Wull, I has been readin othr peeple's blogs fer inspirayshun, an mai Mom's frend Amandr wrote one about sesame oil that not evr mention Aladdin an his Fansee Cave, but had a cute piktchur of a turtul.
So, since Mom is back at werk full time again, I has decided to spend the day pertending to be a turtul. This migt sound diffrcult, but it is not hard if yu noe how. I tells yu.
1. This first part is lik that yogr thing Mom has been tryin, egsept wiftout all the gruntin. Yu has to get in w hat she call VW Bug Poz. A Bug is a car that sit on its haunches, not showin its paws, like this.
2. I also shows yu the unnerside so yu noes wher to put yer paws, cause it is not immediately obvious.
3. Yu stis like this an thingk veree hard about stuffs, like whut you want fer yer birftdae (fer example) or if yu fergettid to turn off the coffee pot inside yer shell.
4. If thinkin like this make yu worree, yu kin go inside yer shell to turn off the coffee pot an get som paper an a crayon an make a list. I recommend green or bloo, cuz these are turtul colors.
5. While yu is inside ther, yu kin take a nap.
6. When yu wakes up, yu stretches an then yu walks veree slowlee into the kitchen. This cud take a veree long time, an yu may has to stop fer anothr nap, but since nobody home, they are not goin to trip over yu.
7. This the trickee part, cuz yu probablee want noms rigt about now, but it seem that turtuls can't jump. But it is okay, because kangaroos kin jump lik nobody's bizness, eevn betterer than kittehs, if yu kin believe it. So yu pertends to be a kangaree who gots a turtul in yer pocket and yu JUMPS!!! up to wher yer fud is. The kangaroo an the turtul has lunch togethr. Whil they are there next to the erfidgiator, they kin leev yer list, cuz that is often where Mom put her grossery list, to remind her to buy all that gross stuff lik orinje joos an spinach. I give yu a example of a list.
NINJA MYOOTINT TURTUL BIRFTDAE CAKE
Then she will just think that it is her list and she will buy stuff.