Occyoopai Sesame Street Et Setera

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I wuz goin to writ about that Occyoopai Sesame Street thin, but then mai mom gottid a verree bad cold, so I am goin to writ about that instead. She keep goin, “Corf, corf, corf. Krshneezl! Honk!” This is not so mutch fun to lissen to, as it tern out. (In part cuz it soun to me mor lik the woof of a Cheewowa, that ar sillee-lookin doggeez at the bestest of timz.) Aneewae, she ar sik, an I has the responsbabilitlee of halpin her, if I can.

I offrd to mayk Tea, but parentlee that reqwir thumz. An I offrd to gets her orinj joos frum the stor, but that reqwir goin outsid wher all them big noyzee carz an truks ar, an also havin pockits fer monee, an lik that.

So moslee I has jus ben ovrseein. This meen sleepin on her ankulz, an givin her kittee shiatsu, cuz ther ar som powrful poynts on the feemr bon that kin halp wift the immyoon systim. An wen she goez to the kitchin, I follrs her ther, an wen she goes to the baftroom I follrs her ther an mayk shur she gits back to bed sayf. Aslo, I gives her kittee shiatsu on her limber supports, which ar the spynl stuffs that keeps her uprigt.

An then I naps on her nee whil she sleepin, becuz if yu has got cold, yu needs to has warm neez. Huh. Probabul that why she gottid sik in firtst plays, from havin cold nees in San Fransisko, wiftout me bein ther to keep them warm.

Som Thangksgivinz to Ceiling Cat

Musashi Sez:

Wull, mai mom FYNLEE got bak frum her big ol’ confrens in San Fransisco in Californyr, an I has to say, wull. it shur took long enugf!!!

She sez she wuz all plitikul an theolojikul an lik that, but maynlee, I’m thingkin that she tukt a vakayshun wiftout invytin me along. Shur, she SED that the Hilton Hotel didn’t hav littr boxiz in their roomz, an that they gets verree antsee if yu aksks them about their a-komo-day-shunz fer Non-Hoomin-Peeplez.

But I thingks mebbe she wuz jus tryin to get out of depooperaytin MAI littr box. Huh. An whut kinda mom is that, I asks yu?

Harrumph.

But she did com bak. An the firstist thin she don wuz to cleen up mai waddr fountin so I cud dringk frum it properlee. The secondist thin wuz she depooperayted my pooperatyr. So mebbee I wuz wrong. Mebbee this whol content an contakt thin, which mai granpa talk about, has gots som legs unner it

Mebbee.

An the thridst thin she did wuz to nap wift me fer, lik, three or for whol hourz. So, yu noe, mebbe she the mom-typ-person whu I has ben egspektin her to be.

Egsept she not ovr-feedin me AT ALL. She hasn’t wuns sed in the last 7 or 8 hourz how she kin see mai ribz frum ther.

So I jus dunno…

Report frum Calrfornya

Musashi Sez:

So this past weekend, mai mom wuz in Calrfornya at this meetin wift 10,000 hoomin peeplez at it whu talks about relijunz. I asksd her how much is that an she sed, “Lots. Lik, one, two, Many, LOTS,” so we just goin to tayk her werd fer it.

I askd her whut they wuz sayin about Ceiling Cat ther, an she gottid all shiftee, if yu wants mai opinyun (which yu cleerlee do cuz yu’r reedin mai blog).

“Wull,” she sed, “I didn’t get to go to anee of the talks about Relijun an Aminulz… See, I hadsta werk Thersdae, so I hadsta travul on Fridae, wen they wuz havin a few of them. An then this Occyupai march caym up an I hadsta go to that, cuz it wuz Histree, an how offin doez yu gets to do that?”

An of cors, I not has a ansr fer that one. But I asksd, “Wull, but aftr that ther musta ben somthin, rigt?”

