Bak from Mai Unegspektid Vacayshun

Musashi Sez:
 

Wull, hullo, foks. I iz back (an so is Mr. Tygr). But we can’t tell yu wher we went cuz these govermint gyz in blak soots mayd us promis not to. Parently, the werlds we wentid to in the seventh dimenshun wer kinda Top Seecrit, an if you aksks me, that jus goes to sho yu how mutch trubble yu kin get into when yu are relyin on bunneez to narrate yer story.

Huh.

So I’m bak, an it look lik Mom isn’t goin to let me out of her sigt agin fer quite a while. Yu noe how it is, “You not writ, you not call, you not email me! How was I knowin wher you wuz?” Like that. An then in the middul of it she swoops me up an givs me mor hugs. AGEN. Oddly, she not do that to Mr. Tygr, but he says he’s OK wift that, cuz ther is less of him fer her to hug, an anywae he got quite enugf of that stuff when we were bicycling around on Saturn.

Cuz of that whol govermint conspirasee thin, I not allowed to tell yu about all the fansee playsis I vizitid or the flyin monkees an lik that. So if yu has particler thins yu wants me to writ about, yu let me noe, an I will get rigt on that.

Bunneez Sayvs the Day

Musashi Sez:

Wull there, we wuz in that non-Narnean world when I says to my buddee Mister Tygr, I says, “Why we not try anuthr werld?”

And he says, “Okey-dokey!”

An so we changiz werldz, but when we gets to the outsid of the pub in this nu werld, we seez a bunch of bunneez hangin around. An they tayks one luk at us an they sez: “Hey, are yu gyz immergrints?”

An we sez, “Who’s akskin?”

An they sez, “Yu looks imergrintish. Lik you migt need a plot.”

An we looks at eetch other an we sez, “Huh.”

An they sez, “Cuz we doin a two fer one sale on plots. It cost twenty-five cents.”

An I put my hed together wift Mr. Tygr and we figgrs that we only got nineteen cents, tops. So Mr. Tygr sez, “We hasn’t got enugf fer two whol plots. What yu charj fer jus one?”

An the bunneez put their heds together and mutter among theirselvs. An one says, “Twelve cents fer just one.”

So we hands her the script we has been follerin fer the past coupla monfs, an they looks it over an sez, “Wull, this is gotta be one of the werst plots we seen in a while, but we still onlee charje you twelve cents. But you are goin to get the most leestest innerestin plot  we has in our bunnee clozit.”

“We’ll tayk it!!!” sez us.

“Eh, voila!” sez the bunnee wift the beret on his hed. “Git on the bus, an we tayks yu to yer nu an improovd plot!”

We Triez Agen, Agen

Musashi Sez:

Wull, thingz not go so gud in Plot Land. I ben lyin on mai Pink Thinkin Rug and mai Pink Thinkin Towl, an I jus can’t figgr out how to mayk this plot thin work. See we hadz theez grayt piktchrz of me fightin the Wickid Witch of Westport, but we cudn’t figgr out how, cuz that Dorthee gal alreddy landed a hous on her sistr, an she out of boft sistrz and prezoomable, houses.

So now we ar goin to hav to see if we kin find us a Wormhol to Narnia, or failin that, hom.

We has been sorree to disrpoint, but * SIGH * Mom wuz rigt. Plots is hardr than they luks.

Next time I go off, I’m goin to bring my writer bunnee frend. An also a compass.

Not the Plays We Plannd Fer

Musashi Sez:

The momint I dragged maisalf free from the weird green scragglee twigs, I hads maiself a brain-splosion. I turned to Mr. Tygr, hoping that whut he saw wud be diffrunt from whut I was seein.

I sed, “Mr. Tygr? Do yu thingks we are still in Bostn?”

He seds, “Um. Nope.”

“Does yu thingks we are in Narnia?”

Then Mr. Tyrgr lukt rigt an left. He snuffd up a whol lotta air, which almos included me, but I pulld maiself awae frum his migty, stripee noz.

“This not Narnia,” he sedsd. “Ther no Ceeling Cat smell heer.”

O-M-G, I thougted, whut we do now?

I seds, “Um. Does yu have thogts about wher we migt be? Cuz this is wae beyond whut I had been anticerpaytin…”

An Mr. Tygr sed, “Hm. Wull, it’s lik this. Eethr we is becom a seemless part of som noo (fer us) realitee, or, possibul, we has ben sukd into a fairee tayl frum our werld that also got som powr in this othr werld.”
 

An, intellijintlee, I seds, “Huh?”

An he sed, “Wull, lik, fer egzampul, if ther is an alternit werld wher folks all walk backwards, we wud figgr it out perty qwik, an we wud start walkin backwards. So we shud pae lotsa attention to whuts we does, cuz that will tell us whut theez folks heer do.”

