Humin peeples thingk that bein a kittee is eazy, cuz it's all instinkt. They thingk that when we jumps on a windo sill or between the legs of a chare, we'r jus doin it natchurally, la la la, like that. They don't reelize how much praktis yu gots to do if yu'r goin to do stuff by instinkt. But it's gud if yer humin peeples thingk yu'r doin stuff by instinkt, cuz then yu kin get away wift all kinds of stuff.
Fer instins, it's reelly importint to assert yer dominos. That's when yu acts lik yu'r in charj, an it's very importint, even if yu don't live wift a dog. Fer instins, finding the exakt center of the bed doesn't jus happin. It takes plannin. I tell yu how.
Ferst, yu gots to get 2 peeces of string. (That's as many as yer front paws, fer yu littul ones owt ther who doesn't count so gud yet.) Yu cud use shoelaces too, but they'r not uzhually long enougf, an anyway, it kin be hard gettin them on the bed an then yu ends up leavin footprints, an that kin give yu away. An yu cud use pens I gess, but yu'd need lots an then when yu'r don, yu'd hav to nock them all on the flor, an yer mom or dad will probable notis. So string is best.
Anyway, yu takes a string in yer mouft, an jump on bed an make string go from 1 corner of bed to other 1, across like. Then yu do same thing wift 2 string in other direkshun, so it ends up lookin like when yu crosses yer front paws. This cud take lots of tim, so yu gots to do it when yer mom or dad is away fer a long tim, like mebbe Monday. Then when yu gets the strings all crossed, the part where they'r over each other is the exakt center. Yu gots to mark it wift somthin so yu kin rememember, like a peece of litter or if yu chew a peece of a claw off.
Then if yu wants to plae wift string, yu kin do that, espeshully if yu heers yer humin peeples comin hom, cuz they'll jus thingk yer bein kyute, an yu kin gets away wift anythin if yer kyute enougf.
An when yu kurlz up in the exakt center of bed at nite when they'r tryin to sleep, they mosly jus mutter about yer amazin instinkt, an lets yu get on wift it.
Do remember, folks. You're sworn to secrecy on all this…