“Wull, I had intended to go to one about ‘Thinkin Aminulz an Relijun, Rethinkin Ethiks,’ but then theez faymus theolojunz, Joerg Rieger and Rita Brock—yu rememembrer sleepin on their books—“

“Huh,” I sez. “Yus, I remembrer.”

“Wull, they wer doin a talk on the Occyupai stuffs, an aftr the march—Hey, did I tell yu that Rita Brock lendid me her umbrellr?”

“No, but I wundred why yu left me it, sins I not evr go out egsept to see that vet person in Jooly.”

“I fergots it. Aneewae, they wer talkin about how mebbe we cud Occyupai the Univertsitee, an that the kinda conversayshun I not egspektid to hav heer, so I wentid to that insted.”

“Huh. I spoz,” sed I, but moslee cuz mom reellee noe how to speek my langwudj. “Still,” I aksd, “whut they sayin about Ceiling Cat? I noe ther lotsa innerfayth dialogz, so I figgrd ther wud be lotsa kittee peeplez ther givin talks.”

“Wull, ther a langwudj difficultee, yu noe. Lotsa theolojunz speeks Germin and Frentch an Greek, and I herd som speeking Japaneez an Chineez, but I’m pertee rayr bein somboddee whu flooent in LOLcat.”

“That predjudis.”

“Wull, kinda. But they sez heer that the academee moov reellee slow.”

“They turtulz?”

“Not egzaktlee. Altho ther ar rezemblez heer an ther. But maynlee it seem not so eezee to sugjest a noo groop fer studee, lik, sae, Innerspeesheez Conversayshunz, or Ceiling Cat in Poplr Relijus Imajinayshun.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah. That whut I thogt.”

An of cors, it onlee mai mom’s ferst yeer goin to this thin, so ther no wae all them big toms is goin to listen to her even if she caterwaul about it, so I gess I’m jus goin to has to wayt.

But, huh. So mutch fer divertsitee.

Sayvin Evrboddee, But How? An Whu?

Musashi Sez:

Mai mom is reedin buks on evolooshun on that Jeezus fellr whu sposta be Ceiling Cat’s son, com to sayv the werld. Huh. Not likelee. No wae a hoomin cud sayv aminalz, not wift all the nastee stuff hoomins do to aminal peoples. (Altho not mai mom. She jenrullee pertee gud.)

Them othr hoominz nevr considerayt that us aminal peeples gots our own sayvyorz. The sqwirrl peeples got theirz, whu com lotsa hundrids of yeers ago, befor the hoomins cuttid down the treez fer them stoopid farmz an factreez. The cowz gotst one, probabul in Indyer, cuz eevn the hoominz respekt cowz in Indyer.

Problee eevin the Hoya! has one, but I not speek Plant flooentlee, so I cant ask mai littul brothr, Ernie, the Hoya! Bert got moovd to mai mom’s desk at MIT, cuz I wuz yoozin him fer dentul floss. (Tern out, he wuzn’t aspragrus-flayvrd aftr all.) Mom sez he ar adjustin nyslee to livin wiftout eethr direct sunligt or, as it happun, kittee peeples lik me. But this wuz a cleer lessn on how jus cuz somboddee is a diffrint speesheez doeznt meen he or she or whatevr aint got som rigts. Huh.

An of cors, us kitteez got Happy Cat, an of cors he is sayvin us in lif aftr lif, cuz we does gets in trubbul reglar, but it not lik ther anee point talking him up to membrz of othr speesheez, or whut Mom call “proseltyzin.” I cud talk till I’m pink in the fays lik mom, but that isn’t goin to get mai bruthr Ernie a Tenfth Lif. Huh.

But fer them them OTHR hoominz to jus ASSOOM that jus cuz we don’t talks abowt our sayvyorz to THEM we isn’t got them is jus insultin.

