Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Mad Huntin Skillz
So peepuls has been askin about how I train to gets mai mad huntin skillz. Is eazy. I has a 2-part trainin program, not countin all the attacklin toes that I do. Mosly I trains wift balls and mousees. Any kind of ball is gud, espeshully the kinds wift bells or the 'nip. But mousees has to be carfully pikt and trained, an also mom has to likes them or she won't buy them fer me. So that meens they eether gots to be cheep or kyute or soshully ree-sponsi-bull. Or all 3. Or at leest 2.
Also, cuz mom is wierd, they tends to be innernashunnul. So fer exampul, I has one mousee, his name is Ulrik but he is acshul from Sweeden, not Germinny. She gots him fer me at Ikea, an he was cheep an kyute. Also, it turns out that he dries out pretty gud if yu gets him wet, fer exampul, by droppin him in yer wadder bowl. Yu jus puts him in a sunnee window an he dries out. Mom sez this is becuz of his polee-ester, an I thingk that's Sweedish fer he dries out gud. Mom jus likes long wurds.
The other ones is from Gwatta-molla, an that is sowth of Texas. They speeks Spannish. Like, if I'm winnin, one of them will sqweek "O-lay!" an mom sez that meens he's not afrayd of me. But somtimes they sez "Vah-mose!" insted, an that meens "Mousees, run away!" An okayzhunully, one sez, "Meekasa essukasa!" an I thingk that meens they shud all hide unner the TV or the cowch. They does that lots. That mite be cuz they'r soshul reesponsibull, but I'm not shur.
Anyway, if yu'r hopin to get betterer at huntin, I rekamens getting the right mousees fer the job. Ulrik gets two stars an the Gwatta-molla moussees gets three stars, cuz mom must reely like them cuz she's buyed about six fer me.
Ulrich was two bucks at Ikea. He's from the children's department, not the pet toy department, although the pet toy mouses—whoops, mice—that they had cost exactly the same. But Ulrich doesn't have hard surfaces or catnip, which means I can keep him under my pillow at night and pull him out in the morning to distract Musashi from attacking my feet. Like, for example, at 5:30 or so…
Guatemalan Catnip Mice - Pair $9.95. "With each pair of catnip mice purchased, The Animal Rescue Site will fund 14.0 bowls of food for animals living in sanctuaries and shelters. These two mice come stuffed with certified organic catnip! Handmade in Guatemala from a dizzying selection of traditional woven textiles, these fun cat toys are made available to us through the UPAVIM program (United for a Better Life/Unidos Para Una Vida Mejor), a crafts-marketing program providing funds for a children's clinic and other health and education projects in La Esperanza, a poverty-stricken area on the outskirts of Guatemala City. Mice measure 2" L (5.1 cm). Handmade in and fair-trade- imported from Guatemala." Not cheap, but the guilt factor for buying cat toys is practically negative.