A Quantum of Salsa

Musashi Sez:

Som of mai reedrz wuz verree glad wen I escaypt from Licktenshtyn an got bak to mai reglar lyf, espeshul becuz they wer missin mai commintaree on toyz an littr an othr importint stuff. I didn’t egspekt a 72-hour mishun to last fer 2 monfts lik that. Mom sez it’s cuz of jet lag an quantum. Tim kin do stretchee stuff wen a lot is happnin at onse. Well-noen fact. Happns to athletes all the tim. Thingk about the Lympics.

An if I’m goin to be a responsibul writr servin mai constitchooensee of jentul reedrz, then I got to be maykin som desizhuns.

Does I gives up spyin? Does I gives up telling peeples stuffs they need to noe?

It seemd verree hard until mai mom remind me what her frendz at skool alwaes sez: “It not eethr/or. It boft/and.”

“Huh,” sez I. “How I do boft? How yu egspekt me to be in 2 playsiz at the saym tim?”

“Huh yerself,” she sez. “Yu noe about fhyziks. Yooz quantum. A thing kin absolootlee be in 2 playsiz at the saym tim as long as nobuddee noe about it egsaktlee.”

She egsplaynd it to me ovr an ovr til I gotst it. Parentlee, it has to do wift this kittee naymed Schroedinger whu travlz playsis in a box. She sez that basiklee, kitteez has the 9 lyvz, but evrboddee alwaes assoomz they got to liv them SEE-QUENT-CHALLEE, lik 1 aftr another. But ther no reezn why we can’t liv 2 at the saym tim, as long as we don’t yooz that GPS trackin stuff.

Well, I’m still not shur I folloz it all, but I chekt it out wift MII-6, an they sed, oh yeah, we does that all the tim.

OK, no. They’s British. Whut they akshul sed wuz, “Qwite rigt, ol man. Didn’t M tell yu? It’s qwite the don thing.” (Mom tranzlaytid fer me into Merikan.)

So tomorrow I’m goin to start a PARALELL blog wift my parallel lyf.

PS: Meenwhyl, I lerns how to salsa, so I kin sweet-talk the laydeez. Tango wud be askin wae tooo mutch.

Kthxbai.

Mom Says:

Check it out tomorrow at http://agenteightsspyjournal.blogspot.com

It’s exactly what it sounds like, except without the apostrophe.

Seekret Spy Traynin—Dae 1

So MI6 hasn’t egsaktlee sed they’r taykin me yet. I has to “go on a cors of traynin” first. But alreddee I lernd som vokabyoolaree:

Data Gatherin: Spyin.
Data Confermayshun Activateez: Spyin on othr spyz.
Diplomatik Innervenshun: Spyin an sassinaytin.
Esbionazh: Mor spyin.
Red Tayp: Nothin iz getting don about this til Cristmus, if yu’r luckee.
Survaylins: Watchin foks.
Survaylins Qwipmint: Stuff lik peraskops an opra glassz. Also, collr camraz. (I can’t wayt to get myn!!!)
Traynin Orientayshun: Fillin out payprz. Is lik red tayp, egsept wift a #2 pensil.

Mai Praktis Mishun

Musashi Sez:

Mom sez I shud start small wift mai spyin, so I asksed Ms. Dench to send me to this littul playse calld Lick-ten-shtyn. It is nex to Switzerlun an it has a big problin wift hoomin peeples bringin their monnee to be washd. Wai they can’t wash it at hom, I dunno, but parently, this is problim.

Mai granpa has workd wift this problim heer in the Amerika. Neer as I kin figger, wen you washiz yer monnee, the green stuff fayd so it hard to see how mutch is werth. Ms. Dench sez they been washin thoz Inglish pound payprs so mutch, she can’t hardly see the numbrz anyeemor. So I gotta go in an see what I kin do.

But is a big seekrit, so don’t tell noboddee, OK?

Kthxbai.

Almos 008.