Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Swyn Floo, Hoomin Parernoyr, an Kittee Wizdm
That intenslee hoomin werld that mai mom is traipsing around in has lots of dezeezulz, also noen as infekshuns, or ilnissiz. Tummy or lung or eerz or noz, all them infekshunz is jus bad!!!
But parentlee, the werstist dezeezul laytlee is this new Swyn Floo thin.
See, it go lik this. If sombodee, say, in sothrn Chyna, whu has som pigs that they rayz fer (don’t tell them piggeez!) fud, an they also livs in this arear wher geesiz com to hang out in som timz of yeer, then, po-ten-chullee, WHAMO!!!! Yu gots the possibulness of a floo that has gon thru 2 or eevn 3 speeseez, an that nevr gud.
Now I has a pertee strong (tho vayg) beleef in Ceiling Cat, an I noe that he liv and pouns an hav his bein in us heer on the erth-glob-thin.
But I also hav slept on buks on the Spannish floo of 1917~1921 or ther-abouts. It wuz jus lik this one heer, egsept that they had jus finishd a Werld War, so lotsa gyz wer commin bak hom, bein sik. Still, we gots lots mor ayrplayn fligts now than we hadsd then. Oy. So hard to figgr.
Mom sez that I shud jus tell yu 2 thins;
1) Keep washin yer hans, but not wift that BAD Anti-bacterul stuff. Thingk: BAD KITTEE! Yu shud jus onlee yooz the soep or alkolol-based stuff. (Then yu a gud kittee.)
2) I fergittid the sekund 1 so I goin to mayk it up. Gimme a sekund.
La la la! Warm! Baby, Warm! REETCHIN OUT!
Tutchin me! TUTCHIN YUUUUUUU!
(Soree fer the elevaytr myoozik. I not noe how to turn it off on the HOLD funkshun.)
Aneewae, oh yah the sekund thin. Wull, Mom wuz telling me about how she seed a postr about the helfcayr thin, an she halpd me find it on Guuugul. So I thogtid, if ther ar Merikanz whu is so unner the wethr that they callz in to werk ded, we gots to fix this. An I gots the perfikt fix. But it compulkaytid, so you gots to pay attenshun.
See, aftr yu runz out of sik daes, yu gots to start callin in felyn. Evrbodee noe that kitteez got to gets extra naptime evr six hours or so. Ther eevn a veree innerestin case goin on rigt now about a partiklr unnaymd blog wher they didn’t giv the kittee an rabbit perdooserz of the blog enugf naptime an, parentlee, they gots in all kinda trubbul.
So yu migt eevn be abul to yooz the Merikanz wift Disabiliboblteez Act to supportz yu in yer figt.
There. I has done mai seeryus for the month. Now we kin focus on havin fun an stuffs.