Friday, January 2, 2009
Baftub Sayf-tee an Enlaitend Self-Intrest
Mom Gives Background:
The other night, I was brushing my teeth and Musashi jumped up on the edge of the sink and stood there watching me. "Soopervyzin," he calls it. I had to lean over him to spit in the sink. He sniffed the Minty Freshness ™ and then jumped down into the bathtub, "inspektin," apparently.
"Inspecting for what?" I asked.
"Huh. Baftub Shnowzers, obveeussly," he said.
I told him that Bathtub Schnauzers were an urban legend, that there were absolutely no verified accounts of small schnauzers coming up through bath drains, and no reason why they would anyway. He disagreed.
Huh. Urbin lejends always have som truft to them. Everboddy noes that. See, whut happned is these humin peeples was washin their shnowzer peeples an they uzd too hot wadder, and the poor lil shnowzers sherunked! An, cuz ther was so mutch bubbulz, the humin peeples din't notis an they rinsd the doggees rigt down the drain! Is perty terribul.
So ever sins then, these lil doggees has ben wandrin the soowers, tryin to find their way bak hom. But soowers isn't nice places, an they gets cranky (the shnowzers, not the soowers). So good kittees all over Amerika has to stan watch over their humin peeples so they don't get bit on the butt. Is srsly importint dooty.
But kittees got enugf dootees. We got to pownce on stuff, an keep trak of burdees owtside the windo, an be Wayk-Up-Call Kittees, an jus all sortsa thins. So I ben thingkin that I shud mayk a plug that has a place fer humin thums on top part fer putting in an takin owt. An on the buttum part, it'll hav a lit-up sign (spelld in shnowzer, of cors) that sez, "Hey, Shnowzers! This not yer hom!"
Then I mak lotsa money, an the shnowzer peeples gets hom faster.
We call that ENLIGHTENED SELF-INTEREST.
Don't be sillee. We calls them Anti-Shnowzer Plugs.