Autum Eekwinox, Soopervyzin, an Lik That

Musashi Sez:

So of cors, me an my mum did the Eekwinox dans on Friday the 23rds, cuz we hadsta welcom the noo seezon as bestest we cud, an that tend to meen dansin, wen mai mom is consernd. Huh. She ligt a candul an pik me up an we dansiz. Huh. Az if kittee peeplez dans. Not eevn. But she is mutch biggerer than me, so I goez along wift it.

Reluktintlee.

Meenwhil, we has hads the eksytmint this past week or so an no mistayk!!!

Firstest ther wuz this verree annoyin rush of wattr in the baftroom, from lik seelin to flor. Then Mom shuttid me in her rum wen them plummbererz com to fix it. Then I got free fer a whil an then she shuttid me in agen, cuz the plastrer caym, but my othr room-ayte had lettid me out an this plastr fellr, Enriko, wuz verree cayrful not to let me get neer the dor. Huh. Jus as wel, tho. Ther is not toyz an treets an blankeez in our partmint lobbee.

Hom is better. Eevn if ther ar plastr dust all ovr the baftroom flor. An then Mom wuz hom ovrr weekend an she mopt the baftroom to mayk the plastr dust go awae. I mayd shur to be ther to sooprvyz, an yu noez, mayk shur she gottid all the spots. But wen I went bak to luk, it tern out that she miss a big spot! As big as ME!

So I toldid her that, nex tym, I wud sooprvys the saym, but I wud bring mai clipbord, so I cud chek thinz off. She sed (an I qwotz), “Huh. Then I’ll leev a spot exactlee as big as yu AN yur clipbord.”

I told her that not mayk sens. She sez, “Yu sit an thingk about it. Yu figgr it out evetchoolee, I noez yu will.”

Noer an Hiz ol’ Ark

Musashi Sez:

So my mom haz ben talkin about this gy Noer laytlee.

Akshulee I haz to go bak. Roun about 2 yeer ago, we writid a verzhun of the Jenisisis creayshun storee. This wuz Septembir 2009. Wull now mai mom is taykin a clas on Ceiling Cat and Creayshun, an also enviromentul ethiks. So she mentchun to her frend at skool that we haz writid this verzhun of the storee wift them dynosorz an the Glaysher Ayj (that wun wift all the ais an sno). This mayk her happee and it maydid her frend an her frend’z son happee, cuz that whol Ais-Ayj an dynosor-thing wuz not in the orijinul skript, as it tern owt. So it seem like that Bybul need to be updaytid. Huh.

So todae I is doin som mor of this theolojikul reeflekshun, this tim about Noer. Cuz altho we noez that some vegtabbulz automatiklee gets considered importint, aminal peeplez not alwaez get sutch rekognishun.

An heer’z whut I thingks. I's gonna let mai mom tranzlayt mai thingkin so everboddee unnerstandz it.

Mom Sez:

According to Musashi, one of the major problems of the story of Noah and the Ark is that they din’t mayk accommodations for…well…everybody’s poop. Musashi figures that there must have been a Poop Barge. Apparently, somehow the wasps, hummingbirds, chipmonks, rabbits, sheep, cows, hippopotamice, and elepfunts are all going to walk along a very nerrow rope between the Ark and the Barge, so as to get to their litter boxes.

Microscopic litter boxes, small litter boxes, medium, large, extra large, and elephuntyn litter boxes…

You get the picture.

And oh, yes, they all walk back across the rope back to the Ark.

Yeah, whut yer problim wift that?

Bein the Bizziest Kitee

Musashi Sez:

Wull, todae I wuz bizzee an no jok. I playd soccr wift my mom (an she winnd, but only cuz I kept hittin the ball undr the bookcays, an gottid fowlz). Then I tooked a nap, but wift verree seeryus marchin aroun to mayk shur it wuz sayf an stuff.

Fynlee, mom caym hom, but then she started cleenin agin, lik no tomorrer! Then this cyut Russhin laydee caym an lookt at all the roomz. We think she migt stay.

But I gotta say, I iz enormusslee egzawtstid. Huh. I will probabul sleep all mornin now. Aftr, of cors, sleepin all nigt. Natchuralee.

Kleenin Up Them ArftrMaths

Musashi/Octavian Sez:

Now that our writr bunneez has had tim to lee-ay-zon wift M in Londin, we kin now updayt yu on the stayt of affayrz in sothern Frans, wher we leftid our hero (whu is kinda me) an mai frendz. But ther is lotsa tecknikul detail an I am jus now recovrin from dansin Conga to “Copacabana” fer the las 10 monfts!!! (This whut happinz wen yer writrz go off an joynz a cult. Huh.) So we’r goin to let Mom/Narraytr Gal, yu noe, narrayts.