“Are they hongree fer peenut buttr ‘n jellee?” I aksd.

“Um,” sed Mr. Tygr.

Which at the time seemd lik an egstreemly conservative answer. So I aksd a diffrunt qwestshun. “Whut yu thingk thoz poppee-lookin flowrz ar? An also, why I feels so sleepeeeeeeee….?”

Travul Between Werlds Hardr Than It Luk

Musashi Sez:

Yah, so I bet yu gots yer bord face on, cuz yu thingks that travul between werlds is all eezee-peezee. Huh. A lot yu noe. Akshullee, it a lot mor lik wen yu sqweezez yersalf unner the ottoman so yu kin has boy tim, yu noe, wift the cheez doodulz an Batman comics, but then wen yu triez to gits out, yu is all sqweezed down to lik that cardbord stuffs. An yer mouft tayste lik them dil pikkulz. Onlee wers.

Mr. Tygr akshullee had a littul bettr tim of it cuz he doezn’t has bones.

Annewae, I hads all theez big planz fer wen we arrivd at Narnia, lik getting to noe som beevrs (whu’ll be verree impresst that Mom werk at MIT), and havin a frendlee dool wift Reepicheep.

But the weirdest thin happind. Just as we sqwozld our wae out of the clozit an thrugh the unnerbrush, we herd this verree singyoolr sound, lik a whoosh of wind and a clatterin sound. At ferst I thogt it must be som extra-larj chikkinz, but then I realized that it was commin frum far abov us.

The White Wich? But it not winter heer. An aneewae, she alreddee got kilt.

This whut we in the writin biznis calls a cliff hanger. It’s sort of like when yu wants to tayk off yer fansee coat rigt befor a big figt, but ther no place to puts the hanger except on a nearby cliff.

Yah, that nevr reellee mayd sens to me eethr.

The Ferts Meetin of the Felyn Adventchrerz Rotunda Calld to Ordr

Musashi Sez:

The mor I thingked about whut went rong wift mai orijinul planz to go to Narnia, the mor I relizd I cudn’t do it alon. I needed a innocent to tayk wift me, cuz they is alwaez bettrer at opening dorz. So naturallee, I went an akskd mai wrasslin instructr, Mr. Tygr, if he wud com too.

He wuz surpryzinlee shy about it. He sed he is a hom-boddee, akshullee, an cudn’t we just rent a video of Narnia? An mebbe mayk som popcorn in the nuklearwayv masheen?

This not whut I egspektid of him, cuz he is normlee verree feers. So I sed, “Mr. Tygr, wher yer sens of adventchur? We goin to seek out stranj werlds an go wher not too manee folks has gon befor, an be bold an split som infinitiv verbs, an like that. Yu HAS to com wift me. Whut if I gets into a wrasslin match an ye’r not ther to spray me wift the wadder bottul an tell me to win one for mai supper?”

Natchurlee, wift argyoomints lik this, I wund him ovr.

So we went to the clozit dor an taykd som deep brefts. Then I sed, “OK, Mr. Tygr. Yu hang onto mai coller and luk verree feers. I goin to tayk a runnin leep into the londree. Reddee?”

One-Two-Three! For Ceiling Cat!

Mebbe She Needs to Worsh the Darks Too

Musashi Sez:

Huh. I spended all dae tryin to finds mai wae around mai mom’z clozit, in mai brayv attemps to find Narnia, but no luk. I figgrd ther probabul somthin mor to it, liks I gots to invoke Ceeling Cat an aks fer permishun to com to Narnia, or mebbe I need som fansee majik amyoolit. I akskd Mom whut she thortid about this an she kinda freekd out.

Mom: Why yu wanna go to Narnia, Musashi? Ther are lotsa danjrus creetchrz ther.

Me: Aw, Mom, yu nevr lets me has anee fun.

Mom: But yu cud gets lostid ther an I nevr see yu agin.

Me: Aw, c’mon, Mom, tim not go the saym wae ther as heer. Yu’ll sae, “Bye, Musashi, I hasta go to werk now!” and befor yu noez it, yu’ll com hom an I’ll be lickin my pawz so I kin get them stickee photrgraf cornrz to fits into mai noo scrapbuk about mai adventchrz in Narnia.

Mom: Photrgraf cornrz?

Me: Wull, duh! Yu not expect me to go to another werld an not tayk the piktchrz! By the wae, kin I borrow yer camra?

Mom: Wull, of cors, but it kinda need subliminal thumz. 

(I think that whut she sed. She lookd kinda dayzd. That offin happin wen we has theez kinda conversashunz.)

Me: Hmm. I migt need to tayks me a Sherpa. I has to thingk about this mor…