This Whol Christmas Eev Thin

Musashi Sez:

Well, this is the seazon when Mom go orf to her spa retreet in the south, way down in Connedikut, which is not quite so far as Texus, but very posh. She eats all sorts of stuff, INCLOODIN PIE, (huh, she nevr mayk ME pie), an I stay hom here an meditayte on the meening of the Solstice, an whut kindsa stuffs Ceilin Cat wud like me to do next yeer, lik taykin over the werld, lernin to ride a ponee and losin a pound, whatevr that is. Also, writin my memwars, which I think meens a essay about how I praktices figtin an wrasslin wift Mister Tyger so I can take on burglergs in cays they evr trai to steal mom's books an my mousies.

An as me an Mister Tyger watch the snow comin gently down on the neigbers' cars an hear their melodic groans an the scrape of their big snow spoons, I think about new starts, the big shiny present of the turnin yeer. (This, Mom claims, is why we dance in circuls on Solstice.)

So sins I noe that lotsa yu Gentle Reeder folks foller that Baby Jesus kitty who got borned recently 200 yeerz ago, or maybe 2000, but tomorrer--

ANYWAY, what I meen to say is Merry Solstice, an Happy Christmas an Joyous Boxing Day from me an Mister Tyger, an problee Mom too.

Yu’r Not Breethin Hard Enugf

Musashi Sez:

OK. So mom sez I was kind of crabbee las tim, an that’s tru. I don’t lik rainee daes wen the sun is not shynin and the burds ar not hangin around outsyd. Is annoyin. At leest wen it snow, I kin watch the hoomin peeples brushin all the whyt stuff off their cars. Then they pullz thoz wipey thins up so they looks lik bug antenna. Is perty funnee to see hoomin peeples fussin round them big bugs.

But mom sez I got to mayk shur yu gyz is not feelin bad cuz of mai crabbee. So she sugjestid I shud wryt about somthin “nys,” like mebbee luv. (Somtims she’s sutch a gurl. Huh.) Huh.

So I sed: “Luv’s borin. Is all that kissee stuff.”

An mom sed: “Luv mayks the wurld go round.”

I sed: “No, it don’t. Grabitee does that. Or mebbee innersha. Somthin to do wift fhyziks, aneewae.”

She sed: “Luv conkerz all.”

“Nope,” I sed. “Yu tol me about Wurld Dominayshun an how mutch trubul peeples gets in wen they conkerz othr peeples.”

She thingkd about that fer a whyl. Then she sed: “It’s spring. Luv is in the ayr. If yu’r not in luv, yu’r jus not breethin hard enugf.”

I sed: “What?”

She sed: “Is somthin a frend of yer Ont Mishell sed.”

I aksd: “Is Ont Mishell from yer litter?”

“Yep.”

Huh. So she mebbe is rigt. OK. I moslee breethz perty hard aftr I ben chaysin mousees wift mai ninja skillz. So I go do that now. Then we see what happn aftr.

Mergency Alert!!!

Musashi Sez:

Okay, peeples, yu'r not goin to beleev this: THE WURLD IS TURNIN WHYT!!!

It started happenin befor dinner an at furst I din't notis. Then I luuks owt the windo and the street is whyt an the sidwalk is whyt an humin peeples is runnin in the whyt stuff like in a litter box. Mom sez it's not problim, but it's awful weerd. Mom sez it's cuz owtside is so cold an the clowds in the sky ar full of whyte stuff an somtimes the clowds brake up an fall down. Parently, this only happen in winter cuz the cold makes the clowds hevvy. I bet they don't exersize proppurly when it's cold. Mom sez that's why I'm getting big now.

Anyway I figgered yu all shud noe about this amazin weerd thin. Oh an I almos forgot. Is called "SNOW." See, even srsly weerd name.