Wull, it has ben verree gud to be bak on Earth, after my long journey in the orbit lookin fer Captain Nemo in our armchair spaceship. But now I am spending my time walkin around on the desk and the bed and the armchair and the table, sniffin everything to make its acqwaintance again. Naturally, I also sniffs the mail. Mom gets Netflix movies, and the most recentest one had, on the back of the perty red envelope, “MOMS ROCK.” An I cudn’t agree mor.
But I also noes that yu migt not akshully noe about this importint part of history, so I will tell yu it.
See, about 400 years ago, the Indians who lived in Massachoosetts got very upset wift all the doggeez and kitteez whu was sneaking into their camps and stealing their fud. So they built a big tent in Plymouth to put them in so they wud stop.
Meanwhile, back in England and Dutchland an places lik that, there were lotsa moms whu culdn’t have doggeez and kitteez because they had the mean landlords whu wudn’t let them. They got verree upset about this, so they decided that they wud do something about it. So they put all their money together an bougtid a big boat, and they sailed West fer more than a monft. Weeks an weeks, they sailed, looking fer someplace they cud hav a betterer life.
Finally, they saw land, so they went to it and parked their boat. They marched down the gangplank and they saw a big rock and behind it, a big ol tent wift lotsa barking and meowing going on inside. Some of the Indians were staring at all the moms getting off the boat.
But othr Indians was yelling at the tent: “Settle down in there! Shut up! We are trying to husk corn and wift all yer yapping, we can’t concentrayt!”
So two of the moms put their heds together. Joan Aldrin sed, “Huh, I bet we kin mayk a deal here.”
An Millicent Standoffish sed, “I noes exactly whut to do!”
They went to the Indians and sed, “If yu let us have some land to liv on, we will take all those doggeez and kitteez off yer hands fer yu, and keeps them out of yer hair.”
An the Indians sed, “AWESOME!”
(Except that this was hundreds and hundreds of yeers ago, so there was probably lots of thees and thous and passing miraculouses, an like that cuz peoples talked funny back then.)
So they named their nu hom in America “Moms’ Rock.” An that is why we still say this to this day.
The End. Huh.