Musashi Sez:
So, as the mime artist seds, here goes
nothing. (Hnrf, hnrf, hnrf!)*
I has ben asksin mai mom fer a ponee fer,
like, years an years. Mebbe evn FIVE years, which are like a whole paw or mor,
depending. But she keep sayin, Poneez is egspensive. They are big. They eets a
lotta straw. They mayk way bigger poops than I does (an whu gonna clean that up?). They reqwire the
egsersize. They makes noise wift their hoofs, so the folks downstairs will
complain… Blah, blah, blah.
Against these argyoomints I sez, Yus, but
wiftout a ponee to practice wift, how am I goin to prepare fer my fyootchr career
as a movie cowboy?
So I has been thinking about last-ditch
efferts. This is whut Sir Terry Pratchett sometimes call the “Million-to-One”
Inevitability. I shows yu a “quote that is important to think about”**:
“When you need them, million-to-one chances
always crop up….You know, that when there’s just one chance which might just
work—well, it works. Otherwise, there’d be no—…I mean, it stands to reason, if
last desperate chances didn’t work, there’d be no…well, the gods wouldn’t let
it be any other way. They wouldn’t.”***
So I has decide that when we finalee go to
beds tonigt an she is fallin asleep, I will verree softlee tell her a buncha
cowboy stories, the ones where the cowboy kittee an his brayv horsee sidekik
save the day from wandering bandits, an buffallos and also, possibul
erpublicans, tho I am not shur about this last categoree. Mebbee we kin just
stick wift cattle wrasslers. Cuz the cattle are busy enugf wiftout having to
wrassle wift each other. Huh.
*In case yu not noe by now, this last bit is
the soun of me larfing. Some peeples larf “hee haw” or eevn “har har har.” I do
it mai way instead.
**This is a veree neer parafraze from one of
mai mom’s stoodint’s paypers. I wud hav quoted direkly, but then I wud hav had
to tell yu his name, which we think not a good idear.
***Pratchett, Terry. Guards! Guards! New York: HarperTorch, 1989, p.
292. Go read it.
