeal Qwaykr gy.

Ther is so mannee possibuliteez, an so littul tim… But I is opin to ideerz from all 3 of mai reederz... So whatchu thingk?

MOM KIN’T SPEL!!!

Musashi Sez:

(Sigh!) I loves mai mom. She kin be verree cool, lik wen I wants to unnerstan the inner werkins of her printr an she tellz me that mai paws cud mayk it not werk, so she stan ther to keeps me from tutchin it but she don’t throws me out into the livin room. Cuz she unnerstan how amayzin that whrrrrr! sound is! Jus lik the DVD playr, almos.

But she not alwaez so gud at LOLCat speek. She alwaes tryin to yooz whut the Frentch callz “Foz-ameez” or fals frenz, werds that soun the saym in yer langwudj, but don’t meen the saym thin. So yestertsdae, I tol her I wanted to dress up like goetz, an she talks about beerdz and othr stuff, but she soun lik she unnerstan, so I dozn’t thingks mutch mor abouts it. Then this mornin, she tellz me about the costoom she thogted up fer me, wift a beerd and hornz and eevn hoofs!!!

An I sez, “Whut’s that???”

An she sez, “Is goets costoom, lik yu sed.”

An I sez, “That not a goets. A goets go “Whuuu-ooooo! an floets aroun in yer closit. An mebbe he som ded gy whu can’t tayk the nap, so he gots to floets aroun. I don’t thingk he gots to hav beerd. An them hornz an hoofz are kinda judjmentl, dontchu thingk?”

“Wait!” she sez, lookin all confuzzld. “Yu meens ghost?”

An I sez, “Yah, yu kin call it goast if yu wantu.”

An aftr that it tukt som time, so we din’t get a gud pikchur of me, but if yu imajin all the orinj parts on this pikchur to be blak, the yu gots the right ideer!

Eevn Mor Costoom Ideerz

Musashi Sez:

It turn out that perpayrin fer HolloWeen is compulkaytid. Well, at leest we got mom all set. I thingk she’ll mayk a verree good Captin Crunch, altho she doesn’t seem so shur. But she can’t be a samurai. She did that las yeer.

Meenwhyl, I ben surfin on the interwebs fer mor ideers, an heer’z whut I com up wift.

Ferst, ther is Robn Hud. He the fox that stolt from the rich peeples an givd the monee an fud an stuff to the poor peeples. He hadsd a bow an arroz an cud aim verree gud wift them. He also leepin over walls an havin pikniks in the forest, wher all them treez ar. An he had a reellee impressive tayl, lik me.

Then, ther that speedee gy, Lans Armstrong. I has invisibl bysikul, so all I needs is a yello shert. An I zooms! around the hous an okayzhunallee stops fer a dringk of waddr, aftr I wins eetch stayj of mai big Frentch contest. (Is jus pertend—I not reellee goin to Frants. I migt run into maiself ovr ther, an they sez that’s danjrus.)

An speekin of speedee, I also ben thingkin about bein Mistr Toad. He was sorta lik a frog but he had a cool hous an lotsa monnee and he gotst into trubbul wift his frends all the tim, espeshul wift his rays car. So I cud be zoomin! around wift this costoom too.

So. Whutchu thingk? Doez yu gyz hav anee betterer ideers? I is all eers, egsept wher I am a tayl, which is a lot.

Nu Ideerz fer Hallo-Ween

Musashi Sez:

So mai mom wuz lookin on the interwebs fer a gud pikchur of folks lik me figtin in a bar figt, an among all the rong pickchurz wuz one of Captin Crunch. He is a seeryul saylor, lik on a bot, an he has a reellee cool costoom, so now I am considerin bein him when I dress up to be somboddee eltz this yeer. Mom sez that his costoom sugjest that he wuz figtin in the Napoleen Warz. To this I sez, Huh, yu don’t say.

An Mom sez, “Um, Musashi, you do know who Napoleon was, don’t you?”

“Som gy whu started som warz?” (This is a trik mom togt me herself. Is calld contestualizayshun, but yu don’t uzhual win aneethin.)

“Yes…He was a lot like Alexander the Great.”

“A littul gy whu wuz doin that Werld Dominayshun thing?”

“Exactly!”

“Huh. But Captin Crunch jus a seeryul gy, rigt? He not tayk ovr aneebodee’s contree, rigt?”

“Not as far as I know.”

“OK! Then cud you mayk me hiz hat an them cool yellow brayded sholdr thins?”

Mom lookst at me verree seeryuslee. She sez, “Hm. Well, I could make a paper hat, but I don’t think you have enough shoulders to make the epaulettes work.”

I sigd. “Wull, ok. Then YOU be Captin Crunch an I be comin up wift anothr ideer.”

Hallo-Ween is Comin!

Musashi Sez:

I wuz jus lookin at Mom’s calendr, an it sez that HalloWeen is comin nex week, so I gots to figgr out a reellee gud costoom to wayr. Peeples has givd me the yoozhual sugjestshuns: blak cat (huh, so orijinul), vampyr (whut am I? som sparkul gy?), spy (yah, an mom’ll go as a Inglush teetchr), an Boheemian arteest. Now that las one don’t sound so bad, altho I don’t noe if I kin keep one of them barayz on mai hed so gud. But I does lik drorin pikchrz. Mom droo a pikchur of a fish at church tonigt, but she has a stranj church. But it a verree good drorin of a fish. Eevn mayd me hongree!

Which remind me, ther still som toonr in mai bowl. Latr, bai.