MOM’S HOME!!!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, Granpa brougtid Mom bak home yesterdae, an we are verree egsytid about this! I chased her around the partmint yesterdae, just to make shur she wuz her, and she was!!! So this morning, after she feeded me around 5 am, I squozed in between her an the pillo, an I purred as hard as I cud, jus so she wud figger out how mutch I loves her. I think she figgerd it out, as she kept scritchin mai hed. But just in cays she is still cloo-less, I has been setting lov-traps. Mor on this latr.

Meanwhil, I has been testing stuffs. Like she mayded “Dharma Shepherd Deeligt” fer dinnr tonight an she think I did not unnerstand the recipe. But she way-over-unner-estimaytid me. Huh. Ther wer no shepherds in the recipe, an eevn tho she CLIAMED that ther wuz baby zukeenis, I not see any babies anywhers, so I think Mom has been maykin stuffs up. An this worreez me, cuz whut if this com from her hangin out wift them gran-parental-units?

But maybe it just has ben comin from not enugf sleep. We'll go wift that fer now...

Steam vs. Ninja

Musashi Sez:

I noe yu is waitin to hear about the pie we were gonna mayk yestrdae, but I gots mor importint stories to tells yu. Cuz me an Mister Tyger had no sooner woken up from our nap than we saw TWO (2) bunnies. They wer our friends, PolkieDot, a Easter bunny (not the same as THE Easter bunny), an the othr one whu sometimes go by the Nom du Type Writaire of Hemingway Wong. They was jus sittin there starin at us.

Me: Good mornin. Whatchu staring at?

PD: Yu. An it no mornin. It ar eevnin.

MT: Grrowl??

HW: You are cheerful and mutch beloved by your friends.

Me: Are you being funny?

PD: Nope, he is just havin one of his littul moments. We were hopin you gyz would do a story that we cud tell. We bunnies are writer types an neither of us has had a story to tell fer quit a whil.

MT: YAWN!!! (wift teeft)

HW: A pen without ink is like a road without direction.

Me: What kinda story yu lik?

PD: Adventchoor stories!!!

Me: Hmm. We kin do that. Whatchu think, Mister Tygr? Shall we be ninja assassins?

MT: Oooh! I got a betterer ideer! Let's be blimp captains on a intercept wift Germin spies to take away the ancient Egyptian artefacts what they unlawfully stole from the dig in Luxor. I looks very good in formal wear.

Me: Piffle. I always wears that! I wanna be a ninja assassin!

MT: Steam balloon captains got fancy brass ray guns an monocles.

Me: Ninjas got sneeky shoes an swords!

MT: Steam captains!

Me: Ninjas!

PD: I don't know about you, Hemingway, but I think we gots what yu might call or initiatin conflict.

HW: Better sandpaper on the window frame than sand in your shorts.

Christmas Playin

Musashi Sez:

Well, wift most of the partmint to ourselfs todae, Mister Tyger an me has ben playin! We chased each other unner the table and chayrs fer a whil, til we got dizzy. Then we tried to do one of Mom's Cross Word Puzzuls. We gottid "a rat" first, an then "eggsanham"an then "tulipinthevalee" an we thort we had "ottrman" but it didn't fit. So we gived up an looked fer our Christmas prezents from Mom unner the bookcase, but mai arms aren't long enugf an Mister Tygers' are eevn shorterer, so we didn't find any.

Then we played pirate unner the coutch fer a while and shiverd some timbers an sang songs an danced around and took turns sending each othr to walk the plank (cuz taking turns is polite). But then we gottid tired so we took a nap on mai pink rug.

I'm thinkin that aftr we gets up from our nap I will find one of Mom's cookin books an we can learn to make pie. I will make one of them "shells" an dump mai toonr in it an wrap it up and cook it. I'm not shur if the microwaviater will work or whethr we will have to get Anna to help us, cuz we're not allowed to yooz the stove an I can't reach the toaster ovven on top of the erfidgiator.

It should be a gud time!

This Whol Christmas Eev Thin

Musashi Sez:

Well, this is the seazon when Mom go orf to her spa retreet in the south, way down in Connedikut, which is not quite so far as Texus, but very posh. She eats all sorts of stuff, INCLOODIN PIE, (huh, she nevr mayk ME pie), an I stay hom here an meditayte on the meening of the Solstice, an whut kindsa stuffs Ceilin Cat wud like me to do next yeer, lik taykin over the werld, lernin to ride a ponee and losin a pound, whatevr that is. Also, writin my memwars, which I think meens a essay about how I praktices figtin an wrasslin wift Mister Tyger so I can take on burglergs in cays they evr trai to steal mom's books an my mousies.

An as me an Mister Tyger watch the snow comin gently down on the neigbers' cars an hear their melodic groans an the scrape of their big snow spoons, I think about new starts, the big shiny present of the turnin yeer. (This, Mom claims, is why we dance in circuls on Solstice.)

So sins I noe that lotsa yu Gentle Reeder folks foller that Baby Jesus kitty who got borned recently 200 yeerz ago, or maybe 2000, but tomorrer--

ANYWAY, what I meen to say is Merry Solstice, an Happy Christmas an Joyous Boxing Day from me an Mister Tyger, an problee Mom too.

Som Christmus Carulz

Musashi Sez:

 

Wull, I has been workin verree hard to translayt one of them standard Christmas carols to a noo kitteh carol which yu all will reallee like. I thogtid to use that one from the 1950s-60s about dancing around a Christmas tree. This is what I camed up wift first.

Rocketing around the Christmas wreath

On the big, white livin room door.

It’s got red and gold ornamints

I think Mom shud put on more.

But then I gots stuckt. So I listened to the orijinul again and I tried this:

You will get exilerating feelins

When you see

Kittee racing round the table:

Grab a cookie if you’re able.

And then it gots hard an I hads to put on mai thinking cap, except that I not has one, an anyway, I wanted one of them Santy Claws hats wift them tantilizin pompoms, but the closest thing Mom had was a red gambler hat.

So I weared that fer a while an then I camed up wift this:

 

Rocketing around the Christmas wreath,

Has a happee holidae.

Everyboddy dansin merrilee

In the noo an feline way!!!

The Joyz of Wintr: A Seazonul Carol

Musashi Singz:

Boot noodles; cuddling

Wift newly washed hankies;

More time to sleep in wift Mom

Unner blankies;

Lookin down from mai perch

On Mom’s vejtabul bins:

This is mai list of the best wintr things!

Neighbors wift shovels

Are gud ennertainment;

Rewritin carols

So they makes more brain-sense;

Having them parties

Wift fambly and friends:

This is mai list of mai best wintr things!

When the sky’s dark,

When mai toys hide,

When the litter’s old:

I just sings mai list of mai best wintr things

An then I not feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

So cold!