Mom Says:

Hmm. But we have been waiting about 2000 years for Jesus to come back like he said he would. What if he’s spent all that time becoming squirrels and hoyas and cats and like that, to save all those species one at a time? That would take lots and lots of time…

Musashi Sez:

You is being anthraxpolcentrix agen. Huh. Yu thingks that jus cuz yu folk has thumbs that moov conveenyentlee, that mayk yu Mastrz of the Yooneevers. Huh. Not likelee.

Mom Says:

You mean anthropocentric, and yes, but I am working very hard at becoming, um, biocentric? geocentric? biogeocentric? Words are hard!

Musashi Sez:

You gotst that rigt!

Hulloween Skayreez!!!

Musashi Sez:

Wull, todae is Hulloween, when gosts and umpires an othr skaree typs jumps out from behind bushiz an cowchiz an yells, “Hullo!”

Mai mom wentid to costoom parteez on Satrdae, dressd as a Scottish vampyr, which meant she looked lik me wayrin a pladd vest. But her vest is too big fer me (an also kinda loud), so I jus go as a Vampyr. When I rollz upsid down, yu kin see mai skayree fangz.

Hullo!

(Yu skayrd yet? Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!)

Mom Says:

For those of you who don’t speak Musashese, that is the sound of a smartypants laughing. Also, you should know that this photo is actually of Musashi himself, not a cat-fang model or a cheezactr. Photo by ©Michelle Peoples 2011.

Mai Noo Littul Brothrz

Musashi Sez:

Wull, I am now offishlee a Big Brothr. Mai Mom’s frend, Mandr, jus adopted 2 plants to Mom, a fuzzee lookin fern an a hoya! Mom wuz goin to call the fern Fred an the hoya! Harriet, but then she desydid that Bert an Ernie wud be eezier to rememembr.

She sed I am goin to haz lotsa sponsabiliteez now, remyndin her to feed an wadder them. I aksed her whut plants eet, and she was tellin me about this cycle, an us breethin, an somthin calld See-Otoo, which soun lik that shinee gold fellr in the Star Warz moovee. Parintlee, plants eet robots.

Hmm. Mebbe I misundrstandid. I will tayk a nap on the cyklerpeedier tomorrer and see if I can’t sort it out that way. But that not eevn the most confuzzlin thin that I ben thingkin about wift regard to mai straynj noo leefee-greenee brothrz.

See, I thingk Mandr toldid mai mom the rong naym fer one of them plants. Okay, the hoya! look lik it soun. But the aspragrus fern? Huh. Mai mom eets lotsa that weerd aspragrus, an it not luk lik Bert. It luk lik Zibit A. Googul sez that fernz look lik Zibit B. Whut we gots luk mor like Zibit C.

Sleepin An Waykin an Lik That

Musashi Sez:

Somtimz mai mom has trubbl sleepin, an she wants me to settul down on her nee lik I allus do, but more qwiklier. I thingks that she is moslee in need of mai purrin. So yah, I purrs fer her, cuz hey, she buy mai littr an fud an moussee toyz. This is somthin them biznis stoodints call “sinnerjee.”

Aneewae, I not alwaez shur when she is havin trubbul sleepin or when she simplee has wokd up an is considrin veree deeplee the meenin of lyf or possibul whether it is tim to go to the baftroom. So moslee I aksks, espeshullee if it ar aftr 5:00 o’clock in the mornin, when is a gud tim to be waykin up, from mai opinyun, if not frum herz.

Moslee, she pat me on the hed an nod orf agen. Somtimz she mumbl, “Musashi, yu sutch a good boy. Why yu wayks me ZZZZZnorgfff…?”

An yu gotta admit, ther no reel ansr fer that.

So I jus pats her on the fays or on the arm until she wayk up enugf to say somthin helpful lik, “Mebbe we shud checks yer fud dish, Musashi!”

Which, as long as it not follrd immeedyatlee wift a “ZZZZZnorgfff,” is the start of a verree gud dae indeedy. An if that don’t work, I kin allus wait a few more hours fer her alarm to go off. That allus get her owt of bed in a hurree!