Narrator Says:

Actually, Octavian has it backwards. In fact, on September 25, when the folks at the inn started dancing the conga line to the communal frenzied singing of the “Copacabana,” a whol dae after the dans began, our entir pool of writer bunneez hared off to join a cult of rabbit Krishnas in Nebraska, U.S., leeving our heroz, some villains and several dozen arguably innocent frentch citizens and internashunl toorists locked in a 10-monft long temperospatial claudication.

Wift som halp frum the Archaik Ordr of the Librariunz of Alekzandria, M16 wuz able to modify the memoreez of the participants and their naybrz so that they all beleevz they watchd an eg-skroshi-aytin 4-hour long “So Yu Thingk Yu Kin Dans.”

Durin the 9-hour gap between freeing the bunneez an getting to the inn down in sothern Franz, however, the Jamaykin band disapeerd mysteeryuslee. The Libraryunz ar followin up on that end whil M16 werkz on de breefin its agents an their assosiyutz.

A grayt deel of nappin is goin on sins M chewd out Octavian fer messin up a mishun that had been 9 monfts in the maykin. Mos of this nappin is goin on in a (rathr crwdid) dog hous behind a Londin apartmint rentid out near Diagon Alley. Verree lo rent.

But yu din’t heer that frum me.

Bakgrown Reesertch

Musashi Sez:

Accordin to my Mom-—er, Watchr—-we findid this stuffs out abowt our so-calld “Hare-Krishnr” emeneez. Turnz out, they wuzn’t the Reellee Reel Hare Krishnas at all, whu has no connexion wift bunneez. This compound we raydid hadsd nothin to do wift actual rabbit types. Go figger. An them old tomez that Mom keeps on her shalvz told us lots about the bad gyz we wuz figtin (so it turnd out gud that I hadsd to go hom fer my vizit to the vet, cuz I gotst the insyd skup on the fansee bakgrown reesertch! Huh!). The ol buks tol us that:

The Bunny Cult traces its beginnings to the Viking raids of Ireland in the 8th century. Wily rabbits from Trondheim smuggled themselves aboard the outgoing longboats, and alighted on Irish shores slightly nauseous but up for some fun. St. Patrick may have driven all the snakes out of Ireland in the mid-400s, but no one felt much like carrying on the tradition and the Bunnies were allowed to stay.

Wuns we wuz knowin that, we cud tayk them down wift tayzrs an judo an lik that, hah, wiftout havin to worree about mistikul backlash.

The Ancient and Honourable Bunny Cult. 22 June 2011. Web.

Mai Kittee Trahmr/How Thinz Egsplodid Then

Musashi Sez:

So the rescyoo mishun wuz ackomplisht, although I had to go hom in the middul to has mai anyual vizit to the vet. I lik the vet. Her offis has lotsa innersting smells. I eevn lay on the flor an cleend my pawz fer awhile, which surprizd the vet. She sed that kitteez don’t do that mutch, but I am a totallee nonchalant kittee, in the offis at leest. Not the trayn. I NOT lik the trayn. Not not not! It is noizee an trahmattik.

Aneewae, by the tim I gots bak to Nabraska, we hads the Hare Krishna compound suroundid. We put on our ninjr soots an grabbed ou flowr bookays fer camoflage an went in armd fer bunnee.

Our leedr wuz a straynj littul bald gy wift a speech impidimint. Wen the Hare Krishnas saw our amayzin flowrz, they all stoppd whut they wuz doin an caym ovr to sniff. I grabbd my gy an putted him in a full Mason-Dixon, an he kickd lik a kangaroo. I din’t see mutch of whut wuz happinin wift the other ninjr SWAT gyz cuz it wus all I cud do not to let him get awae or, possibutl, disembowl me.

The writr bunneez wuz so graytful to us fer halpin lberayt them, they offerd me a gest star spot on their spy bog, but I sed I’d hav to nap fer a monft or 2 before I cud eevn think about it. Turnz out them akshun mooveez is mutch hardr werk than they looks.

The Thrid Escape

Musashi Sez:

Wull we ben verree bizzee in the las 30 owrz or so, altho yu migts not be aybul to tell. Moslee, it wuz me, Musashi, bein bizzee wift the hollecoptrz an stuff, landin at the higest poynt of the compond of them Hare Krirshnrz whut kitten-napt all them bunneez frum mai buddee, Octavian’s writr pool (the one wiftout the akshul green waddr).

So, yah, we landed on the rooftop an then, cuz it wuz all too mutch fer me wift the noiz an the egsytmint, I went into a 15 minit cays of whut we kitteez call “compozhur groomin” an then I falld asleep fer hors an hors.

But the gud nooz is that, wen I finlee wokd up, mai spy buddeez frum the holicptr wuz reddee to rol